One Super Easy Tip That Can Improve
Your Marriage Right Now!
Today we wanted to share the best marriage tip we’ve heard in a long time.
We love it because it’s SO easy but SO good!
In fact, we can almost 100% guarantee that you’ll see an improvement in your relationship right away if you use it! We can say that because we’ve tried it and it works!
I heard this little gem of marriage advice from my dad. One thing I love about my dad is that he is always teaching me. Growing up, every Sunday after church my dad would sit all 8 of us kids down for a short devotional or lesson. (We used to call it “daddy lecture time.”) He would talk about whatever was on his mind that he thought was important for us to learn and remember. Now most of us kids are grown and married, but every Sunday my parents have a family potluck and all of us kids who live in the area get together. After dinner, we still have “daddy lecture time.” The topics vary, but usually we talk about marriage and family. After all, it’s what’s most important. It was during one of these family discussions that my dad shared this marriage tip, he called it…
“Look Up and Light Up!”
Basically it means that when you’ve been apart from your spouse (for example, when your husband has to go to work each day) and he comes home – STOP what you are doing, look up and “light up.” Let him see you smile and let him see that you’re glad he’s back. If you can, go greet him at the door and give him a big hug and a kiss. If you can’t, (maybe you’re knee-deep in dirty laundry and diapers when he walks in) you can still look up and light up with your face. It’s such a small thing, but the way that we look at and welcome home our spouse can have a big effect on how loved they feel and can set a mood and tone for the rest of the evening.
Taking it a step further…
Now, this doesn’t just apply to when our spouse comes home each day. This tip also works great throughout the rest of the night as well. Even if you’re both home but you’ve been apart doing different things in different parts of the house and he walks in from the other room – STOP what you are doing for a second, look up, smile, and connect with your eyes. Think about it… how many times each day do you really look your spouse in the eye and “connect?” Too often we are so busy going from one task on the to-do list to the next (or from one child to the next) that we’re missing each other. But it really only takes a second of your time and it can make a BIG difference. Even if you’re doing three things at once, (like helping your daughter with homework, trying to calm a fussy baby, and starting to cook dinner) you can STILL take a second to look up when your spouse walks by with the hamper of laundry and smile.
You’d be amazed at what regular eye contact and smiling can do for a marriage!
If you need a perfect example, babies are GREAT at this! Think about it, when you walk in and they see you – they start giggling and smiling and holding up their arms to you, and it makes you feel like a million bucks to be their parent. Little kids are pretty good at it, too. When you walk in the door after date night, they go running up to you to give you a hug with a big squeal, “Mommy!!!!” It feels pretty good to know that you are their world. We can do the same thing in our marriage! Make your spouse feel like a million bucks, let him know he’s #1 in your world, and be his favorite “hello.”
Chances are, this came pretty naturally at the beginning of your relationship. Do you remember when you were first dating and you couldn’t wait to see him again? He would walk into the room and you would instantly light up with excitement just to be near him? You didn’t have to remember to smile, it just happened! Well, somewhere along the way – we get used to always being around each other and start to take it for granted. The good news is, we can get that same feeling back! It just takes a little bit of intentional effort! It doesn’t matter if we’ve been married for 5 years or 50 years; you can still keep that “honeymoon phase” feeling. My grandparents are perfect examples of this. During our little family discussion, my mom told the sweetest story about them that took place years ago…
Because of travel, my grandparents had been apart from each other for about a week. My parents and several of my aunts and uncles were gathered together talking when all of the sudden my mom said they heard grandma give the loudest squeal and saw her run across the room. She proceeded to tackle my grandpa who had just walked in the door and he picked her up and turned in a circle, lifting her feet off the floor and covered her in kisses. My mom remembers being taken back to see how openly they carried on after seeing each other again. After all, they weren’t newlyweds – they were already grandparents. But it was obvious how happy they were to be together again.
I just love that story! Isn’t that what we all want? The best part is, we can have it! Together can be your favorite place to be! It just takes a little bit of intentional effort.
Try it out! Do your own “Look Up and Light Up” experiment and let us know how it goes in the comments below!