April 22, 2011

Rockin’ Review: Dr. Laura

by

***This Giveaway has CLOSED.*** Please check our Facebook Fan Page for the winner. Thanks to all of you who entered!

“Dr. Laura urgently conveys to women that the to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage. Women want to be in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Yet disrespect for men and disregard for the values, feelings, and needs of husbands has fast become the standard for male-female relations in America, often creating struggle and strife in what could be a beautiful relationship.”

I actually read this book when I was first married. My mother-in-law purchased it and we passed it around to all of the girls in the family. Since I had the opportunity to do this review, I decided to read it again. This is by far one of my favorite books on marriage for this reason: I cannot control my husband’s actions. However, I can control my own and by doing so…I can change his actions. Make sense? How I treat my husband invariably determines how he treats me. If I am unkind and insufferable…I can expect that same behavior from him. Oh, not right away of course, but in due time a man can only take so much. Men tend to be far more patient with us women because they love us and they hate to see us unhappy. Why? Because it’s bred into their gene pool. They want to take care of what is theirs. Take it from Dr. Laura, “Men admittedly are putty in the hands of a woman they love.

What I absolutely love about this book is that Dr. Laura has a way of putting the true issues right in front of your face. She doesn’t hum-n-haw about important matters and she certainly doesn’t sugar-coat it for our benefit. Thank heavens for that! I have a true appreciation for anyone that can give the facts to me straight. That is what makes this book such an intriguing read. Dr. Laura gives examples from her own experiences with struggling couples from her radio program. It is really interesting to read the dialog that goes on between her and her listeners. From the outside in it seems like these couples problems are a no-brainer. But, we all know that on the inside of a marriage, our problems just don’t seem so easily solved.

I had a lot of learning to do when I was first married. We all have to go through that period of time learning about the other person, but more importantly, learning HOW to treat the other person. We aren’t in courting-ville anymore…but we should be! Marriage doesn’t mean the end all of trying to please the other person. When I was first married I was independent to a fault, strictly clean and organized (I couldn’t even handle ONE dirty dish in the sink), and I tried my best to reform my husband’s way of thinking to be streamlined with my own. I can’t say that I was absolutely horrible…but, I’m grateful that my husband loved me enough to stay with me while I figured out that it wasn’t him who needed to change…IT WAS ME. We have both grown a great deal over the years and I have been thankful for the advice that I read in Dr. Laura’s book. It put some serious issues into perspective for me and made me realize the changes that I needed to make were necessary to the survival of my marriage.

Dr. Laura says, “Men usually mean exactly what they say and don’t speak in the more indirect style more typical of women.” It’s so true! I used to play those little mind games of dropping ‘hints’ to my husband and getting upset when he didn’t “get it”. How could he not see those subtle hints that I kept giving him?? Because, ladies, unless you point it out in plain view for them, it’s not their fault and you’re not being fair to him. Unless they’re psychic…or they’re paying extreme attention out of fear of messing up. Dr. Laura used this example given by a man named Dan:

“I am a thirty-seven-year-old man who has seen quite a bit in life, and I can offer this to your search for how to treat a man. We are men, not dumb-dumbs, psychics, or one bit unromantic. We need only clear communication, appreciation, honest love, and respect. This will be repaid by laying the moon and stars at your feet for your pleasure. There is no need to ‘work’ a man to get what you want. We live to take care of a wife, family, and home. Just remember that we are men, and know that our needs are simple but not to be ignored. A good man is hard to find, not to keep.”

Also in this book, Dr. Laura talks about how many wives contract the “Frump syndrome”. At first this gave me the giggles and then I was appalled…and then I realized the reality of this truth. Personally, I work hard to keep my figure (which had gotten more voluptuous with age — I’ll admit that), but some days I just don’t have it in me to get all dolled up. My goal? To always look amazing when my husband walks through the door from work. It doesn’t always happen. I’m definitely human. However, there have been days where I am literally running to the shower and doing my hair an hour before my husband gets home at 6:00PM…and I have not regretted doing that…EVER. Dr. Laura also talks about the clothing we choose to wear to bed (please refer to my Not Just A Pair of PJs post). Ladies, intimacy is super important in marriage. No matter how you slice it. “{Intimacy] is to a husband what conversation is to a wife. When a wife deprives her husband of [intimacy] for days, even weeks on end, it is tantamount to his refusing to talk to her for days, even weeks.” ‘Nuff said.

Now look, we all want to be an amazing wife. That is, of course, why you are on our beloved Dating Divas site to begin with, right? We all want to make our marriages not just better, but amazing!! There are a lot of tips and tricks that Dr. Laura shares in her book…a few of them I have just given you above. I just want each of you to know that I am definitely an example of a woman needing a personal change that I didn’t even realize I needed to begin with! So if you want to get serious about making some big changes in your marriage start by reading this book by Dr. Laura. Take notes, make some goals, and get to work. Incredible marriages don’t just happen, they are earned.

