Fighting for Your Marriage


Please check our Facebook Fan Page to see who the winner is!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Even when your love feels like heaven, you still have to learn to live together on earth.

The current projection is that among young couples marrying for the first time today, about 40 to 50 percent of them will eventually divorce. Aside from those who divorce, many other couples wind up staying together through many years of unhappiness.

-Fighting for Your Marriage

That above statement was one that caught my attention in this book! In today’s society so many people who marry turn around and end it like it was no big deal. (Look at most of the celebrities out there!) Is marriage not worth fighting for? Well, obviously WE think it is! Fighting for Your Marriage has incredible tools for assisting all types of marriages, not just those in trouble. Our marriage is not on the rocks, but I definitely found some great techniques to apply to solidify our relationship even more.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. To learn more about ’em, click here.

The goal of this book is to help you achieve a fulfilling, lasting, happy and healthy marriage. It teaches you ways that you can act on your desire to build and sustain a great relationship. ย The beginning starts with the 5 keys for a great relationship:

  1. Decide don’t slide
  2. Do your part
  3. Make it safe to connect
  4. Open the doors to positive connections
  5. Nurture your commitment.

The authors then break down 3 parts of strengthening your marriage – Teaming up to handle conflict, enjoying each other, and staying the course. It gives great information and examples, provides effective tools for handling disagreements, and advice that you can apply right away. I love the quizzes, questions to answer and exercises – so much to do together.

The book teaches you how to improve your listening skills with the speaker-listener technique, the “speaker” feels such comfort in knowing that the other person has truly heard what he or she is trying to communicate. This is achieved by having the “listener” repeat back what the “speaker” has said without any judgement or defensiveness (this is KEY). The listener can find comfort in knowing that THEIR turn will come next, when they can then express their thoughts and feelings and even respond to the other person’s original comments. There are certain “below the belt” comments that are prohibited, which lend a feeling of safety, so that one is not afraid to bring up volatile subjects.

One tip that hit home for me was how EASY it is to focus on your partner as the source of the problem. Of course they have SOME role to a degree, however, you have a LOT of control over what YOU can do to help the relationship. For example, during a conflict maybe you see your spouse as acting unfairly. This may make you feel relieved of the responsibility to be the best partner you can be. But the authors remark that YOU need to hold up your end of the relationship even when you think your partner isn’t doing his or her share.

If you are looking to improve andย strengthenย your marriage, pick this one up! Such a great resource for anyone looking to work on communication or a struggling relationship.

Grab your OWN Copy of this book!

This book is so greatย that we want our readers to be able to benefit as well!ย  We are doing a giveaway to one of our readers so you all have a chance to benefit from this AMAZING book like we did!

So, which one of YOU wants to Fight for Your Marriage & WIN a copy of this book?

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Wanna Enter THIS Giveaway?

{Must be a “Dating Divas” newsletter subscriber to be eligible to enter… right-hand corner of website.}

There are FOUR different ways you can be entered…you can do ALL of them to have FOUR entries or just one – BUT make sure EACH one is typed in a separate comment!

#1 – By following The Dating Divas on TWITTER.

#2 – By becoming a FAN of ย The Dating Divas Facebook Fan Page.

#3 – By sharing one of your successful marriage secrets with us.

#4 – By spreading the word about this giveaway via email, blog post, Facebook, or Twitter {Please re-post yourย actualย โ€Shout-Outโ€ that you sent to all your friends in your comment below & let us know which networking method above you used. ย A link-back to that post/tweet/etc. ย if possible, would also be great!}

The giveaway will end NEXT Friday, February 24th at 11:00 PST. We will announce the winner on Saturday, February 25th on our Facebook Page โ€“ so donโ€™t forget to check back to see if the winner is YOU!!ย  Open only to those living in the U.S.ย  SO sorry!!

About the Author: Erika

I married the love of my life and enjoy being with him and our son. We love to try new things - traveling, food, games, and everything in between.

