February 24, 2012

Our Special Guest: Mary Lou Green

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Wendy - Our Special Guest Mary Lou Green - Pinterest Pic

 Woot-Woot!! Giveaway today!

{Details below}

Nothing excites me more than reading helpful information I can put to use in my marriage to make it wonderful! Our guest today makes me so excited about my husband AND the love we share. By simply putting these simple tips into place in your own relationship I know how incredible it can and will be! Take the time to read this article. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about Mary Lou and her hubby, Dennis. What wonderful people and great examples! And here she is!!

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Hi!  My name is Mary Lou Green, and I am so thrilled to guest blog for the fabulous Dating Divas.  We are aligned in our mission to help couples stay in love for life one day (and one date) at a time!

Giving Your Spouse The Best Customer Service Ever

My husband Dennis and I have been married for 33 years, and we still date.  Every Friday we go to a movie in a theater and maybe dinner after the movie.  It is sacred to us, and we protect this time at all costs.  I think we have missed 24 Friday dates in all that time due to traveling, company or illness.

Our movie dates represent one of the ways we practice customer care in our marriage.  We believe in the principle of GIVE=GET.  If you give your partner what he or she wants, you will get the love in return that you desire.

Our Customer Rule is different from The Golden Rule that says to treat others as we would like to be treated.  Our Customer Rule is to treat our spouse the way he or she wants to be treated.  It’s a switch in point of view that trains our focus on our true love’s interests and desires.  We want to give each other the best customer service ever!

For example, I love flowers, so Dennis knows that if he sends me flowers, I’ll feel he is showing me that he truly loves me and is thinking about just me.  If I treated him the same way (as in Golden Rule) and sent him flowers, I know he would like the flowers because he enjoys their beauty, but it wouldn’t give him the same meaning as it does for me.

Instead, I could prove how much I appreciate him by doing what he wants (Customer Rule).  If I set aside an afternoon or evening for him to watch a basketball or football game from beginning to end without interruptions, hand him the remote, put snacks at a table by his side and sit with him to watch the game, he would hear “I love you” very clearly.

A good date can be the ultimate customer service experience.  Think about one of the best dates you and your husband ever had.  I bet it would include these components of customer service:

He planned something for you that you really enjoy

He gave you the “WOW” factor and went beyond anything you were expecting

He was fun and polite and smiled at you with his eyes and mouth

He focused on you, maintained eye contact and really listened to you with his whole being

He kept checking in with you to see that you were having a good time

He had a good time, too, and showed you he could join you in your happiness

He asked you for another date

Often in marriage, the “business side” takes over the relationship side.  We get so busy with our jobs, our kids, our families and friends, our houses and cars and hobbies, that we lose the love connection that brought us together when we were dating.  We start to take each other for granted in our pursuit of The American Dream. If we don’t give our partners what they need, they can always shop elsewhere, if only in their minds.

When we become customers of each other, we are not turning ourselves into robots that serve every whim of our partners.  We are not slaves within our marriages.  Instead of focusing on what is wrong with each other and trying to correct those things, we need to remember all the wonderful things that caused us to fall in love with one another.

Our challenge is to keep the magic going.  Here are 5 ways you can create Instant Dates every day to focus on each other, no matter what the business side of marriage has in store for you.

 

1- Give Your Radiance – Smile at your partner every time you see him or her and use your smile to say, “I’m here and ready to help.”

2- Initiate the 20-Second Hug – Grab each other and experience twenty seconds of just holding on to each other as the most important beings in the world. You don’t need to talk.  Just say, “I still do” with your eyes or your arms or the way you fold into one another.

3- Ask What can I do for you?” and figure out a way to deliver that gives added value to your service.

4- Join Me on the Couch – Set aside 10 minutes each day devoted to listening to each other with constant eye contact and no interruptions.

5- Offer Verbal Chocolate Every Day Choose your words so that you treat your partner with respect.  Demonstrate that you wish to communicate rather than annihilate.  Instead of saying, “You forgot to take out the garbage…again,” say “Honey, let me take out the garbage tonight.”

 

“The bottom line is that people are never perfect, but love can be. We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” (Tom Robbins from Still Life with Woodpecker)

A little more about me…

Dennis (my Renaissance Man) and I have been married and worked together to invent and market consumer products for the last 33 years, and we own over 50 patents, trademarks and copyrights.  To share our success with other entrepreneurs, we started a publishing company called Boulevard Press, and we wrote two books to show couples how to become indestructible:  The Marriage Story and Give Your Spouse The Best Customer Service Ever. You can learn more by visiting www.boulevardpress.com or www.DennisandMaryLou.com or by emailing me at Marylou@boulevardpress.com.

The Marriage Story became an amazon.com Best Seller when it launched December 6, 2011.  It tells about a young couple’s desire for a better life and is written entirely in verse.  Most books tell us how to love each other; this book inspires us to want to love each other.

Our next book, Give your Spouse the Best Customer Service Ever, tells how to stay in love by becoming customers of each other.  We teach ten skills that follow our Customer Rule for Couples:  “Be customers of each other to delight not fight.”

See you at the movies!

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Love that! It is such a breath of fresh air having such fun new ways to approach our marriage. This one might be one of my favorites! I challenge you all to look more into their site and the wonderful books they have to offer! Thank you Mary Lou! Now, are you ready for a giveaway??? Woo-hoo!!! Mary Lou has so kindly given me the opportunity to give to a lucky reader, a copy of The Marriage Story! Dennis and Mary Lou’s most recent book! I am stoked! This book is great!!

Log-in with your Facebook account or email below and follow the instructions. :) Ends 2/28/12 at midnight EST. Winner will be announced the following day on our Facebook Fan Page and also at the bottom of this post. Good Luck!!