You can check out MORE on Dr. Laura’s website!!

How can YOU Enter THIS Giveaway?

Such a great and informative book!!  So….if you would like to enter THIS giveaway….you can do so by combining the following information….in ONE comment….

#1 - By subscribing to The DATING DIVA Weekly Newsletter {top right-hand corner of the website} & if you don’t already “like” us on Facebook, do that… and then let us know you are an official “newsletter reader” AND FB junkie in your comment.

AND

#2 - Please share with us what you do in your own marriage to take proper care of your spouse!?!

{Include ALL of the above in just ONE comment. Thank you!!}

Would you like an EXTRA SEPARATE entry??

#3 - Spread the word about THIS giveaway via email, blog post, text message, Facebook, or Twitter {Please re-post your actual ”Shout-Out” that you sent to all your friends in your comment below & let us know which networking method above you used.  A link-back to that post/tweet/etc.  if possible, would also be great!}  Make SURE this is a separate comment than the one above…so you can have multiple entries for getting the news out!  :)

The giveaway will end tomorrow night, April 23rd at 11:00 MST. We will announce the winners on our Facebook Fan Page on Monday, April 25th – so don’t forget to check back to see if the winner is YOU!! Open only to those living in the U.S. – SO sorry!!

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Recent Comments

62 Responses to “Rockin’ Review: Dr. Laura”

  1. Natalia Gibson says:

    I have shared this on facebook. I’m not sure how to post the link here without just posting the link to this same website…But I hope this will do. I have also posted this on my blog. I said “If you haven’t heard of The Dating Divas, well shame on you! They have great advice for marriage, and how to date your husband again. I can’t believe I didn’t know about them sooner! I discovered them a few weeks ago while I was trying to figure out what my husband and I should do for our anniversary. These ladies had some WONDERFUL ideas on what to do. You should definitely check them out!”

  2. Gabi says:

    I subscribe and would love to read this book.

  3. Gabi says:

    I make sure to make delicious dinners for my husband each night.

  4. Lindsay says:

    I have subscribed to the newsletter! I try to always have dinner for him. It is a really big deal for him, he travels a lot and gets sick of fast food:) I also make an effort to try to tell him directly how i feel and not be wishy washy about it.

  5. Kimberlie says:

    OOooo pick me!!! I would love to read this! I am a subscriber & Facebook fan! :) To take care of my hubby, I’m much like the other ladies & try to have dinner ready when he gets home from work (E-Mealz has been AWESOME for this, by the way). It really does sound like such a simple thing but seriously, he just appreciates not having to make any more decisions when he gets home from work, like “what are we going to have for dinner?”. I am constantly telling him how much I love him during the day & I definitely try to have a clean home when he walks in the door…I know how much I hate coming home to a messy house so it for sure sets the mood for the rest of the evening. :)

  6. Brooke Hill says:

    I am a newsletter reader and a facebook fan. To take care of my man I always make sure to have his favorite treat stashed somewhere in the house so if he is having a bad day I can whip it out and make it a bit better. And I always tell him how much I love him and how much I appreciate all he does for me

  7. Jessica S says:

    I am now a newsletter subscriber (Thanks for the printouts!) and I like you on FB! I try to let my Husband make some decisions on his own and then be supportive of the decision he’s made. ie. choosing the vehicle he wants to drive, change jobs, etc. Things that are very personal to him. If he wants to include me in his decision I am grateful and will give my 2 cents but in the end I leave it up to him. I am pretty sure he appreciates that I don’t have the need to ‘control’ his every move.

  8. Jessica S says:

    I shared your link on my FB page :)

  9. Michelle says:

    My husband is finishing his last day of medical school today. YEAH!!! It has been really hard the last 4 years of school with 4 kids and student loans to go out for dates. Instead, I have tried really hard to find fun and free things to do. Most the time it was even just setting aside time to relax and talk. It always feels much better after we can chat about all the memories we have shared.

    I subscribed to your newsletter and liked you on facebook.

  10. Stephanie S says:

    I subscribe to your newsletter and am also a fan on facebook. I always try to take care of my husband “to be”!!!!:) Wheather it is a good meal for dinner, house cleaned and picked up, or always trying to “dress” myself up to his liking;P I love Dr Luara and have listened to her radio show for many years; although now I can’t seem to find her on a station close to home:( I would love to read her book!!

  11. Zoey says:

    Yes, I subscribe and am a fan on facebook. For my marriage, I also make sure that we take time for date night and to talk about things that aren’t kid related. It’s pretty tricky, but we are finally getting better at it. (BTW, I used to have the book, but I lent it out. I would love to have a copy again so that I could read it, share it, and lose it again!!!)