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533 Responses to Fighting for Your Marriage

    1. I follow you on facebook… I am currently separated. we both deeply love each other still. I pray every day he finds his way back to me. We have been together 23 yrs. married for almost 20.

  1. A marriage secret…start early doing the things you want to do forever in your marriage. For example, we don’t have children yet but we “date” at least once a week so that when we do have children, this is already a habit.

  2. My go-to advice: Assume Love. If you feel hurt/annoyed/etc at something your spouse has done, assume love when trying to understand why they did it instead of assuming it was intentionally hurtful.

    1. My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years and he left me about 8 months ago and I found out he was seeing another woman. We have 3 children and at first I was so angry and wanted revenge and then I asked myself, “what good will that do for me and the kids??” I prayed A LOT and I got into a program called Marriage Fitness (I found it by googling, marriage help). I then decided that this was MY husband and the father to MY kids and I refused to give up!! I always thought that if my spouse were ever unfaithful that it would definitely be OVER because I would NEVER look at him the same. Well surprisingly what happened was the opposite! As I continued to pray and do little things for him, like give gifts and call or text him through the day, my heart started to fill up with more love then I have ever had for this man. I questioned god everyday what I should do and I truly felt in my heart I should not give up on him. Well on Dec. 20th I started dating my spouse again and he left the other woman and New Years Day he moved back home. We go to weekly counseling and we are VERY open and honest with one another. In fact, our communication has NEVER been better!!! I truly believe that communication is KEY no matter what the other person is feeling or thinking we need to be able to share it with one another and have an open mind and heart and listen to the others words. I use this site daily for inspiration and great date and gift ideas and my husband and I are truly starting to connect with one another, that is something we never had before. Sometimes god gives us these obsticles so that we can better ourselves and see what WE ourselves need to change! Sorry this was so long but felt I really needed to share my story. Thanks!

  3. Already follow on FaceBook! Love this site, so much information and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to send an I LOVE YOU MESSAGE to my husband…creative!(when sometimes I am just to busy to be so…)

  4. My one big tip that has gotten my husband and I through being seperated for a year and since getting back together adding 3 more beautiful children. (for a total of 6 wonderful blessings) is to laugh….Even when life seems possible you need to find (dig, scour) the bit of humor…and we communicate….a lot…okay I communicate a lot and he thinks I am crazy because I bounce around. But we balance one another…he knows I ramble and lets me, I know he broads and TRY to let him, but only for so long, then he does need to talk…and we laugh, at the kids, the bat in the house, my fear of birds, the fact that i am “ALWAYS” right, (hehe)…and of course their is our relationship with God and our desire to raise our children to love and serve…

  5. Our marriage secret is that we never quit trying, no matter what. Even when things get really hard and we are really mad at each other, we both just take a step back and plunge right back in. I think that as long as both parties are willing to really try, you will always have a successful marriage. It is when you stop caring enough to try that you know that you are in trouble. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. I follow on facebook and twitter. I shared on facebook and twitter with my friends. My husband and I have a very open and honest relationship. We allow open communication anytime something is bothering us, hurting us, making us happy. We have started having a weekly date night that has really helped us bond more. We constantly remind each other that we are \Team T’s\ aka Team Thomas and Traci, not \Thomas vs. Traci.\ We are still young and learn constantly things that better and worsen our relationship. It is a work in progress and a daily dying to myself.

  7. My husband and I always remember that we have the utmost respect for one another. If that is always in our minds then it helps us stay level-headed even when in disagreement. It ensure that no unkind words are said and that we will keep an open mind to what the other person is saying.

  8. i shared your link on facebook(using the one you posted) i said “entering this giveaway, you should too! then check out the site, its a good one” ( dont know how to drect link)

  9. The Dating Divas are at it again! Check out their new giveaway!! I LOVE this blog… they have the best ideas and amazing giveaways ALL THE TIME!!!! Go like their page and enter to win! —Posted via FB ๐Ÿ˜€

  10. I think one of the best marriage tips would be to take time out of a busy day to think about your spouse: their wants, needs, dreams. It might be as simple as making your husbands favorite dinner that night, or picking up his favorite snack at the end of a long day. Little things make a big difference.

