Morning Routine for a Strong Marriage
8 Things to do With Your Spouse Before 8 am
As wives and moms sometimes it seems like our “to-do” lists are never-ending. You morning routine begins at the sound of your baby crying, so you drag yourself out of bed, rush from one errand to the next (or from one child to the next), only to drop into bed late at night exhausted… and do it all over again the next day. It’s draining. Motherhood is a 24/7 gig and there’s no sick days or time off. Don’t get me wrong- it’s the most rewarding and wonderful job in the world! But it is also the hardest. Kids require so much time and attention; it’s easy to see why marriages often get put on the back burner after kids come along. After all, there’s not a lot of energy left for each other after taking care of and chasing after kids all day. (Heck, sometimes it can be hard to even fit a shower in.) We get it. But here’s the thing and our biggest piece of marriage advice – your marriage matters! And one of the most important things you can ever do for your kids is to nurture your marriage. Strong and happy marriages make a strong and happy family.
So how do you make your marriage a priority? You put it first! You always have time for the things you put first! (And everything else will fall into place.)
Easier said than done though, right? There are SO many things that are important- how do you make time for them all? That’s a question I’ve been struggling with for years. The trickiest part of being a wife and mom is figuring out the balancing act. I think most of us feel like we’re juggling 20 balls… and dropping most of them. But it doesn’t have to be that way – with a strong morning routine you are sure to become that dream happy couple who has marriage tips to share with others! All with a few little changes.
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I recently read a book, The Miracle Morning, that completely changed my perspective. (I totally recommend it.) The author, Hal Elrod, talked about 6 things that he did every morning before 8 am that totally changed the course of his entire day. And here’s the kicker- it only took 1 hour to do them all. That’s it! Wake up an hour earlier, start your day with intention, and have a happier, more productive day. I loved the idea of it so I gave it a shot with my own morning routine. And guess what? It worked! Having an hour to myself before the kids woke up gave me the little bit of extra time that I needed to get things done and start the day off right. I felt like I was living life so much more purposefully and it was amazing how one short hour totally changed the mood of my day! After a couple of weeks, I started personalizing and adapting my own “Miracle Morning” and found that what I was really missing was a connection with my husband. So, I invited him to join my morning routine and together we figured out a new COUPLE morning routine that worked the best for both of us. It has made such a huge difference for us, that I wanted to share it with you. Now, of course, you can personalize your own routine to include things that are most important to you and your spouse- everyone has different goals and priorities. But hopefully these little bits of morning routine advice will give you a good jumping off point and lead you to the happy marriage we all strive for.
(Not sure how you feel about waking up earlier? Believe me, I wasn’t a huge fan of the idea either! All I wanted was MORE sleep! But if you just try this little experiment for one week, I’m pretty sure you’ll be amazed at the difference a little morning routine can make in your life- from your productivity and happiness to your relationship with your spouse! Just try it and see for yourself!)
Ready for it? Here it goes…
8 Things You Should Do With Your Spouse Every Morning
How to be Happier, More Productive, and More in Love
1. Read Your Scriptures to Start Your Morning Routine
The first thing my husband and I do when we wake up is read our scriptures. (Instead of reaching for our phones first thing- we reach for our scriptures. There’s just something about connecting with God before connecting to the world that makes a big difference in how our day goes.) Usually we’ll spend 15-20 minutes doing our own personal scripture study and then we’ll share our personal thoughts and insights with each other. If you don’t have a lot of time, just read a couple of verses. There’s no rule that says you always have to read an entire chapter. This is one of my favorite marriage tips that leads to a happy marriage – commune with God together.
2. Say a Prayer for a Positive Morning
After we read our scriptures, we kneel down next to our bed, hold hands, and say a prayer together. We like to take turns saying the prayer each morning and it only takes a minute. Listening to my husband pray over me and our children is seriously one of my favorite things in the world. We believe that when we love God first, we can love each other better and have a stronger, happier marriage. And when I know that we’ve asked God for His help and we are both in it together- I feel like we can do and overcome anything.
3. Morning Routine Exercise
After scriptures and prayers, we exercise together. I know, I know. It’s not the most fun thing in the world for everyone, and it can be hard to motivate yourself to get started. But it seriously makes a BIG difference! I’ve never regretted a workout after it was done. This is the part of my morning routine that helps burn off stress, improves my mood, and boosts my self confidence. I am always happier and more productive on the days when I exercise. (And it feels SO good getting it done first thing in the morning.)
