February 24, 2012

Our Special Guest: Mary Lou Green

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Wendy - Our Special Guest Mary Lou Green - Pinterest Pic

 Woot-Woot!! Giveaway today!

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Nothing excites me more than reading helpful information I can put to use in my marriage to make it wonderful! Our guest today makes me so excited about my husband AND the love we share. By simply putting these simple tips into place in your own relationship I know how incredible it can and will be! Take the time to read this article. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about Mary Lou and her hubby, Dennis. What wonderful people and great examples! And here she is!!

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Hi!  My name is Mary Lou Green, and I am so thrilled to guest blog for the fabulous Dating Divas.  We are aligned in our mission to help couples stay in love for life one day (and one date) at a time!

Giving Your Spouse The Best Customer Service Ever

My husband Dennis and I have been married for 33 years, and we still date.  Every Friday we go to a movie in a theater and maybe dinner after the movie.  It is sacred to us, and we protect this time at all costs.  I think we have missed 24 Friday dates in all that time due to traveling, company or illness.

Our movie dates represent one of the ways we practice customer care in our marriage.  We believe in the principle of GIVE=GET.  If you give your partner what he or she wants, you will get the love in return that you desire.

Our Customer Rule is different from The Golden Rule that says to treat others as we would like to be treated.  Our Customer Rule is to treat our spouse the way he or she wants to be treated.  It’s a switch in point of view that trains our focus on our true love’s interests and desires.  We want to give each other the best customer service ever!

For example, I love flowers, so Dennis knows that if he sends me flowers, I’ll feel he is showing me that he truly loves me and is thinking about just me.  If I treated him the same way (as in Golden Rule) and sent him flowers, I know he would like the flowers because he enjoys their beauty, but it wouldn’t give him the same meaning as it does for me.

Instead, I could prove how much I appreciate him by doing what he wants (Customer Rule).  If I set aside an afternoon or evening for him to watch a basketball or football game from beginning to end without interruptions, hand him the remote, put snacks at a table by his side and sit with him to watch the game, he would hear “I love you” very clearly.

A good date can be the ultimate customer service experience.  Think about one of the best dates you and your husband ever had.  I bet it would include these components of customer service:

He planned something for you that you really enjoy

He gave you the “WOW” factor and went beyond anything you were expecting

He was fun and polite and smiled at you with his eyes and mouth

He focused on you, maintained eye contact and really listened to you with his whole being

He kept checking in with you to see that you were having a good time

He had a good time, too, and showed you he could join you in your happiness

He asked you for another date

Often in marriage, the “business side” takes over the relationship side.  We get so busy with our jobs, our kids, our families and friends, our houses and cars and hobbies, that we lose the love connection that brought us together when we were dating.  We start to take each other for granted in our pursuit of The American Dream. If we don’t give our partners what they need, they can always shop elsewhere, if only in their minds.

When we become customers of each other, we are not turning ourselves into robots that serve every whim of our partners.  We are not slaves within our marriages.  Instead of focusing on what is wrong with each other and trying to correct those things, we need to remember all the wonderful things that caused us to fall in love with one another.

Our challenge is to keep the magic going.  Here are 5 ways you can create Instant Dates every day to focus on each other, no matter what the business side of marriage has in store for you.

 

1- Give Your Radiance – Smile at your partner every time you see him or her and use your smile to say, “I’m here and ready to help.”

2- Initiate the 20-Second Hug – Grab each other and experience twenty seconds of just holding on to each other as the most important beings in the world. You don’t need to talk.  Just say, “I still do” with your eyes or your arms or the way you fold into one another.

3- Ask What can I do for you?” and figure out a way to deliver that gives added value to your service.

4- Join Me on the Couch – Set aside 10 minutes each day devoted to listening to each other with constant eye contact and no interruptions.

5- Offer Verbal Chocolate Every Day Choose your words so that you treat your partner with respect.  Demonstrate that you wish to communicate rather than annihilate.  Instead of saying, “You forgot to take out the garbage…again,” say “Honey, let me take out the garbage tonight.”

 

“The bottom line is that people are never perfect, but love can be. We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” (Tom Robbins from Still Life with Woodpecker)

A little more about me…

Dennis (my Renaissance Man) and I have been married and worked together to invent and market consumer products for the last 33 years, and we own over 50 patents, trademarks and copyrights.  To share our success with other entrepreneurs, we started a publishing company called Boulevard Press, and we wrote two books to show couples how to become indestructible:  The Marriage Story and Give Your Spouse The Best Customer Service Ever. You can learn more by visiting www.boulevardpress.com or www.DennisandMaryLou.com or by emailing me at Marylou@boulevardpress.com.