  11. Our marriage secret is to never go to bed angry. If you don’t talk out what is wrong and why you are upset with each other, you fall asleep angry and wake up in a bad mood. But when you talk things through, no matter how long it takes, it makes a world of a difference! And you will have a happy morning! ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Hmm successful marriage secrets… You only live ONCE so don’t be stubborn! Always put your spouse first & all else will follow! NEVER think that giving up is an option! If you really love each other, you can work through ANYTHING. “I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.”

  13. My secret to a healthy marriage – learn when to compromise. I love being “right”, but sometimes my hubby really does know what’s best more than I do.

  14. Marriage Secret:
    Keep at it! Example: we have been married for 5 years. It has taken us 5 years to figure out how to discuss money and manage our money together. Now we are heading into year 6 and we are finally on the same page when it comes to our finances. We no longer argue over how money is spent etc. It took us a long time to figure out a solution that was pleasing to us both. Sometimes an issue in a marriage takes more then a few months to resolve. But if your spouse is worth it the time and energy spent on creating a solution is worth it too!

  15. I know a lot of people say ‘dont go to bed angry\ but that’s the one thing that we do. We dont sleep in separate rooms or anything, and we figured out that we need to chill out overnight and talk first thing in the morning. Its worked for us almost 10 years! Im prepared to get flamed for this one! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  16. After a rough period about a year ago where it didn’t look like we would make it to year 3 of marriage, We have been together for 11 years and have 9 year old twin girls, I realized that although my husband doesn’t say it he wants to be shown more that I love him, dig him, find him sexy. It is still a work in process as I am shy and afraid of looking dumb but I am slowly coming out of my shell and things have been so much better. It is amazing it took figuring out his love language and work but it is so worth it.

  17. Marriage Secret- You have to communicate!! If you don’t communicate with each other, it’s going to cause all sorts of problems and your marriage will never last. Growing up, my parents never communicated, and they got divorced just a couple of years ago. So when I got married, I told my husband that no matter what, we need to communicate, even with the little things. And I know that it has helped our marriage remain strong.

  18. My husband and I have a wonderful and secure relationship. I think it is because we are both committed to it and do not take it for granted. We try to date and talk. We do nice things for each other. We are always (especially him) thinking of each other. We believe that marriage is sacred and tht we will be together forever- but only if we work at it.

  19. Just leaving our secrets here on your comments page.
    Our 31 years of marriage has not always been blissful, but it has been filled with the following,
    Respect for the others needs (what ever they may be) in spite of the fact that you think otherwise.
    Acceptance for who the other is (I cannot or will not change my husband) I fell in love with him just the way he is so I will not try to fix, change, force or yell him into someone else.
    We do not dictate to each other.
    I find that because we were married right out of high school that he and I have gone through changes in our mentality, views and needs and we allow each other the time to grow and change but at the same time asking the person changing to give us a chance to adapt to the change that they are going through. When your significant other changes then it changes the dynamics of your relationship and now there are new rules and you have to be on the same page to know what those rules are!
    And last of all you need to show unconditional love in spite of the fact of…………what ever it is.
    We all need love and the last place that you should with draw love is from your partner, if there is a problem calmly voice it and work through it. Remember you two are sharing life not dominating it!

  20. I’m a fan on FB!

    A secret that has really helped our marriage is to not live around family during the first couple years of our marriage. We moved across country for school a month after we got married and it has been amazing! It really helps us depend on each other, communicate with each other and resolve things together instead of running over to mom’s house and crying it out with her.

  21.!/courtneycloe I just tweeted about you on Twitter and started following you. I love your site and have used so many of the ideas. The funny thing is, my husband actually asked me to stop doing so many things for him, because he felt like he was not able to do so much back! I assured him, I didn’t do it to get something back, only to show him how much I love him!
    Thanks for all you do

  22. My husband and I take time to have one on one time. We live with my husbands parents. Then his two sisters with children and boyfriend moved in, so there is NO time alone at home. Usually someone calls or texts us while we are out, so we try to make an extra effort to just focus on each other. It has become an essential part of our marriage.

