March 9, 2013

Conversation Starters: A Private Affair

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“Ultimately, the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or friendship, is conversation” - Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900

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We all know that strong communication through conversation is a benefit and strength to any relationship, but let’s be honest – as very conservative Christian women, the topic of intimacy isn’t exactly the easiest conversation for us to have.  It’s not normally a topic we discuss with our BFFs, and even with our spouses, it can sometimes be awkward. With this in mind,  we are so grateful to have discovered a conversation starter called, “A Private Affair,” created by Dr. Todd Sellick and his wife Jan. This set of 500 cards provides thought-provoking and intimate questions for couples with the goal to strengthen marriages through important conversations. Many of these cards and questions deal with intimacy  and gets to the root of a relationship.

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We asked the creators of this game about the name and goals for their product and this is what they shared with us:  

“The intimation was quite intentional on our part, that couples redefine, guard and boldly strengthen their own “private affair;” something so important in a culture often quite lost and without clear vision or passion or direction for the marriage relationship.  The goal is to strengthen marriages in these bold and clear ways; reminding folk (the appropriate secrecy of a healthy marriage) that they need to consider and more fully safeguard their own “private affair.” In this phrase (again, not words we were casual about) we wished for couples to feel the excitement of their own relationship; not something mild and temperate, but something passionate and searching; always pushing forward, growing, discovering and new.”

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So, let’s talk about “A Private Affair” and how this game can be a beneficial tool in your marriage to bring you and your spouse together.  Corey Allen, PhD behind Simple Marriage said it best:  “Couples are hungry for connection, but a bit lost as to where to begin.”  We’re raising our hands {wink-wink!}.  Where to begin is the problem and this game can be a solution.

Here’s what we love most….

  • The conversation cards can be used almost anywhere and anytime. Just grab a few and go! They are designed to be used anytime you have a moment alone. Just pull one out, read the card and talk! 
  • “A Private Affair”  goes beyond just getting-to-know-you questions. The conversation starters really dive deeper into the relationship and provoke more “new” conversations than you have probably ever had.
  • Each card had a different form of conversing which provides different forms of conversations. Some cards ask you to fill in the blank, others complete a sentence, answer a question, recall a moment, discuss a quote and give your opinion.
  • Using these cards provides an opportunity to talk about possibly sensitive subjects in a safe setting. The cards stir up a conversation that otherwise may never be brought up on its own. It gives you an excuse to talk about the tough stuff.
  • These cards can be used in any marriage: from those that are struggling to those that are strong. No matter what station in life your marriage is – newlywed or empty nesters these cards and conversations will benefit your marriage.
  • Some of the cards encourage goal-setting. More than just conversing – it is important to follow up with actions. The set even includes a notebook just for documenting your goals.

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Personally – when my husband and I received “A Private Affair” card set, we figured it would be another “getting to know you” kind of activity. We were pleasantly surprised to find that the questions were completely different than anything we had ever encountered before and led to lengthly and interesting conversations. We enjoyed the flexibility of going at our pace and pulling out as many or as little cards as we liked. While many questions had to do with intimacy, there were many that focused on our relationship as a whole.

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**Our only disclaimer about this game: If you don’t like the images you see in a lingerie store window at the mall, you may not be comfortable with a few of the silhouette images in this game.  Other than that, get excited for a closer intimate relationship with your husband.  You’ll love this game and with 500 game cards, it will keep you growing closer for a long time!

If you are interested in purchasing A Private Affair – click HERE.

{We noticed that they have it listed for a sale price of $29.99, it’s regularly $34.99. We aren’t sure when they will raise it back up, so hurry and order yours now!}

For more ways to get the conversation going, check out Corie’s Hot Topics at Dinner or her questions for provoking pillow talk.

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Recent Comments

7 Responses to “Conversation Starters: A Private Affair”

  1. Heather d says:

    I am going to buy these right now! I used to have the longest, most fantastic conversations with my hubby! After ten years together, sometimes I feel like we don’t have anything new to talk about! We dated from afar for two years, and long distances mean long phone calls. We’d talk all night and it felt great! now we feel kinda boring…. We are definitely stuck in a rut now and I am excited to check this out! Thank you for sharing!

  2. JennR says:

    Thanks so much for the disclaimer! My husband would be very uncomfortable with the silhouettes, so that’s really good to know! Sounds like great ideas though!

  3. Eleasha says:

    Love the idea however are they a ligit company I ordered through them 2 weeks ago and I yet to recieve anything from them. :(

    • Sarina Sarina says:

      Eleasha –

      Sorry to hear that it has been a wait for you. The company is based in Canada so perhaps they have a longer shipping time? It certainly won’t hurt to contact the company directly to check on your order. But rest assured – it is a legit company! Tried and true by myself!

  4. Raquel says:

    Great post! I love the cards idea, its a perfect conversation starter! I was wondering why you would feel uncomfortable speaking to your husband about anything? He’s your other half! Anyway, I love your site! thanks for the tip.

    • Tara Tara says:

      Hey Raquel! Sometimes with the business of life, we get caught up in our OWN lives & forget to focus on our relationship & just having a simple conversation. A little kick-start like this may be just the key! MWAH!


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