Sensual Massage

The art of massage, and particularly sensual massage, has taken a backseat when it comes to intimacy. Many people, mostly us women, are sometimes uncomfortable giving massages to our spouses because we believe we aren’t any good at it. The truth is, any one can give an excellent massage like a pro if we would just allow ourselves to enjoy it as much as our spouse does.

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Heat Things Up with a Romantic Massage

I don’t know about you…but I LOVE the spa. I’m sort of addicted you could say. A professional massage is amazing because you are relaxed once you walk in the door knowing that you are about to get pampered.

To be honest, I would take a massage from my husband over the spa any day. There is something so sweet about a sexy massage from your spouse. So I thought it would definitely be fun to share some ideas with all of you on how to give a massage right in your own home. A sensual massage is a sure-fire way to increase the heat in your marriage! And once you’ve mastered your skills, you can do our Spa Date Night!

Setting the Mood for a Sensual Massage

Setting the mood for your sexy massage is crucial for success! Not only will this help your spouse unwind and feel comfortable. Setting up for your spouse will help you get excited!


a bed with white bedding and red rose petals

Here are a few tips to get you started:

  1. Ambiance is the key to success when giving a sensual massage. Even if you are indeed not very good at giving a massage (or so you like to think), the atmosphere is of the utmost importance. It will create an environment of relaxation and comfort which in turn will help your spouse to feel calm so they will be able to focus in on their more intimate senses…if you know what I mean…
  2. Turn your bedroom into an oasis. You can really set up shop in any room, but if you have kids and want to ensure privacy I would recommend doing so in your bedroom (wink, wink). Make sure that the room is de-cluttered and clean. It really is hard to have romance or relax when there is a disaster everywhere you look.
  3. Scatter tea light candles around the room (this creates a more flattering light for both of you), decorate with some rose petals, lay down a clean sheet or towels (using massage oils can make a mess so be prepared), and have some soft, calming music playing in the background (I prefer nature sounds or ambient noise…something along those lines). You can also use a blindfold if your spouse has a difficult time blocking out other distractions.White tub with tea light candles around the edge
  4. Draw your spouse a nice warm bath as another good way to start out the night. Let them relax while you set up for the massage. This will also help to warm up the muscles and relax them before you begin.

How to Give a Sensual Massage

Don’t let the thought of a massage make you uneasy! Anyone can give a sensual massage with the right tools. Start with the basics and learn as you go. If you take the time to give your spouse a little extra special attention, you’ll enjoy each massage more and more. Whether you are the giver or the receiver, a sensual massage can be a great way to relax, romance and connect with your spouse.

Supplies for a romantic massage like towels and candles

  1. The best way to start the sensual massage is to rub your hands together to warm them up. No one likes cold hands for a massage…brr! Warm the oil in your hands before putting it on your spouse, or take a tip from the spas and immerse the bottle in a bowl of warm water. I highly recommend Bath & Body Works Stress Relief Massage Oil from their Aromatherapy line…it’s Eucalyptus Spearmint and it’s wonderful! I also have a small travel candle in the same scent that I will light and put close so he’s breathing in the relaxing, calming aroma. Another great option is the Kama Sutra massage oil line…it’s edible :).
  2. Start out with a light touch; your objective is to arouse, not to bruise. Start with some long strokes with no oil down from the head to the toes. Touch very lightly so you are just touching the hairs of the body. You can try using fur or feathers to start the massage. Get your own feather duster from Amazon HERE.
  3. Next, place some oil on your hands and massage the back with long, easy strokes. You can position yourself behind their head and stroke down the back near the spin and back up the sides. I like to use a Heart Warming Massager at the beginning. It’s a heated massage pad that is perfect for relieving muscle tension, reducing stress, and soothing your aches…and it’s reusable. You can get one of these from Amazon HERE.Mans shoulders getting a sensual massage
  4. Start slowly and then once the muscles have warmed up and are relaxed increase the pressure. Next, knead the muscles around your spouse’s shoulders and neck using your thumb and forefingers. Most of us hold a lot of tension in our neck and shoulders (I personally collect a plethora of knots in between my shoulder blades…so this is the main area my husband massages for me). Keep in mind that you want to follow the flow of the muscles, not against them. Pay attention to what pressure points your spouse is responding to.
  5. Massage everywhere. You can massage the wrists, fingers, ears, the back of the neck, and the insides of the elbows and knees…these areas are probably rarely given any attention. Rub your fingers over your spouse’s scalp, massage and rub every finger and every toe until your spouse is fully relaxed. Feel free to rub, kiss, lick, and even nibble on these neglected regions. Your spouse will feel appreciated by your attention to detail…{WINK} If you have a problem with your hands tiring too quickly, give a sensual massage using your body. Your hands aren’t your only tools; you can make good use of your oiled arms, chest and stomach.
  6. As with most things…never, ever expect a massage in return. Your spouse may be so relaxed after getting one from you that they are unable to reciprocate immediately after you finish. That doesn’t mean they won’t reciprocate your loving affection later on.