  23. coming up on 20 years, there is no secret – just… work, patience, respect, forgiveness, passion… and when you find you’re short on one of those… PRAYER!

    lather, rinse and repeat!

  24. One of my secrets for a happy marriage is to try to listen to what my husband MEANS instead of what he SAYS so that I don’t get mad over something silly that he didn’t mean.

  25. A marriage tip that’s been great for us is we don’t go to bed angry. Even if it means tears and long conversations into the night, we resolve our conflicts before going to sleep. It’s great! ๐Ÿ™‚

  26. Marriage Secret: We are still working on it, but one of the things we have been learning is not only communication, but calm communication. It doesn’t do anyone any good to whine and bully your way through a fight.

  27. success tip?? making an effort to take part in each others activities. Remember to ask each other to join in and not just assume that the other wouldn’t want to go. and saying YES to the invitation.

    2nd entry!

  28. One tip that has really hit me this year is perseverance. Making the commitment that NO MATTER WHAT you aren’t giving up, running away, or stop trying.

  29. Our marraige secret is to give each other a “six second” kiss when we get home from work. It really helps to stop what you are doing and enjoy each other for a few seconds.

  30. The marriage tip we seem to give out most often is about dating, go figure! We have regular date nights, yay! Everyone always asks how I get my hubby to do it, and it was simple: I wrote it on our calendar & on his google caledar on his phone. The original plan was i get childcare & he makes date plans, but lately we’ve been in a do-the-same-thing rut. So, sooooo looking forward to exploring this site ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. One of my marriage tips is to tell my husband often how much I love and appreciate him. Men want to feel loved and appreciated (just like women) and they need to be told. It means a lot.

  32. My secret for a good marriage is to have discussions with both ears listening rather than negotiations that are one-sided. There are almost always compromises to be made, yet it helps when everyone wins or trades for something they’re passionate about. The power of touch or a knowing glance help make the day smoother since we all crave attention from those who know us best. It also is very grown up to let the other person speak for themself.

  33. A marriage secret for us to laugh together. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day and not find time to have fun. So we always try to find time to laugh & have fun!

  34. I am a fan on facebook. Right now I am fighting for my marriage. My husband and I separated for 16 months and recently decided to fight for our marriage. Neither of us really wanted to throw away 27 years, so now trying to rebuild it.

  35. Our marriage secret is to remember to have fun with each other and keep the friendship you once had!! So many married couples forget that you were friends first so have fun with each other!! We just had our first child and somehow we lost that connection. The laughter and fun turned to stress and sleepless nights due to a new baby so now we are trying to rekindle what we had by going out on one monthly date just the two of us and having fun like we use to and then one family date with our baby girl to have fun as a family! <3

  36. A marriage secret for us is that we periodically will write letters to each other in a journal and hide it around the house for the other to find. We really look forward to finding it unexpectedly and enjoying the love shared between the pages. My husband is military, so we also hide it in packages that we send when he’s deployed and it’s so much better to recieve the hand written letter than any email. (Although an email when he’s gone is still awesome!)

  37. I’m a fan on facebook and I shared this link with my facebook friends! This is what I wrote…

    “I LOVE the Dating Divas! What a wonderful source! I’m SO glad I found them!!! :):

  38. My successful marriage secret:

    Don’t every assume anything! This can get you into big trouble, especially when it involves thoughts and feelings. If you are not sure what your spouse it thinking, or what he or she meant on a particular comment, just ask. Be honest, open, and calm, and just ask what they meant. I have made this mistake and have learned my lesson! When you assume things, it just leaves the door open for misunderstanding and miscommunication. ๐Ÿ™‚

  39. One of my secrets to my 15 year successful marriage is forgiveness. Be quick to say I’m sorry…and even quicker to say “I forgive you”. Love my cute husband!

  40. A relationship secret – Daily say aloud the reasons you are thankful for your partner. When times get tough, it’s a lot harder to distance yourself from someone who appreciates you and/or you have been so appreciative of!