The Marriage Story became an amazon.com Best Seller when it launched December 6, 2011.  It tells about a young couple’s desire for a better life and is written entirely in verse.  Most books tell us how to love each other; this book inspires us to want to love each other.

Our next book, Give your Spouse the Best Customer Service Ever, tells how to stay in love by becoming customers of each other.  We teach ten skills that follow our Customer Rule for Couples:  “Be customers of each other to delight not fight.”

See you at the movies!

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Love that! It is such a breath of fresh air having such fun new ways to approach our marriage. This one might be one of my favorites! I challenge you all to look more into their site and the wonderful books they have to offer! Thank you Mary Lou! Now, are you ready for a giveaway??? Woo-hoo!!! Mary Lou has so kindly given me the opportunity to give to a lucky reader, a copy of The Marriage Story! Dennis and Mary Lou’s most recent book! I am stoked! This book is great!!

Log-in with your Facebook account or email below and follow the instructions. :) Ends 2/28/12 at midnight EST. Winner will be announced the following day on our Facebook Fan Page and also at the bottom of this post. Good Luck!!

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Recent Comments

193 Responses to “Our Special Guest: Mary Lou Green”

  1. Becky says:

    Each Best Friend

    • Dear Becky,
      Isn’t wonderful to live with your best friend? You don’t have to call and make a date or try to confide things over the phone! What qualities make your sweetheart your best friend?

      Monday hugs,
      Mary Lou

  2. Tricia says:

    Our marriage story: selflessly loving another. <3

    • Dear Tricia,
      Selfless actions are such a key to customer service. It’s great to have a life that balances how much time you spend together and how much “alone” time you have.

      I like this quote: Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. —Barnett R. Brickner—

      I continue to seek the wisdom and selflessness to be the right mate.

      What are three thoughts you’d share that you’ve learned help you be in the “selfless” mode? I would appreciate your insight.

      Wishing you continued success in your marriage,
      Mary Lou

  3. Sara says:

    Friends, Love, Fun

    • Dear Sara,
      Isn’t it fun to love and live with your best friend? I think fun is such a key ingredient to love. As I mentioned in my guest post, we love to go to the movies for fun. We also love to play golf together. I learned to play just so I could spend the time with Dennis.

      What is your favorite fun thing to do together?

      Smiles to you,
      Mary Lou

  4. Emily says:

    Love, happiness, Joy

  5. Stacey J. says:

    Our story: Newly wedded friends

    • Dear Stacey,
      So you are a newlywed…congratulations! I hope you will continue to feel the bliss that comes with pledging yourselves to one another, and that it forms the glue for a lifetime of love. How did the two of you meet, and how long did you date before getting married?

      Best wishes to both of you,
      Mary Lou

    • Dear Jenny,
      I love to finish each day with something positive to put good thoughts into my dreams and tomorrows. One of the best ways to stay connected is to focus on every day whether it’s treasuring how wonderful life is at the moment or just trying to keep our heads down and get through the challenges of the day. If we can manage to do that together, then we have strengthened our marriage by one more day.

      I find I have a lot more quality memories if I reflect on the day and find one smile to write down in my journal or file away in my mental file cabinet.

      Best wishes for great days,
      Mary Lou

  6. Amanda Wagy says:

    Laughter, Adventure, Comfortable

    • Dear Amanda,
      I like the word “comfortable” because it implies intimacy. Isn’t it just the best to know you can be yourself, and you’ll be loved for who you are? It’s like being in a warm bubble bath when you’re together!

      I hope you stay comfortable and in love always,
      Mary Lou

  7. Rachael Tippetts says:

    Pain, sacrifice, growth

    • Dear Rachael,
      It sounds like you have overcome struggles in your relationship and gained from those times. I hope that things are looking brighter now, and I wish you all the best in your future together.

      Wishes for long-lasting love,
      Mary Lou

  8. Becky Van Volkinburg says:

    Best friends forever

    • Dear Becky,
      What do you think your husband offers that makes him your best friend?

      For me, it’s the acceptance that Dennis gives me even when I share something with him that doesn’t show me in the best light! He always sees me accomplishing more than I think I can, and his belief propels me to achieve more. I also like the fact that he always gives me a second chance.

      Congratulations on finding each other!

      Best wishes for forever love,
      Mary Lou

  9. Melissa says:

    Live, Laugh, Love

    • Dear Melissa,
      Love those “L” words! It sounds like you make every day count. What is the one thing you count on every day in sharing life with your husband?

      Wishing you lots more of living, laughter and love,
      Mary Lou

  10. Sheila says:

    Awesome 28 yrs

    • Dear Sheila,
      Congratulations on 28 years! Sounds like you could write your own book about a successful marriage!

