January 20, 2011

Rockin’ Review: The 5 Love Languages



Please check out our Facebook Fan Page to see who the WINNER is!!   :)

Once AGAIN….. two of our “dahling” divas have done reviews on a book that is amazing! I don’t know about you guys out there, but I have heard nothing but raving reviews on this book.

Here are our divas:

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The 5 Love Languages

by Dr. Chapman

I have read many wonderful marriage books, but I really feel like I gained some valuable knowledge from this one. My husband and I read this book together which I highly recommend doing. We read a chapter each night and then talked about what we learned and how we felt. It is amazing how Dr. Chapman has really been able to capture the essence of each emotional love language and what makes our love tanks stay full.

He touches on what should be the most obvious ways to keep the love alive in a marriage, yet they aren’t obvious even to a couple with longevity! I have to admit that I hadn’t even considered his points until I read his book, but they make absolute sense. I had this feeling of enlightenment throughout the book as I thought to myself, “Duh! I should know this stuff!”

Dr. Chapman talks several times over through out this book about keeping your spouse’s emotional love tank full. One part that truly resonated with me was this:

“When your spouse’s emotional love tank is full and [he] feels secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach [his] highest potential in life. But when the love tank is empty and [he] feels used but not loved, the whole world looks dark and [he] will likely never reach [his] potential for good in the world.”

This is SO true! This is a simple truth that my mother taught to me in not so many words. She always taught me that a good man is a product of a good marriage. This is also true of a good wife. At least that is how I feel about myself. My husband has brought out all of my good qualities and I continue to strive to be a better wife and person because he loves me so well.

Onto the Love Languages. I don’t want to “spoil” what this book holds in store for each of you. Just know that as you read through each of these chapters you will not only discover many new things about yourself, but you will also learn a lot about your spouse, too. Hopefully even more than you ever thought possible. Knowledge is power and if you have the knowledge of what your spouse really needs to fill his/her love tank then you have the power to change your marriage for the better.

Luckily, both my husband and I have a good read on each other and we have pretty well nailed down what each other’s love language is without knowing it. The interesting part is neither of us fit into just ONE of the categories. Probably because both of us possibly have had our emotional love tanks full for a long time. Or it could be because both of us express love in many ways so we’re not sure which love language makes us feel more loved.

We took the profile at the end that admittedly didn’t help either of us discover our ultimate love language. This could be due to the fact that both my husband and I are Gemini’s (if you believe in all that, then we are twins. Multiple personalities make for multiple love languages. lol). Anyway, I do feel that this part was really helpful to understand the differences between the different love languages. Overall, I really felt like this book was definitely worth the read. If you and your spouse have been struggling in your marriage or if you are just looking to take your marriage to the next level, then this book is for you! It is witty and brilliant and will give you a “warm & fuzzy” feeling at the end.

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When my cute cuz {& fellow diva} Kristen started raving about the book, The 5 Love Languages , I decided I should look into it.  My hubby, Jamie, & I were given the book on CD when we were first married, but with Jamie not being a huge reader and me never having a spare minute to myself….we just never got around to it.  HUGE mistake!  I am telling you…..if you are going to read just ONE marriage book in your lifetime…then this would be the one to choose!

The author, Gary Chapman, starts off by clearing up the “mystery” as to why the honeymoon phase fizzles at the beginning of marriages.  He tells us: “We have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever.  …..We observe that some married couples seem to have lost that feeling, but it will never happen to us. ‘Maybe they didn’t have the real thing,’ we reason. Unfortunately the eternalityof the in-love experience is fiction, not fact.   …We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was – a temporary emotional high – and now pursue ‘real love’ with our spouse.  ….It is a love that unites reason and emotion.  It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.  Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another….”

He goes on to explain that everybody gives and receives love in different ways….but that it can generally be broken down into five categories: words of affirmation {compliments}, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  Most people have a “front runner” love language and then a secondary one.  It’s not very common that two people with the same love language end up together….THUS….you need to figure out what “strikes a chord” in your spouse so you know how to “feed his love tank”. For example, my love language is TOTALLY “words of affirmation”!!  If my hot hubby tells me I look beautiful, I go weak at the knees.  My husband’s love language is physical touch.  COMPLETELY different, huh!  Now, if I were to tell my husband he looks amazing {…which I tend to do, since he IS…and that is how I perceive showing love}….he would definitely appreciate it….but…it would mean SO much more if I walked across the room and laid a BIG kiss on his lips!  That’s how HE recognizes love being shown…since it’s his “love language”.