  41. My marriage IS worth fighting for. Every month on our anniversay, my husband and I re-read and re-state bthe vows, or pomises that we wrote for our wedding day. We havent been married very long, but its a greatreminder.

  42. Ops my name was misspelled on the last comment… But… I’m a fan on facebook and twitter and have told ladies at my work and bible studies about your website and how great it is.

  43. Successful marriage tip: be intentional and live out James 1:19 ” be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” above all else keep God first in your lives and in your marriage!

  44. One little marriage secrete is that we don’t do Facebook. Everyone we know that does Facebook gets into with their spouse all the time about ex’s and people that they talk to on it so we just decided that it wasn’t for us.

  45. My marriage secret is… back rubs! I know that sounds silly but every single night before we go to bed, we let go of whatever happened during the day. We lay face to face and drape our arms over each other’s backs and serve each other with a wonderful back rub. We fall asleep just like that every night!

  46. “My marriage IS worth fighting for!”
    We have rituals, lots… Good night kisses, we always brush our teeth together, holding hands when walking, kisses when we leave the house, etc

  47. Good Morning Divas,
    As we approach our 28th Anniversary on March 19th, I look back and realize that holding hands, kissing, TOUCHING (which just happens to be my hubby’s love language) is what keeps the spark in our marriage. After a long day at work, it’s nice to sit down just the two of us, and ask honey how was your day today? Followed by the same question to me. hug, kiss etc… I love this 1 hour just me and Joe everyday! Fighting for Our Marriage is awesome!
    Love y’all and I’m a twitter and FB fan as well!

  48. Marriage Secret: Always make sure your spouse knows how much you love and appreciate them. It’s always especially nice to know specific things and not just saying “I appreciate you” Gives reasons WHY you appreciate them or love them. My husband has saved almost every random note I have ever written him saying why I love/appreciate him and he looks at them occaionally when we are working a lot or don’t get to spend a lot of time together as little reminders. =)

  49. Shout Out: I sent the following email to my best friend, Stephanie, because I thought this blog and book were right up her alley. =)

    Hey I follow this blog and I LOVE it. They have a bunch of great blogs and ideas about dates and other things for your marriage. They are currently having a giveaway for a book and how to strengthen your marriage and I’ve entered. Thought you might be interested in the book and blog too. Here’s the link:

  50. I wish I could share a successful marriage tip, but my husband and I are in a dark place right now. We are trying to not give up. In searching for help, I found this site. I am hoping we will get back on the right track and soon we will be back on track.

  51. I love leaving notes for him to find when I’m not there. He later tells me when he reads them he’s always like , \awww\ because he loves knowing how much I care !!

  52. I have been married for just shy of 10 years. It may sound like a broken record but it’s all about communication!! You ladies are awesome!! You come up with so many great ideas, keep them coming!!

  53. My husband and I have different work schedules, so we don’t see each other that much during the day. To keep us connected, we always talk on the phone during our breaks at work.

  54. A few of the best tips I have that have worked in our marriage:

    *Take time to pray together
    *Regular Date Nights
    *Small Surprise gifts
    *Love Notes
    *Regular time together to catchup everyday
    *Spend time having fun doing things each spouse loves
    *Finding ways that say “I Love you”

    Thanks for the giveaway! ๐Ÿ™‚

  55. My marriage IS worth fighting for and I have. We’ve learned that Facebook is not always great for marriages and since learning this we have really grown and strengthened our marriage!

  56. i’ve only been married two months, but the best thing that has made our marriage work so far is TALKING. even if we don’t feel like it. that and understanding that men and women and two VERY different people

  57. Our successful marriage secret is to do the “ordinary” stuff together…cook, clean, run errands! We’ve also really enjoyed teaching a class together. It helps us to remember that we are a team, and we can help others enhance their marriage with our example.