      What are three things that your husband has brought to your marriage that has kept you loving him all this time? What do you think you have given him that has kept him so happy?

      Wishing you a continued awesome marriage,
      Mary Lou

  11. Kristine says:

    honesty, trust, love

    • Dear Kristine,
      I think that these words fit together so well. Trust is built on honesty and together they forge a lasting love. Congratulations on your strong triangle of love.

      Wishing you a lifetime of all three of your happiness ingredients,
      Mary Lou

  12. Donna says:

    Best Friends Forever :-)

    • Dear Donna,
      Do you think you became best friends before or after you were married?

      I believed in my friendship with Dennis the more we had long talks in the car or over dinner. Meeting his friends helped me, too, because I could see what kind of friends he had and the quality of his friendships. We still have some of our best times with his friends from high school.

      Best wishes for a lifetime of loving and friendship,
      Mary Lou

  13. Rhonda says:

    Keeps getting better!

    • Dear Rhonda,
      Isn’t is so much fun to wake up and be glad that you’re still married? Every day I learn something more about why I love my husband. Today he offered to take me out for a quick bite to eat when I walked in, and he could see I was tired. He’d had a rough day, too, and it helped for us to get away and share our experiences over dinner. We came back home ready to get back to work on our projects.

      What does your husband do for you that makes each day better?

      Best wishes for sunshine days all of your marriage,
      Mary Lou

  14. Jolene Merrill says:

    Enjoy The Adventure!

    • Dear Jolene,
      Do you think you’re looking for a marriage like your parents had, or are you crafting one that is different from your parents?

      What does adventure mean to you….not knowing the future or planning special events that make each day special?

      Wishing you fun and joy as you travel along together,
      Mary Lou

  15. Mallory says:

    Service creates joy

    • Dear Mallory,
      You are so aligned with our Customer Rule! What are the special ways that you take care of your relationship? How do the two of you celebrate your joy?

      Best wishes for a lifetime of love and joy,
      Mary Lou

  16. Diana says:

    Supporting, silly, godly

    • Dear Diana,
      Supporting is such a key word in offering yourselves to each other and to the sanctity of your marriage. What are three ways that your husband supports you that causes you to feel loved and appreciated? What are three things you try and do for him to show that you support him?

      What’s the latest silly thing you did? ( I always love to hear what silly means!)

      Congratulations on your success in marriage!
      Mary Lou

  17. Katy Sudlow says:

    Unconditional love – just as He loves us, that’s how we are called to serve our spouse. With unconditional love :)

    • Dear Katy,
      Unconditional love provides such a welcome safety net under the high wire of our daily lives. One of my favorite quotes is from Mother Teresa: “Intense love does not measure, it just gives.”

      I wish you everlasting love,
      Mary Lou

  18. Alicia says:

    Commitment!

    • Dear Alicia,
      I often tease Dennis that if weren’t for our commitment, I would need to be committed! He keeps me sane, laughing, loving and achieving.

      What do you like about your commitment to each other?

      Hoping your love stays strong all life long,
      Mary Lou

  19. Faith says:

    still in love!

  20. Sunnie says:

    Keep it going.

    • Dear Sunnie,
      Our Customer Rule is designed to keep it going. So do The Dating Divas with their strengthening of marriage one date at a time. What do you do that makes it work for the two of you?

      I hope you’re going strong all life long!
      Mary Lou

  21. Lindsay says:

    New Surprises Daily!

    • Dear Lindsay,
      I love surprises! Dennis slipped a greeting card under my computer keyboard yesterday, and it really was a fun surprise when I sat down to write. Now I have to think of something to do for him. He told me to quit baking because he’s gaining weight, so I will have to come up with something non-caloric. Maybe I’ll detail his car!

      What surprise are you planning next?

      Wishing you an acre of surprises,
      Mary Lou

  22. Krista says:

    Committed, Loving, & Fun!

    • Dear Krista,
      Your three words made me think of a husband and wife on a teeter totter. As you go up and down you have fun, some thrills and you both try very hard not to give one another a rough landing.

      I hope you have lots of fun in the years ahead!
      Mary Lou

  23. Laurie Kearnes says:

    Never give up.

    • Dear Laurie,
      Your three words really hit home for me. We have practiced them so much in both our businesses and our marriage. When I was 25, I decided I would just date for the rest of my life and pursue my teaching career because I couldn’t find “Mr. Right”. Then I met Dennis and I didn’t give up on him even though it took him a lot longer to be ready for marriage than I was! After we were married and started our own business, our first product didn’t turn out so well, but we didn’t give up and eventually started writing greeting cards that made us successful.

      I’d be very interested in hearing some of your successes that resulted from not giving up!

      Here’s to your continued success!
      Mary Lou

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