Natural Tips on How to Last Longer in Bed
When it comes to sex, one of the biggest insecurities or doubts many individuals face is how to last longer in the bedroom. But why would someone want to last longer? Great question!
Lasting longer in bed has the ability to draw out feelings of pleasure and will also give you a better sense of control. Not to mention, prolonging sexual activities will help both spouses have fulfilling sex and achieve climax! Pretty great combination, right?
Whether you’re looking to simply increase the duration of your sexual activities, or you’re often reaching climax well before your spouse, we can help! We have researched (and tested out 😉) some techniques, and are here to share some of the best natural tips and tricks on how to last longer in bed!
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How Long Should Sex Last?
Okay, okay, I know what you’re thinking. It’s the age-old question SO many married couples wonder: How long does sex last for the average couple? Well, there are a lot of factors that cause many individuals to have a false idea of how long sex should be lasting. However, according to a 2005 study, penetrative sex lasts for approximately 5-6 minutes for the average couple (Kennedy, 2020).
On the other hand, it is important to remember there is definitely no correct amount of time for sexual activity to last. You and your spouse should communicate what works best for you as a couple, as well as any expectations you may have for your sex life.
Why You Might Not Be Lasting as Long as You Want To
It is relatively common to enjoy having sex for only a few minutes. However, if the desire to enjoy having sex for SEVERAL minutes is there, and you’re unable to physically, this is something you may need help with. If this is a recurring issue you and your spouse are experiencing, there may be an underlying reason. Some potential reasons may include things like:
- Psychology: Some studies show performance anxiety, depression, stress, or even guilt may lead to a speedy finish (Kennedy, 2020).
- Experience: Your level of sexual experience may also play a role in this! The less frequently men engage in sexual intercourse, the more likely they are to climax quickly.
- Biological Differences Between Men & Women: Research concludes that the average woman needs 13.41 minutes to achieve orgasm from penetrative intercourse. However, the average man only needs 5.4 minutes (Villines, 2020). Sometimes, it just boils down to the way we were created!
Tips for Making Sex Last Longer
If you are looking for ways to kick things up a notch in the bedroom and discover how to last longer in bed, we can help! Here are 10 natural things you can try with your spouse to help make sex last longer:
- Use condoms: Oftentimes, premature ejaculation is a result of hypersensitivity. The use of condoms may be a good solution for how to last longer that men can utilize. In a way, the condom acts as a barrier which dulls sensation and can prolong the grand finale.
- Pelvic Floor Exercises: When considering how to last longer during sex, some experts believe that if your pelvic floor muscles are weak, it will be harder to delay a climax. The good news is that your pelvic floor muscles, just like any other muscles, can be strengthened through exercises such as Kegel exercises! These exercises are just as beneficial for men as they are for women! To perform a Kegel, flex the same muscles as you would to stop the flow of urine. Clench this muscle for 10 seconds and then release. Aim for 3 sets of 10 repetitions every day (Fletcher & Schaefer, 2022).
- The Pause-Squeeze Method: This is a simple technique on how to last longer that men will appreciate! Here’s how it works: During sex, when the male reaches the point of no return before orgasm, use your finger and thumb to apply pressure to the area where the head of the penis joins the shaft. After applying pressure for a few seconds, release and resume sexual activity. This technique is safe to repeat as many times as needed, and couples can do it together! Many individuals find that this technique helps to let things “rest” and ultimately delay orgasm (Kennedy, 2022).
- Take Things Slow: Quick movements will create intense stimulation and might lead to a swift orgasm. These quick movements may also make it more difficult to recognize subtle sensations, which can make it challenging for you to detect an oncoming climax. So, try going at a slower pace and pausing for short breaks if need be!
- Change Positions: Frequently changing positions will force you both to take a break and slow down your movements. During these moments of pause or transition, you won’t be experiencing as much stimulation. This will allow your body to cool off, and take a step back from climax.
- Focus on Foreplay: Many individuals find focusing on foreplay enables them to extend sexual activity. You have the ability to satisfy your spouse and also engage in physical intimacy without as much fear of an early climax. Not to mention, many women need foreplay in order to reach orgasm! One survey found that only 18.4% of women were able to reach orgasm by penetrative sex alone (Villines, 2020). So, foreplay can be great to incorporate, particularly if sex is not likely to last long enough for both individuals to reach climax. It’s a win-win for everyone!
- Try Yoga & Meditation: A study of yoga’s potential effects on sexual function determined it can improve overall sexual health by regulating hormone levels. The study also found that the emphasis yoga has on mindfulness, as well as physical discipline, may help individuals gain more self-control and awareness when it comes to experiencing pleasure (Kennedy, 2022).
- Check Your Arousal Level: In the same breath, it is also important to be in tune with your body, and consider how aroused you are heading into sex. If you are trying to make sex last longer, heading into things with a high arousal level will not set you up for success. Starting things off when you are more at a medium level will allow for room to grow and pleasure to build (Fletcher & Schaefer, 2022).
- Stay in the Moment: A common “technique” involves focusing on non-sexual things in order to delay orgasm. Instead, it may be wise to stay present in the moment, and be fully in-tune with your body. Perhaps you need to take things slower, change up what you’re doing, pause for a break, etc. How are you supposed to know what your body needs in these moments if you are too busy thinking about last week’s football game?! (Fletcher & Schaefer, 2022).
- Improve Your Cardiovascular Health: Working on your cardiovascular routine can have a big impact on your sex life. Cardio exercises such as swimming, jogging, and biking will strengthen your lungs and increase their capacity. This can provide you with a solution on how to last longer in the bedroom, too. In addition, exercise in general stimulates the release of endorphins. This can help you release tensions, remain calm, and enjoy sexual contact, thus lowering the chances of premature climax.
If you still feel that you need further help on how to last longer during sex, don’t be afraid to speak to your doctor about it! They may be able to provide additional assistance or refer you to a specialist.
For those of you willing to try out a few of our suggestions, it may take a little time and experimentation to find out what works best for both you and your spouse. But, our archives of Sexy Date Ideas might be the perfect place to start! I could definitely think of worse ways to spend my time, couldn’t you?! 😉
Fletcher, J. & Schaefer, A. (2022). Healthline. “How to Last Longer in Bed”.
Kennedy, M. (2020, June 6). Business Insider. “5 Ways Men Can Last Longer During Sex”.
Kennedy, M. (2022, February 4). Insider. “16 Tips for Men to Last Longer in Bed”.
Villines, Z. (2020). Medical News Today. “What Techniques Can Help a Person Last Longer in Bed?”.