  58. This can be hard to do sometimes (especially for me having a rough pregnancy and a toddler to care for during the day) but when my hubby comes home I try to welcome him home with a smile/hug/kiss. I try to remember to ask how his day was and let him know somehow that I appreciate the hard work he does to provide for us. When I do this, it starts the evening off in the right mood. If I don’t and bombard him with complaints about my day, the mood is somber for the rest of the evening while my poor husband tries to figure out what to say to make me happy rather than just having honest communication with one another. Don’t know if that makes sense, but there you have it!

  59. I follow on Facebook…

    My successful marriage secret… we pray together! Every night we bow down and pray… if we argued that day it really helps us to let it go and forgive eachother too!

  60. My marriage IS worth fighting for!

    I have liked you on Facebook and continuously tell my friends about your site and your creative and wonderful ideas! I’m still a newlywed, and with all your fun ideas to keep my marriage fresh, I hope we will always have that newlywed love and adoration for each other! I try to find a readon to fall in love again with my husband every day!

  61. My marriage secret would be to remember that you were a wife first and will be a wife after your kids are grown and gone with lives of their own. Don’t become so wrapped up in the family as a whole that you forget the couple you began with.

  62. My marriage is worth fighting for ๐Ÿ™‚

    A marriage secret that I learned from someone else is to schedule date nights and not let anything else take those nights away, no matter how good something else sounds. We schedule them in January through June and then do it again in June through December. And we try to do them every 2 weeks–one at home date (since we have 2 little ones) and one out of the house date a month. We take turns planning each month too.

  63. Your marriage is NOT your parents’ marriage or their successes or failures. It’s your opportunity to build up or tear down a relationship over a lifetime. Don’t look back at what you might have left behind but turn to what’s before you, using your love and faith to guide your marriage toward the future. Love is ever changing and growing, if you have the patience to evolve with it.

  64. Been following your website for a few years now, Love it!!! Now am also a FB fan!! I desperately need this book!!! My marriage is SO worth fighting for! In fact, I have been fighting for 2-3 years now to prove that to my husband. Never going to quit fighting! Thanks for this chance!

  65. My marriage IS worth fighting for! and that’s exactly what we are doing right now. after being separated for 2 years, we are starting over, taking it day by day. your prayers are appreciated!

  66. One way I keep my marriae strong is by finding little acts of service I can do for him. I try not to think of things as chores but instead, I think of things that not fun to do as ways to show I love him. Then the tasks are easier and my mood is much improved

  67. My husband and I both have pretty crazy schedules between work and school. To make sure we keep communicating, we make it a point to text or call each other when we get a chance throughout the day. Even if it is just a quick, I love you, it helps us feel a little closer when we are not spending as much time together.

  68. -My Marriage is Worth Fighting for!
    -I am a fan on Facebook
    -and my Marriage secret thus far is always trying to recognize when something means more to my husband than it does to me and then allowing things to go his way.

  69. my Marriage secret thus far is always trying to recognize when something means more to my husband than it does to me and then allowing things to go his way.

  70. My marriage is worth fighting for! Thank you SO MUCH Dating Divas for giving us extra resources to make that happen! Just last week, my hubby and I used two of your ideas! (The game and treat, and the “sleepover” in the living room!! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

  71. Marriage is definitly worth fighting for, especially these days when it is so easy to give up! I love all your advice and marriage ideas and tips! Thanks! (P.S. i am a fan on facebook too!)

  72. My marriage is totally worth fighting for, and I will fight, even if I don’t win this contest!
    I’m a fan on facebook, and I shared the link on facebook.
    Another marriage secret… just follow the Golden Rule. Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated, (respect, kindness, honesty, friendship, loyalty, etc). You just can’t go wrong with this. I think it pretty much covers everything! ๐Ÿ™‚

  73. I think the key to a successful marriage is open, honest, and non-judgmental communication. You have to be willing to really listen to what your partner is saying. It may not always be easy but by keeping those lines of communication open, you are letting them know that you are always there for them (do the same thing with my children!).

  74. One of the best marriage secrets we were told was to always think of your spouse’s self esteem before your own. It is a challenge, especially in group settings when you just want a laugh, but we have found it to be really beneficial in our marriage!

