I had a conversation with some other teachers today that rather stuck with me…and made me a little sad! It also made me think…and I thought I would share the experience as well as a few thoughts with all of you.
When asked about my weekend plans, I shared a little about the date I was planning for my husband. A few of the teachers exclaimed things like, “That sounds like so much fun!” and “He’s going to LOVE it!”
A few others mentioned that they wish they had the time or desire to plan a fun date OR they wished HE would plan a creative date. Then came the comment that stuck with me:
“Ahhhh…you’re still a newlywed! You’ll learn!”
She laughed as she said it, but I noticed that another teacher nodded in agreement. Yes, it was a joke….but they were serious. They continued on jokingly complaining about their husbands.
At first this made me sad…and then I realized I was also a little frustrated! How is it that people don’t know that you can stay in the “newlywed” phase your entire life? Or that as you continue to work on your marriage….it gets even BETTER than the newlywed phase?
I will be the first to admit that my marriage isn’t perfect….but that will be quickly followed by saying that it’s perfect for ME! Why? That’s too hard to answer in just one sentence, but I can start by saying that my husband and I work hard at our marriage and we are definitely reaping the rewards of doing so!
(photos courtesy of www.artoflivingonline.com)
I know you have all seen them – the sweet little old couples that shuffle along, still holding hands, both semi-blind and pretty darn deaf…and looking as in love as the day they were married. That’s how I want Jamie and I to be! Did those couple fight? Of course! But – they also had the desire to work things out, communicate, and then work even harder at their marriage!
I recently read an AMAZING book called, “Love As a Way of Life“. The author, Gary Chapman (who also wrote “The Five Love Languages”), described his wife in the most loving terms and then revealed his marriage secret. Everyday he would ask his wife, “What can I do for you today?” He said that at first his wife was surprised at the question…but would let him know how he could help her out. Eventually, she started asking him the same thing!
They began to take pleasure in serving one another. You can’t help but love those that you serve! They quit looking out for #1…and shifted the focus to their spouse. It worked WONDERS in their marriage and after reading that book….you can’t help but be a believer in the power of service!(P.S. I TOTALLY recommend that book!!!)
I know we are all SUPER busy! I personally don’t have any kids.…yet…..but the other gals that contribute to this blog DO! One of them is a mother of five kiddos…three being triplets! We also have other commitments – jobs, household duties, church callings, etc. That is why we started this blog…so we could slow down a little and remember to focus on the one we started it all with! You truly have to make the time!
Since starting this blog…and reading that awesome book….I have made a special effort to serve Jamie. Just last night, I knew he would be getting home late….and might want to catch up on some of our FAV recorded TV shows. I quickly popped some homemade cheesy popcorn….so he could also have his favorite treat. It took me less than ten minutes. We both laughed when he arrived home….armed with a half gallon of MY favorite treat – ice cream!
It was something SO simple…getting a treat for each other….but it made me realize how lucky I am to be married to such a guy…AND that my efforts are paying off! I think we are BOTH making a special effort to try to put the other FIRST! Two days ago – I send him a “love text” and he wrote back truly touched by my message. His message BACK to me basically put me on cloud nine for the rest of the day! Such a small thing can leave such a BIG impact! I am now going to make a special effort to leave him some kind of a CUTE love note each week….something simple…that let’s him know how much he means to me! I love that Erika just posted those love notes!
What a difference it makes to actually ENJOY your journey with the one you chose to spend the rest of your life with….instead of just ENDURING it!
Yep – I am sure hoping that I get to be one of those l’il ole grannies..who can’t hear a dang thing…and who STILL insists on holding her husband’s hand! I want to be a “newlywed” for the rest of my life.