He has learned to read my love language and I have learned to read his.  We both have the secondary love language of acts of service….so by doing things to help out the other person….we each win “brownie points”.  {WINK}

This book has SO much to offer!  It’s a book you will want to refer back to again and again!  I highlighted my copy like crazy…and I thought I would pass a few of my FAV quotes from the book along.  Kinda a little bit of a “teaser”….are you ready?

“The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.”

“When I demand things from my spouse, I become a parent and she the child.”

“It isn’t enough to just be in the same room with someone.  A key ingredient in giving your spouse quality time is giving them focused attention….  Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.”

“What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.”

Ahhhh….you’re hooked, huh!  I am telling you…this is such a great motivation book and a must-have for every relationship!  So what are you waiting for??  Either enter our giveaway OR go purchase your own copy ASAP!  Amazon has them for SUPER cheap!  You can get a new copy for less than $7 + shipping.  :)  ENJOY!!

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Wanna Enter THIS Giveaway?
If you would like to enter THIS giveaway….you can do so by combining the following information….in ONE comment….
#1 – By subscribing to The DATING DIVA  Weekly Newsletter {top right-hand corner of the website} & letting us know you are an official “newsletter reader”. :roll:
By telling us WHICH love language you and your spouse each have. :) If you don’t know, check it out here!
{Include ALL of the above in just ONE comment. Thank you!!}
Would you like an EXTRA SEPARATE entry??
#2 – Spread the word about THIS giveaway via email, blog post, text message, Facebook, or Twitter {Please re-post your actual ”Shout-Out” that you sent to all your friends in your comment below & let us know which networking method above you used.  A link-back to that post/tweet/etc.  if possible, would also be great!}
The giveaway will end tomorrow, Friday, January 21st at 11:00 MST. We will announce the winner on our Facebook Page on January 22nd – so don’t forget to check back to see if the winner is YOU!!  Open only to those living in the U.S. – SO sorry!!

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Recent Comments

167 Responses to “Rockin’ Review: The 5 Love Languages”

  1. lorigalbraith says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

    Would love the book!

  2. Camille says:

    I SO want and NEED this book & definitely don’t wanna LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING!! I am wanting to make this Valentine’s an extra special one and this book would definitely help!! :) From reading about the book I am a “Words Of Affirmation” lover and my husband is a “Physical Touch” kind.
    Here’s my ‘shout-out’ that I posted on Twitter:
    The @DatingDivas are giving away the book 5 Languages Of Love…but, don’t enter because I want to win!

  3. Toni says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING” …so pretty please choose me!!!!!! Please! Please! Please!!!

    Hubby’s love language is Words of Affirmation – mine is Quality Time.
    You guys are great! Thanks for doing this!

  4. Katelyn says:

    I definitely read your news letter (p.s. my fiance LOVED the chocolate peanut butter cupcakes from birthday week) and I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING!” I am getting married in April… and what a better time than now to understand each others love languages!….so pretty pretty please choose me!

  5. Elizabeth says:

    I don’t want to LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING….so pretty please choose me! Please!!!:)

  6. Brandy says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  7. Kylee says:

    I’m subscribed to your newsletter!
    My love language is Acts of Service and my Husband’s is Physical Touch :)

  8. Deanna says:

    My love language is Words of Affirmation and my hubby’s is Quality time. And I am definitely a subscriber!

  9. Michelle P says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  10. Michelle P says:

    I am an official subscribee :) And “Quality Time” is our love language!

  11. Lindsay says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  12. Katherine says:

    I became a subscriber 2 weeks ago and with this site I will never “lose that Lovin’ feeling”. My language is acts of service and my hubbies is Physical touch (at least I think it is!? But if I won the book I would know for sure :0) Thanks you adorable gals!

  13. Robin Robin says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  14. Tisa B. says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

    Have not read this book but would love too:)

  15. Robin Robin says:

    I’m already a subscriber :-)

    He’s quality time, I’m physical touch.

  16. Marci Bowen says:

    I don’t want to LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING!….so pretty please choose me!

    Thanks for the extra entry!

  17. colette says:

    I subscribe
    My love language is acts of service, my husband is quality time

  18. colette says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  19. colette says:

    i posted on FB
    I entered a giveaway on the datingdivas.com

  20. Jenn B says:

    I sure don’t want to LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING. :-)

  21. Jenn B says:

    I subscribed to your newsletter pretty much as soon as you announced your new page, and I enjoy reading through them when they come!

    My primary love language is Quality Time and Hubby’s is gifts.

  22. Tracy says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me! (Been married for 16 years….we kinda need this! )

  23. Lauren O. says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

    My love language is acts of service/receiving gifts and my husband’s is physical touch.

  24. Holly Borgholthaus says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  25. Julianna says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

    My love language is acts of service, my husband’s is receiving gifts/physical touch.

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