  75. One Marriage secret I can share is : My husband and I have been on the rocks before and one MAJOR thing I learned that helped our marriage so much was that One negative thought about my husband- even if I don’t say it aloud- affects our relationship negatively and can even create him to act defensively and not know why- he would pick up on my negative energy about him.
    Now, everytime I have a negative thought- I counter it with two or three positive ones. And he does the same for me.
    I would love to win, thanks
    Married 7 years- with 5 kids
    Rebecca L.

  76. My marriage secret is that I ALWAYS do my best to commend my husband for the things he does…in every little way possible…even if it’s for a wonderful meal he made…or for doing the dishes…or for being a great father to our daughter! Positive vibes around the house make for positive moments….


  77. Although it is not always easy (because as my hubster describes it ” I have constipation of the mouth”), communication has been key in our marriage. I have learned, the hard way, that my husband will not always know what I am feeling, I can’t expect him to figure me out at all times. He is amazing and very patient with my constant battle of communicating what I am feeling better. I can honestly say that communicating is the best way to keep a marriage strong.

  78. I have been married for 26 years and it’s always a work in progress. The thing to remember is to always keep that new exciting love alive that was felt at the beginning of your love affair! This can be done by always being thoughtful to your spouse, consider their feelings before making decisions, and leave them love notes and fun surprises around the house or in their car, or lunch box! One fun thing my husband and I do, is we have a small note book on the kitchen counter and we leave eachother little love notes in it, as we feel like it (sometimes every day!). You’d be surprised how creative your husband will sometimes get with his love notes. We do not allow anything negative to be written in the book. I am always open to suggestions and ideas in regard to keeping my marriage fresh, new and fun!

  79. I am following you on twitter, facebook, and shared the status with my facebook… and some marriage tidbits (see my blog for lots) but number one… be your husbands biggest cheerleader. So he only looks to you, and no other women to bring him up when he is down!

  80. Successful Marriage Tip: Every year to celebrate our anniversary my husband and I write a poem to each other. We print them on paper with a design of our choice and keep them in plastic sleeves in a binder. We include memories from the year and things we appreciate about each other. We both keep a running list on our phones of places we go, things we do and trials we experience through the years so we can use it to write our poem. We just celebrated our 10th anniversary and it was a really cool experience to read through the past 10 years of poems from each or our perspectives.

  81. Successful marriage tip:

    If it’s not sin, I can’t demand change.

    My husband and I are very different people. I can’t make him do things my way and vice versa. I work everyday to submit to my husband and let him lead our home as instructed in the Bible. This tidbit has worked wonders in our marriage!

  82. Marriage Tip: The grass may seem greener on the other side, but you will have problems with any relationship… so 1. fight for your marriage…don’t let our culture trick you into thinking your marriage is a McDonald’s drive thru ( easy to get in and out) and 2. Forgive, forgive, forgive.

  83. “This site is pretty cool and gives tools to enhance your marriage often! Check it out!”

    Fighting for Your Marriage | The Dating Divas
    Fighting for Your Marriage is a great go-to reference for couples that want to enhance their marriage and prevent divorce. Today we are reviewing it and giving away one copy to our readers!

    via my FB page.

  84. I just became a subscriber, I “like” you all on facebook, and I shared the link to this giveaway on my blog’s facebook page ( One of our successful marriage secrets is that we make it a point to get away together once a year (usually on our anniversary). We leave our kiddos with a sitter and search out Bed and Breakfasts around us. It’s such a fun tradition! Sometimes we can’t afford a babysitter AND a night at a bed and breakfast, so we pack up our camping gear and head out! This year is definitely a camping year, haha. ๐Ÿ™‚

  85. I don’t think we have a secret, but I have a secret – it’s being married to a man, that will not give you a divorce, when you ask for one for silly things.

  86. My secret is…effort. It takes effort in a relationship. You have to keep it going, work to stay close, find things your enjoy together and TALK. I’ll admit there are some things I enjoy working on more than others ๐Ÿ˜‰ but it is all worth it. I feel like I am making deposits into an account that carries a high interest rate and will return big dividends if I consistently watch it.