Our early morning routine sweat sessions are sort of like mini daily dates for us. Spending that time together does wonders for our marriage. We like to go downstairs and pick a Beachbody On Demand workout to do together. It only takes 30 minutes and there’s no gym membership or babysitter required- plus there’s a huge variety to choose from. (But you can do any exercise that you enjoy. Just get moving and get that heart rate up.)
4. Marriage Tip: Shower Together
Now that you’re all sweaty, it’s time for a shower! Someone once told me her best marriage advice was to shower together! Showering together saves time, water, money- and adds a little romance to your morning (if you know what I mean.) This step may seem like an obvious part of your morning routine, but I wanted to add it in here because it’s important. Take the time to STOP and enjoy a nice, hot, relaxing shower together. As moms it can be temping to rush right into the morning to-do’s of making lunches, doing the kids hair, and getting breakfast on the table- telling yourself you’ll get a shower later. But guess what? If you put it off- it’s probably not going to happen until much later. Plus, check out these fun robes!
Tell yourself that it’s okay to slow down and enjoy your morning. That’s why you woke up early- so you wouldn’t have to be in a huge rush! This morning routine is all about self-care. So take that shower and enjoy it! (Oh, and a shower radio makes things even more fun! Just saying. Turn on some music and sing and dance together. It’s impossible to have a bad day when it starts off that way.)
5. Get Ready to be a Happy Couple
Again, this step may be obvious. But make sure that after you take your shower- you get ready for the day. Even if you’re a stay-at-home mom and don’t need to go anywhere today. STOP and get dressed and ready for the day. Even if it’s just doing your hair or slapping on some lipgloss and mascara. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having a lazy, pajama day- but I find that I feel SO much better and more productive when I take the time to get ready first thing in the morning. Besides looking good for my husband, I want to look good for myself. It’s such a small thing that has a BIG impact on your mood and attitude. When I’m confident and in a better mood we can be a happy couple without any lingering storm clouds.
6. Eat Breakfast to Fuel Your Morning Routine
After we’re dressed and ready, we wake up the kids, get them ready, and have a family breakfast together. Again, it may seem like a small thing but sitting down together for a meal makes the day go so much smoother than before when we were running late and grabbing whatever we could find to eat in the car as we rushed out the door to get the kids to school. Not every day will feel like a Bed and Breakfast, but your family and your marriage will benefit. Before, I was so busy getting the kids food that I would sometimes forgot to eat anything myself before heading out the door. I’ve discovered that a healthy, filling meal does a lot for my mood! We’re often still on a bit of a time crunch so we like to make quick and easy meals like green smoothies or eggs. (This bit of marriage advice may have to be adapted based on your spouse and children’s schedule, but if there is any way to wake up early enough to eat together- I highly recommend it.)
7. Go Over Your Day During Your Morning Routine
While we eat, we go over our plan for the day to make sure we’re all on the same page. Is there a parent-teacher conference? Piano lessons? Doctor’s appointment? Do we need to go grocery shopping? Run by the bank? Fill the car with gas? It only takes a couple of minutes but “syncing” our to-do lists for the day makes everything run so much smoother!
8. Seal Your Morning Routine with a Kiss
Finally, before you head out the door and go separate ways- make sure you kiss him goodbye. And I don’t mean a hurried peck either. Give him a nice, long kiss and a hug and let him know that he is totally loved. Who wouldn’t want to start their day with a little bit of flirting and affection? Let him know that you will miss him and can’t wait for him to come back home. This final act in your morning routine can fill that love bucket throughout the day.
That’s it! When those 8 things happen during my morning routine I have the BEST days! I feel like a million bucks and am ready to tackle the day with energy and enthusiasm.
Sure, waking up early isn’t easy… especially at first. But, you’d be amazed at how quickly you can transform into an early bird and how great you’ll feel when these things are happening consistently. A habit takes 21 days to cement. Begin this morning routine today and is 3 weeks let us know how it transforms your mood and your marriage. And if you have any tips and ideas from your own morning routine, please share with us in the comments!
P.S. If you liked this post, we totally recommend reading The Miracle Morning for Parents and Families and The Miracle Morning for Transforming Your Relationship. Another book I totally recommend is Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living!