Find Out What Women Want During Sex From Her Man

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What Women Want During Sex

Physical intimacy is an essential part of a healthy marriage, but it can also be the trickiest part. There are so many expectations that are unvoiced and that often lead to hurt feelings. We knew we needed to do something about it! Thanks to the help of the other Divas and our fabulous readers {that’s YOU!} we have come up with the top 5 Things Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Sex! So study up and start improving your sex life just through learning more about what women really want. What women want during sex does not have to be a mystery. In fact, we have the answers right here!

Find out what women want during and from sex! #whatwomenwishmenknew #whatdowomenloveduringsex

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What Women Wish Men Knew During Sex

We compiled tons of responses and boiled them down to five main takeaways. We included more specific responses so that you can see what real women had to say about what women want during sex.

5. Sex is not just physical for us, it’s emotional and spiritual. We need it too!

  • I wish my husband knew that sex is an emotional and spiritual experience for me. It’s not just about the physical, I need to feel the connection to him. If he makes the effort to romance me, it’s going to go a long way to getting me in the mood to be frisky with him.
  • I wish he understood that a girl still has needs, that it’s better if we take time out of our busy week to enjoy the pleasure of each other a few times throughout the week. We don’t always want the same “moves” either… surprise us by changing up things.
  • It isn’t just physical. There is a deep psychological need to connect with him in that way.
  • I wish he knew that I want to have sex with him often!
  • What women want during sex is a connection.
  • I know there are some stereotypes and jokes about men wanting to have sex and women inventing excuses all the time, but they’re not true for everyone! I love to have sex with my husband, and I want to do it as often as possible!

What Wife Want from Husband in Bed

4. We love it when you initiate!

  • I wouldn’t mind being romantically seduced!
  • I wish my husband would initiate more often.
  • What women want during sex is to feel so sexy you can’t bare to wait any longer!
  • I wish my husband would take control in the bedroom rather than me always planning when we have sex.
  • I love feeling desired when you initiate.
  • You seeking me out makes me feel special and wanted.

If your wife is still being a bit timid in the bedroom, that’s okay. We’ve found intimate games really take the pressure off! We adore the Game of Love, and we wrote a post all about why …plus, drummed up our own little freebie game to go with it!}

Things Girls Wish Guys Knew

3. When I say no, it’s not you!

  • Sometimes I’m just over-touched by the kids all day long.
  • Just because I’m not into it at that exact moment does NOT mean that I’m not into you.
  • It’s not because you’ve done something wrong – I’m just not feeling it.
  • I feel guilty when I say no – please keep pursuing me. It gives me confidence and makes me feel like I’m enough.
  • Just because I don’t desire it all the time doesn’t mean I don’t want it.

What Do Women Love During Sex

2. It takes time to get me in the mood. So be patient!

  • I can’t just drop everything and be ready to go, especially if I have a lot on my mind or a big to-do list. I need time to connect emotionally first and unwind.
  • More foreplay for me please – starting the same way doesn’t help me.
  • My brain is always thinking about work, family, children, etc. It takes me some time to switch gears and forget all that in order to “get in the mood.”
  • What women want during sex is to feel fully immersed in the experience. For us, that takes some warming up. Be patient and know that taking the extra time to get me into it will be worth the wait!
  • Take it slow. Women need the right mindset! Help us get there with eye contact, flirtation, and kind words.

What Do Women Love During Sex

And the number one answer…

1. Romance needs to be all day long.

  • Sex starts in the morning!
  • We can’t be disconnected all day then jump in bed at night; we need to be connected all the time. Sex is an extension of a happy relationship, not a momentary encounter.
  • I want him to be romantic, loving, and touching all day long. He needs to let me know all day how much I matter to him.
  • What women want during sex is to feel fully loved–that’s when we feel most passionate.
  • Flirt with me all day long to show me how much you really want me.
  • Be emotionally intimate during the day and you will get physical intimacy at night.

What do Women Love During Sex

There you go, men! Now you know exactly what women want during sex. All the inner thoughts of your loving wives are right here for you to see. It can be difficult to talk openly about sex because we don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings, try starting with this list to open up the communication lines and see where it takes you! We also strongly suggest And They Were Not Ashamed for a good book to read together and learn how to grow closer through physical intimacy (Shaunti Feldman did essentially the same thing, but on a bigger scale – and we highly recommend it! It will completely change the way you view your wonderful wife and her amazing brain! Grab her book here!) Communicating your thoughts and desires is a huge way to figure out what your wife wants during sex.