  87. I’ve only been married for 2 1/2 years, but one thing that makes my marriage successful is I always apologize after an argument, whether I think I was wrong or not. If I genuinely don’t think my actions warrant an apology I apologize for how it made him feel. He needs to know he’s important, and his feelings mean more than my pride.

  88. Successful marriage tip? I suppose remembering that my husband is God’s gift to me and that I am my husband’s gift from God. Then remembering that our marriage is a covenant agreement among the three of us. Oh, and love, laughter and friendship. ๐Ÿ™‚

  89. My recent most helpful idea is to always “believe the best.” “Love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things….” (1 Corinthians 13), and if we believe our spouse meant the best, we’ll usually be right, and we’ll usually avoid a fight. ๐Ÿ™‚

  90. Our happy marriage “secret” is nightly “dates.” Atleast 4 nights a week, we put our kids to bed and have an at home date night. We make sure we spend the whole night together, eating some sort of ice cream treat, watching tv or reading together and talking. It’s a great way for us to reconnect after a busy day or week.

  91. And my marriage secret… don’t have expectations. It sounds funny but I wish someone would have told me when I was first married to not have this grandeous expectations thinking my marriage should be like what’s on TV and the movies.

  92. Advice: put your spouse above all others, make time to keep common interests and learn about each other. Even when you have children and it seems hard to spare time, because when everyone else is grown or moved on its still you and your spouse

  93. Marriage secret: One we’ve finally learned is not to over share information with extended family. My husband comes from a tight knit family and he at the beginning would tell them everything and made me feel uncomfortable around his family.

    Another important one is being open and honest with finances with one another and budgeting TOGETHER.

  94. Successful Marriage Secret isn’t really a secret- be each others best friend!! Communicate, date, have fun like tickle fights or play games, talk, pray together, listen, do little romantic surprises for each other! My husband one day put stickies all over our house with i love you written in tons of different languages and on my bed at the end he wrote on a note that no matter how you say it- i love you (or something like that). Love my honey!!

  95. I follow you on FB!

    I shared the link on FB: (I am not sure if this is what you were talking about with sharing the link of our shout out, but I tried!) haha

    Our marriage secret is to make each other a priority! We spend every Wednesday together….our kids are old enough that they are all in school, so that is our day to sleep in, have a nice breakfast together and just focus on each other. Sometimes we have to run errands or other things, but we always do them TOGETHER!!!!! We also spend time talking with each other before we go to sleep….it’s become such a habit now after 1.5 years of doing these two simple things! Wednesday is my FAVORITE day of the week! ๐Ÿ˜€ We have been married for 19 years and this was a good boost to the relationship! We hadn’t realized how casual and laid back we had gotten with our relationship! This is WAY better! Why didn’t we think of this 19 years ago? haha

  96. 1. I follow you on twitter
    2.I follow you on FB
    3. Marriage secret: keep each other a priority despite the many many distractions of life.
    4. I twittered a@beccachats

  97. Even after almost 35 years of marriage I love to read your fun ideas….romance continues, especially after so many years together! I love it that when my husband and I have been apart for several hours, as soon as I see him I’m “home”, wherever we happen to be!

  98. Marriage Secret – We have a weekly couple’s meeting in which we discuss any issues that we are having in a safe and calm forum (rather than saying things we will regret in the heat of the moment), talk about our budget, talk about the kids, and do a marriage builder.

  99. Shared on FB. Love e dating divas and their FABULOUS ideas. My ‘secret’ is just to never give up. Just cause it’s hard doesn’t mean you don’t work for it. Too many people think that if something gets hard it means to give up and I don’t want to do that with my marriage. Way too important!

  100. Where can I purchase this book? I’m very interested in it. You can send me an email because I’m actually really bad at checking backbone blots that I comment on .. sadly. Thanks in advance.

    1. Hey Jen, if you click on the link above that says “Grab your own copy!” it will take you to and you can purchase it there.