How to Rekindle the Fire in Marriage

3 Ways to Rekindle the Fire in Marriage

I think we all remember that spark that made us fall in love with our spouse… But sometimes, after an argument or fight we can forget why we adore and care for our spouse. Or even worse, as life goes on we get busy, stressed, and overwhelmed. The spark fades and we grow further apart as time goes on. This is a real struggle that the majority of couples face at one point in their life. The Dating Divas get asked all the time… “How can I get that spark back in my marriage?”

We’re here to share a few tips for rekindling that fire, and bringing the spark back!

3 tips for getting the spark back!

The truth is, you have to work at it! Dear friends, let me share one of my all time favorite quotes:

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
– Mignon McLaughlin

Marriage means work and sacrifice, and if you want that spark, you need to fight for it! Fall in love with your spouse again and again! That’s what will keep the spark in your marriage.


We came up with 3 ways to get started on your journey toward igniting that spark and rekindling that fire! We’re starting with the basics!

#1. Forgiveness

The first step is simple. Whether you are just feeling frustrated after a fight or feeling hopeless because you have grown apart over time, the best way to get back on track is to seek forgiveness!

Learn to say I’m sorry and really mean it. The Divas have a list of 65 Ways to Say Sorry to get you started.

How to say I'm sorry in marriage.

Remember that the best apology is changed behavior! My dad always told me that marriage should be about helping each other become the best that you can be. And you can’t do that without humbling yourself enough to change! But, only let yourself change for the better.

Ask for forgiveness!

On the opposite end, you also need to be forgiving and continue to have faith in your spouse. This may be incredibly hard if the behavior is repetitive.

If you have a hard time getting to the point where you can forgive and move on, try writing your spouse a letter to get your thoughts and feelings out. In some cases, sharing the letter might be helpful and in others, the act of writing might be enough to help you gather your thoughts and move on.

If little disagreements seem to be pulling you apart on a regular basis, you need to check out this post with all the advice you’ll ever need on handling disagreements in marriage!

#2. Serve

Service is about being mindful of your spouse and recognizing their needs. Every day, find at least one thing that you can do for your spouse. This is so important! As you serve each other, your love will grow. When you serve, try to be sneaky about it! When you serve quietly, you make your spouse’s life easier without putting the spotlight on yourself. I’ve found that the more quietly I serve, the better the result because I know that I’m doing it for the right reasons.

Rekindle the fire by serving your spouse.

Something funny happens when you go out of your way to serve your spouse. They will feel more appreciated and will most likely reciprocate. As you continue to serve and build each other up, your marriage will improve and you will begin to find that spark!

Once you feel like you’ve mastered simple, quiet service, you might want to add some more intentional ways to tell your spouse you love them! If you need some ideas for little things you can do to show love to your spouse, check out this post with 100 Ways to Show Love to Your Spouse.

#3. Reconnect

Last on our list is probably the most important. Make time for each other to reconnect. Of course the most obvious way to do this is date night! Even the Divas sometimes struggle to make time for date night… Our lives are busy just like yours! My husband and I are going through an extremely busy time in our lives and we have both felt a little stress and frustration seeping in. Our tempers have been running a bit high. We finally sat down and had a little date night. It was such a simple date night, but we were able to laugh and have so much fun. After an hour of fun, letting go of the stresses that we’re both feeling, the world seemed so much brighter and our marriage was strengthened just a bit! And that my friends, is what happens when you take the time to really invest in your spouse.

Rekindle the fire with quality time.

If you need help getting started with date night, try out this Date Night Intervention. This way, you can both get on the same page and understand what the other expects to gain from date night! This is such an important step that may need to be revisited at different times in your marriage to make sure you stay on the same page.

Plan out your date nights early so that you can have something to look forward to. Or, be spontaneous. The excitement of doing something spontaneously with someone you love is sure to turn that spark into a flame!

Find that spark in your marriage

These are three simple ways to rekindle the fire in your marriage.

If, no matter what you have tried you feel like you’re giving your all and your spouse isn’t, this post 14 Ways to Deal With A One-Sided Marriage can give you some direction.

The Dating Divas love being able to give couples direction to help create a stronger marriage. If you feel that your marriage could use a little lift, we have several programs that could be a great fit for you and your spouse! Be sure to check out our Reclaim Your Marriage Program, the Marriage Masters Program, or even a membership over at Diva Central if you feel like your marriage needs revitalizing!

About the Author: Carisa

I am crazy about my husband, Scott and my FOUR cute kids! I spend my days at home--teaching, playing and cleaning up with them! Our favorite place in our home is the kitchen! I love to cook and bake with lots of flavor--and I love having my little helpers in the kitchen, too! Some of my most recent passions are tennis, nutrition, crafting, the great outdoors and photography!

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