If you loved this article, be sure to check out What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Sex, How to Make Your Husband Happy, or 8 Reasons You Should Have Sex Tonight.


I am a reading, singing, shopping queen! (I'm very lucky that my handsome hubby likes shopping as much as I do) Married for 9 years and ready for forever, I love spending time with Brigham (my husband) and our 4 kiddos. I teach high school English during the school year and in the summertime, we love to go on adventures in the great outdoors.

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Recent Comments

  1. Out of 5 “pointers” from women, only #2 directly relates to the title of the article, “what women wish men knew DURING sex” (emphasis on “DURING”)… title should be “what women wish men knew REGARDING sex, or the lack thereof”.

    1. That is a really great point! English is full so many subtle nuances, sometimes it can be hard to pinpoint just the right word! We don’t want to mislead anyone, thank you for your feedback!

  2. I know this won’t be popular, but as a husband, I don’t want it to be this hard. There are some women who have a naturally high libido and I often think I should have focused on that criterion more in selecting a partner. Sometimes I just want my wife to see me and want me as much as I want her without me having to commit to an all-day plan…. or any plan really. You aren’t wrong for needing what you need, but there is a common issue here. I search “What women wish their husbands would do in bed,” hoping to find “pull my hair” or something and instead, it’s “form a spiritual connection throughout the day.” My urges are primal. I love my wife more than anything, but that’s not what I’m thinking when I’m in the mood and it’s not what you guys think about when you read fantasy. I wish there were more articles helping women bring the raw sexual fantasies from their books into their lives with their husbands. But alas, most of that comes from the build-up over many chapters I suppose.

    1. There are definitely women who have a high libido, but that does not negate the romantic, spiritual connection we all want and need for true intimacy. It’s really most important for you to communicate with your partner about the specifics for what she wants as far as her “primal desires” as you mentioned because there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to physical intimacy. If your wife enjoys and reads romance novels, maybe have a date night where you ask your wife to read her favorite passage out loud to you and then you can reenact it. Good luck!

  3. Number 4 for the wives one is more like me, the rest is like my husband. I also read the husband one and it had me tearing up. My husband tells me all the time that I am so sexy to him and he wishes I could just walk around naked or sit on the steps naked one night when he comes home… I just cant. I cant get myself there. I have had so much fluctuation with my weight, I even lost some muscle at one point. I just never know what to expect when I take my clothes off. Reading how much the husbands felt in a deeper way, I could hear my husband in my head saying these same things. How I wish I could. I do notice when he spends a day completely all over me, it does help when I get into the bedroom in being less shy. Like how these women were saying in this wives article. We definitely need to find a balance between how they could help us feel more confident, so we can be that confidence they love so much. My husband can, it just needs to happen more often for it to stick I think.

    1. You are so not alone in those feelings! I know as a woman, I struggle to feel confident. I think the most important thing is just talking with your husband, letting him know what helps you to feel more confident and that you would love if he could do it more often 🙂 You got this!

  4. After reading this I immediately had to read the 5 things husbands wanted their wives to know… first I want to say is I think both articles are good reads. Unfortunately there is no bridge to make the connections, meaning men “need” sex it’s vital to our existence we need that touch. Women on the other hand look for an emotional, mental connection prior too sex.. If sex starts in the morning it’s jot a mans one way street it has to be a two way street we as men need to pursue more however when “life” (kids, careers, etc) overtake our wives she becomes unavailable… Unavailability is not sexy.

  5. Great article! It’s odd in my marriage that roles are reversed on this topic. I’m the husband, but my wife and I often discuss these same topics, but with it primarily being my desire for more of these things in our intimate times.

    So, while I agree that it’s the husband that traditionally fails to show these behaviors, it’s not absolute. In the long run, I believe a relationship that is rich in these traits makes for a deeply fulfilling, mutually-satisfying relationship for both partners (in the bedroom at least)!



    1. So true! We all have a little different dynamic in our marriages. Thanks so much for giving a husband’s perspective.