  12. Maria says:

    I am a newsletter subscriber and a fan on Facebook. My husband is in school right now and I do my best to give him the space he needs to read his textbooks, do his homework etc. even when I’d rather he were doing something with me. I also proof-read his papers before he turns them in.

  13. Mom, Jess,
    The Dating Divas did a review of the book we were talking about last night, The Proper Care and Feeding of a Husband. Dating Divas is just one blog I follow about strengthening your marriage. They give fun ideas for dates and stuff. I sent Jess a list of a couple of other ones I follow too, like Gwen in Love, about intimacy. (The internet isn’t all bad, Mom. ;) Let me know if you want the list too and I will show you how to follow blogs and stuff.) I believe that Satan is trying to destroy our families like never before and we must do all that we can to protect them. I also believe the first place we need to start is with our marriage. It is, after all, the foundation of the family. If we can strengthen our marriages, we will be better parents, sisters, daughters, AND better people.

    http://www.thedatingdivas.com/kari/dr-laura-proper-care-of-husbands/

    Check it out!! See you tomorrow…I’m excited!!

    Love,
    Sis

  14. I like to leave my hubby love notes in unexpected places and make sure he knows how much I love him and appreciate him. His love language is words of affirmation so I really try to keep that love bucket full!!

  15. Lorraine says:

    I am a newsletter subscriber and facebook junkie. Right now my husband is far away in Afghanistan, so I have to be a little but creative about how I take care of him. We chat on Skype every day after the kids are in bed here so that we can have one on one time. Each month I mail him a care package filled with special things that I know he will love and will help him to know that we love him. He tells me that no one around him gets as many packages from home as he does! It makes him feel special!

  16. Amy N says:

    I am a subscriber! :) and a FB junkie. I have hear fabulous things about this book. I want to start treating my husband like the amazing man he is and stop being so selfish. I think this book will help. thanks!

  17. Alyssa Clark says:

    I love getting your weekly newsletters and always keep my eyes peeled for your posts on Facebook. Something that I love to do for my spouse is leave him love letters around the house. I love seeing his face whenever he reads them. :) He always gets a smile on his face and I can tell that it makes him feel good and he knows that I am constantly thinking of him. It is such a simple thing to do, and it goes a long way.

  18. Torrri Mahoney says:

    I subscribe to the newsletter, am a fan on facebook…and I take lunch to my husband on Sunday’s when he is gone all day and busy.

  19. Ri says:

    Already a subscriber and I do lots of things to take care of him but probably firstly is to make him feel like a man. Men need to feel like they’re a king, they’re important, and appreciated. You make him feel like a king, and he’ll treat you like a queen.

  20. Emily says:

    I am a subscriber- of course! :)

    I am actually not married yet (July!) so I am working hard now to figure out what it takes to be a good wife. I had gotten into the habit of not worrying what I looked like around him, and changed that a month or so ago. It’s so important to make sure the one you love knows you care enough to TRY around him! I would love reading this book in preparation for our marriage! Thanks for the opportunity! :)

  21. Jessica says:

    I’ve been a long time follower of you on facebook and subscribed to your email as soon as you came out with it!! I’d love to read this book! I love to take care of my spouse with spontaneous gifts and texts! I know he appreciates it! My husband and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary this year! I’d love to get my hands on this book! Thanks for the chance! Ü

  22. Melissa says:

    I am an official “newsletter reader” AND FB junkie!!! I take care of my hubby by being supportive of him in all his pursuits, I show him love as much as I can and I try to be as understanding of a wife as I can!! I try to make him as happy as I can!! After 11 yrs together come May…we’re jus as much in love today as we were in May 2000!!

  23. Brittany says:

    I check your website at least once a week and are on facebook all the time!!! We just talked about this book at a Girl’s night out we have and would love to have it! Some of the things I do for my husband to take extra good care of him is to leave lunch box notes, planning an extra special egg hunt for him tomorrow, and surprise him with little treats in his lunch box every now and then just to know that he is someone special!!!

  24. Stephanie Hyler says:

    I am a subscriber and I am a fan on facebook and visit several times a day. I try to be a good support for my husband. He recently lost his job and so we have been struggling to make ends meet, but while he is home, we try to spend quality time with each other. We try to take care of each others physical, mental, and spiritual needs. He doesn’t like to cook, but will come sit by me or talk to me when I am. He is a sports junkie, I am less so, but I like to support him with his hobbies and will go to events with him when we can, and sacrifice my tv shows for sports events that are important to him. I would really like to win this. We have been working on building our relationship and have been reading a book called, \Between Husband and Wife\ which has been good, but we would like something else to read too.


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