Bonus Tips for a Sexy Massage

For women: Appropriate attire for you to wear? Try a silk chemise. Your husband will LOVE to have that silkiness glide across his skin while you are massaging his back muscles. Anything but those grubby sweats that you’ve been lounging around in all evening will work perfectly. Remember…this is a sensual massage.

For men: Women like to be touched…especially by their significant other. 🙂 It is comforting and stimulating at the same time. You want to relax her and to calm her – so don’t press too hard. Be alert to her body’s responses to you and you can’t go wrong.

If you would like to incorporate more ideas into your evening of relaxation, try our Relaxing Date Night for Two or if you know you’ll be ready to have some fun after your time relaxing, try any of our Sexy Bedroom Games!

About the Author: Kari

I am a very outgoing person that loves spending time with my family and friends. I have a thirst for knowledge, I am completely at home in the kitchen, and my biggest passion in life is snow skiing. I've been married to my sweetheart for 15 years and we have 3 children. I also love to travel!

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36 Responses to Sensual Massage

  1. I’m seeking to rev things up in the bedroom and get my husband engine boiling not put him to bed (he works 60 hour weeks and always tired) what kind of massage can do that? desperately seeking advice

    1. Hi Gail! This type of massage will also work, you’ll just want to alter it for your husband. I would start with the shoulders/neck area and between the shoulder blades. Have him sitting up, rather than laying down. This is where most of us carry our stress. I would also focus on the scalp, hands and feet (Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet), just because these won’t put him to sleep but also feel amazing! I would look into using an orange scented massage oil as this scent usually helps to awaken and invigorate. While this book isn’t about sensual massage, it can give you great ideas for energizing your husband through touch.

  2. I’m so glad I found this! Have someone really special that needs to learn to relax and let the world go.. I’m thinking this might just be what gets him there! Thank you for sharing this.. u might be changing lives and not really realizing it!!

  3. We’re having 1 night away my plan is, a nice swim, spa, sauna back to the room for me to give the wife a full massage using coconut oil.
    I’ll report back in a few days 🙂

  4. Do you have any decent books that you would recommend on sensual massage. Many on amazon have pornagraphic pictures in them… I would love to read a book on this , but would like to steer clear of real pictures of couples

  5. Wow! So excited reading all the comments and knowing I am on the right track. My perfect wife reserved a 4 day stay in a cabin on a mountain creek after a severely difficult/stressful month at work for me. The irony is the dates happen to correspond with her birthday. So I’ve hidden candles, massage lotion, notecards for love notes etc. in a bag we are taking. I plan to give her a long sensual massage on the morning of her birthday. I think I have a clue about giving a massage but the information from you and the other responders gives me great ideas and in retrospect validates some of my plan. Thank you everyone for the advice and wish me luck!

    1. Brian, your wife is absolutely going to love that! You are so thoughtful and what a perfect time for a much needed getaway for the two of you. So glad you were able to find some helpful ideas/advice on here. Best of luck and hope you have a wonderful and relaxing getaway!

  6. DEZI!
    I absolutely love it! You know your husband’s love language and I admire you for that! If everybody read that book before getting married, I believe our divorce rate would be far less than it is now. Either couples would figure out they aren’t compatible or better yet they would know what it is that their partner needs from them and if willing to speak one another’s love language, marriages would last.

    Kudos to you and yours?


    1. Crystal! Thank you for your sweet comment! It’s SO true, knowing your spouse’s love language changes everything! Haha! I remember stumbling through the first few years of marriage trying all sorts of things (felt like throwing cooked spaghetti at a wall and just hoping something stuck!)… had I only known what really resonated with my husband would’ve saved me a lot of time and frustration. But I swear, that these massages are always a win with him. Wish you all best, thanks for visiting!

  7. Thank you so much. I loved the ideas you gave, without all the crass sensual stuff that is better left unread. Ready to surprise my hubby. Thanks again

  8. I’m a licensed massage therapist and umm that was really good advice you gave. Couldn’t have worded it better myself for my clients who ask for advice. ??

  9. Mu hubby gave me a sensual message one time very romantic but man the message was soo good it put me to sleep missing out on the “finale” Lol think I’ll be the one giving the message this time! Thanks for the great advice!!