How To Get Your Hubby “On Board”

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Making Date Night Happen…

This is one question that we get a LOT! “How do you make date night happen when your spouse isn’t totally on board?’ For a LOT of couples, date nights were a lot easier and more romantic before marriage. But for some reason, after marriage they seem to take a back seat. There are a lot of reasons why that happens (jobs, kids, finances, and… well, just real life.) But the real question is- how do you make it better? How do you make your marriage a PRIORITY and be intentional about your relationship to make sure that spark doesn’t die out?! (And if it is already starting to die out, how do you fan the flames to get that love fire burnin’ again?!) THAT is what today’s post is all about!

How To Get Your Hubby On Board With Date Night

We get a lot of “Dear Divas” questions from our readers asking us how to get their hubby on board and involved in planning and helping with dates.  So we decided to give you all some diva advice when it comes to getting help with date nights!

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But first… look closely!! Is YOUR husband in this picture… the night

BEFORE Valentine’s??? LOL

Let’s face it, men are not planners when it comes to this kind of stuff.  Well,  the majority aren’t….

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A few tips of advice for this coming “lovers day… if you want your hubby to be thoughtful… create an opportunity to send him to the grocery store or Walmart or any store (for a highly “needed” item, of course) the day before Valentine’s, your anniversary, or your birthday! Help him out… clip a few things you would like out of magazines or make a simple list and put it into an envelope, then give it to him so he knows what you will like. This is totally going to help both of you enjoy that special day even more!!

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Now for date nights…

We must start with the most important FACT!! I don’t think there is anybody walking around with super hero powers… with that being said… your man cannot read your mind!! Really! He can’t!! {LOL}

We would like to start this post with the top 10 things you SHOULDN’T do to get your hubby on board…

#10 Do not ever joke about his planning or lack of in the past!  Instead, shower him with compliments. Men like to be praised.

#9 Don’t make the “Can YOU plan our next date night?” conversation a big deal – keep it casual.

#8 Do not force him to do it, he has to WANT to do it!

#7 Absolutely NO guilt trips, your hubby still rocks! This would just be an added bonus for you!

#6 Do not give ultimatums, he is for sure going to pick the “other” choice.

#5 Do not expect him to do all the work the first few times. Volunteer to get the babysitter AND go ahead… suggest our website to him! 😉  He will need all the help he can get when it comes to planning something.

#4 Don’t have too high of expectations {admit it….we as women tend to let those expectations become a little unrealistic) and whatever he plans… tell him how fun it was! He may be a little rusty at this or even NEW to this whole “dating your spouse” idea.

#3 No nagging, change your tone of voice when chatting about this subject…..especially if it is important to you.

#2 NEVER (and I mean NEVER) compare what he does to other husbands.

And here it is… the #1 thing you should NOT do…

DO NOT pout or complain about his “incredible” date! Whether it meets your requirements or not, always be positive!! Talk it up for a llloooonnnnggggg time… 🙂

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Hopefully that helps a little bit.  Those are a few things that some of us divas have also been guilty of.  Just a small bit of information… we have been planning fun dates for our men for well over a year… regular, fun, creative dates! Some of our husbands may not have jumped right on board at first either – BUT the more you spoil them and the more fun you have… the more they will want to share quality one-on-one time with you! {WINK, WINK}

Remember when you were dating??? Before your first “real” fight? Before you were completely comfortable with each other? Remember those amazing-heart-racing-fun times??? You didn’t have a care in the world, right? Bring it back! Be ecstatic with any effort he makes. Check out the post that we created a while back for All The Single Ladies, it has great advice on wooing your man too!

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Here are a few suggestions straight from the divas themselves on how you can get your man to help…

Things you SHOULD do…

  • Get your BFF’s hubby on board to help your man plan a double date! If there are 2 husbands planning the date, that’s 2 brains which equals less work and double the fun!
  • Make a HUGE deal out of how much you love his efforts!! Also, tell all your friends and family about it… and make sure he hears you tell them about all the fun you had! (No sarcasm allowed)
  • Honey and sugar will attract the bee. You have a lot of womanly charm that will wrap your man right around your finger. Pour it on and USE IT. Be sweet to him, love on him, and make your request simple yet direct. Make sure he knows how you look forward to everything that he ever plans for the two of you to do.
  • Make a schedule for the two of you. Ask him to plan something once a quarter (start easy….Valentine’s Day or your Anniversary). Then bump it to once a month and hopefully you can work up to every other week with him in a few months – but don’t be discouraged if it takes longer.
  • Do trade work… hehe…  If he plans a date, you will give him a massage after. Ooohhh, La La!! Or after the date, you will heat things up at home. 🙂
  • Have a heart to heart talk with your man. Talk about 3 things you both would like to change. Tell him how important it is to you that he help plan your date night.  Then create a plan together AND once again, help him with his end!!  You may have to help him accomplish those date nights at first {i.e. arrange for a babysitter, suggest ideas…} but eventually he should be able to do it all by himself.

We all wish you the best of luck! If one thing doesn’t work, move to the next. But don’t give up and always remember how great your man is in everything he does!!

If you’re really seriously about making date night a priority in your marriage. Stop what you’re doing right now and GO CHECK OUT OUR DATE NIGHT GUIDE!

Date Night Guide

After receiving SO many emails and messages from readers asking for help in this area, we finally decided to make a comprehensive guide JUST for you! {Because you KNOW we LOVE you guys, right?!}

The “How to Date Your Spouse Guide” seriously includes EVERYTHING you need to

get your spouse on board and make date night happen, including:

  • Date Night Basics Info – Discover the benefits and get some motivation for date night!
  • Date Night Questionnaire – Get on the same page with your “date” expectations.
  • Date Night Idea Surveys – Figuring out what to do is half the battle!
  • Date Night Planning Guide– – This planner will help you prepare 2 weeks in advance and get everything ready for date night!
  • Date Night Coupon IOUs – A little reward never hurt! Give your spouse a love coupon in exchange for them planning a great date night!
  • Date Night Gift Tags – Cute tags to attach to a date night gift!

If you use the guide, please let us know how it goes!

Do you have a fabulous suggestion we missed above?? Please share it with us and all of our other great readers!! We love your input too!!


I am crazy athletic and super fun! And I can't get enough of my family and friends! I have an amazing hubby and 3 incredible kids! Life is great as we know it!!

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Recent Comments

  1. I found this article thanks to Pinterest. I have been focusing on marriage with the ladies at my church since January. This is a great, great article. Sometimes we think our marriages are supposed to be like Hallmark movie where the guy just “knows” everything we need before we even say a word. HA! I love that you say to praise their efforts (even if they miss the mark). Great advice! Thanks so much!

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