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Recent Comments

193 Responses to “Our Special Guest: Mary Lou Green”

  1. Erica says:

    Would look forward to the opportunity to read this book. My marriage story in three words:
    Imperfect but complete.

    • Dear Erica,
      I think your three words are a great description of two loving people living together! What talents do you offer to make it complete, and what talents does he offer?

      Monday hugs,
      Mary Lou

  2. Hillary says:

    That was a great post! I really like the perspective about showing love to your spouse not being like the Golden Rule… makes perfect sense. It reminds me of the book “Love and Respect”, which I highly recommend!

    • Dear Hillary,
      I think the best example of when I used the Golden Rule instead of the Customer Rule was when I arranged for a limo to pick us up to go to dinner one Valentine’s Day with another couple. We ended up on the seats facing backward going up a winding road into the Colorado mountains, and Dennis became very ill! Romance quickly turned into nomance! I’d forgotten that winding roads made his stomach go crazy.

      Eggerichs’ book is a great one. I learned early on in working with my husband that respect is key for men and love is so important for women. The Customer Rule helps me remember to offer service rather than criticism which translates into respect, and then love increases. Love that verbal chocolate!

      Wishing you love and respect,
      Mary Lou

  3. Hillary says:

    My marriage story in 3 words:
    “met in Japan”… :)

  4. Amberly says:

    Just so cliche

  5. Angel Boessen says:

    My marriage in 3 words: growing, interesting, and amazing

    • Dear Angel,
      Your three words are so alive! How long have you been married? What does your husband do that helps you grow, stay interested and makes your life amazing? What do you do for him that contributes to the same three words? I am always interested in how people create magic!

      So happy for you,
      Mary Lou

  6. Hilary says:

    What great advice! So simple, but something I never connected. I’ve been trying to show my husband love in ways that I feel loved, like physical touch, but that isn’t his love language. What was I thinking?

    And our marriage story in three words? Haha… That’s impossible. Maybe three phrases?
    mutual friend, amusement park, college

    • Dear Hilary,
      Sounds like you read The Five Languages of Love, one of my favorites. Your three words sound like an interesting story. My three words back: care to share?

      Looking forward to your story,
      Mary Lou

  7. Jenna says:

    I agree that you should treat your husband the way that he wants to be treated, not the way you want to be treated!

    • Dear Jenna,
      When do you think yo first realized that it would be a good idea to treat your husband the way he wants to be treated? How do you discover the ways he wants to be treated? What do you like best about the way he treats you?

      Wishing you continued happiness,
      Mary Lou

  8. Jenna says:

    My marriage story in three words… “young in love!”

    • Dear Jenna,
      It sounds like you have so much excitement and promise packed into your three words. How long have you been married? How did you meet? Did you “know” right away that he was “the one”? I knew that I wanted to marry Dennis after just six weeks, but he needed more time to be sure.

      Hope to hear your story,
      Mary Lou

  9. Brooke says:

    I just found your blog and I really enjoy are your unique ideas!!! They are helping our marriage already.
    3 words or less: Thankful every day

    • Dear Brooke,
      You bring up such key words to go with our Customer Rule! Whenever I get impatient with my husband, I think about how many wonderful qualities he has and his patience in dealing with me, and I redirect my thinking into more positive directions. I never forget that marriage is a contract (vow) that we made to each other, and I want to be sure that Dennis always feels he got a great deal. If I work on my own happiness and self, then I don’t have time to pick at him!

      Do you keep a gratitude journal? I try to find at least one moment each day that reminds me of the richness of our relationship.

      Keep up the attitude of gratitude!
      Mary Lou

  10. Tessa says:

    love and everlasting

    • Dear Tessa,
      I was trying to picture everlasting and came up with some interesting images. I think that will be a good topic for discussion with Dennis…”What does everlasting look like?”

      To reach everlasting, we have to be willing to live our vows. I was thinking about saying my vows on our wedding day, and how there was no way at that moment to truly fathom how important each word would become when faced with challenges like illness, death and financial worries. What is important is to mean them and practice them when the moments present themselves.

      James C. Dobson said it well…”Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.”

      Wishing you everlasting love,
      Mary Lou

  11. Sierra says:

    That is really great advice! I never thought of it that way

  12. In 3 words or less… unselfish acts “of” service.

  13. Melissa H. says:

    Fast and Furious!

  14. Alicia says:

    Our marriage story in three words?
    We just… fit.

  15. Gina Brooks says:

    Dedication, forgiveness, and serving.

  16. tabby says:

    ever-growing love

  17. Sheila says:

    I’ve had a very hard marriage for the past 15 years. We were too young and married too quickly. In the last year we have given our marriage over to God and He alone has grown our love and renewed our relationship. My three words would be “Given to God”

  18. Trista says:

    Such good advice! Three words, hard, growing, and hope!

  19. Sara says:

    Yahoo Checker Connection

  20. Desiree says:

    Wonderful advice! I’ve only been married for 8 months, and am always linking for advice! Thank you!

  21. Cheryl says:

    Love the site! My three words would be “an amazing journey!”

  22. Courtney Shorr says:

    Love and Laughter

  23. Sharylann says:

    It’s just right

  24. Jennafer says:

    crazy, beautiful, and fun!

  25. I so loved this post…and the idea of giving your spouse the best customer service ever! Thanks for sharing it! I’m gonna give it a try this weekend.

    • Hi, Merritt!
      I waited a few days before writing to you because I wanted to hear what you tried last weekend and how it worked out for you? Did your husband notice anything different?

      Can’t wait to hear about your experience,
      Mary Lou

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