Nowadays Sexy Starts with You
Have you ever wanted to feel sexier—but couldn’t find any advice that wasn’t cringey or over-the-top? Lucky for you, keeping things classy and spicy is kind of my thing. 😏
The truth is, being sexy doesn’t mean being explicit—it means tapping into your confidence, embracing your body, and showing up with energy your spouse can’t resist. If you’re ready to unlock that magic, I’ve got all the flirty, feel-good tips you need to turn up the heat (without crossing the line).
Psst … Men, you can adjust these tips to work for you as well!
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Table of Contents
A Little Preface…
Before I dive into our top tips for how to be sexier, I just want to say this: sexiness is different for everyone. What feels or looks sexy for one person may be really non-sexy for someone else, and that’s OKAY!
The best way to feel sexy is to be yourself and do what works for you and your partner.
That said, read through these tips and adjust them to your liking. The tips can remain the same, but the execution is completely up to you!
2025 Updates: How to Feel Sexy as a Woman—Today and Every Day
What does it really mean to be sexy in 2025? Spoiler alert: it’s not about chasing perfection or looking a certain way. It’s about how you feel—in your body, in your mind, and in your relationship with yourself. Whether you’re rocking sweats or lingerie, confidence and connection are the real game-changers. So if you’re ready to reignite that spark and show up as your most magnetic self, these fresh tips are just for you.
1. Reclaim Sexy Through Confidence Rituals
Confidence is the core of feeling sexy. In 2025, we’re embracing daily rituals that spark confidence from the inside out. Try: Saying affirmations while looking in the mirror (“I am radiant. I am desired.”). Wearing lingerie or an outfit you love—even if no one sees it but you. Striking a power pose (think Wonder Woman!) before your day or a date night. Practicing self-touch that feels nurturing, not performative
When you treat yourself like someone who is worthy of love and pleasure—you radiate sexy.
2. DIY Boudoir Photos—Just for YOU
Boudoir isn’t just for anniversaries or gifts—it’s a celebration of your body right now. In 2025, we’re saying yes to: Taking solo photos in natural lighting with no retouching. Embracing all body types, skin textures, stretch marks, and smiles. Using filters, fabric, or shadows to create art, not perfection. Making a private gallery or scrapbook you can look at on tough days. Whether you share them or keep them to yourself, boudoir can help you see your beauty through a different, empowered lens.
Check out our amazing DIY At-Home Boudoir Photoshoot tips for inspiration!
3. Tune In to Your Body Through Movement
Want to feel sexier without changing a single thing? Move your body in ways that make you feel good. Sensual stretching or dancing in your bedroom. Walking with purpose (shoulders back, chest open). Gentle yoga with a focus on hips, core, and breath. Even just swaying to music you love. The goal is embodiment—not performance. When you’re in your body, you’re magnetic.
4. Speak to Yourself Like You’d Speak to a Lover
No more “ugh, I look gross” or “I wish my ___ was smaller.” The most unsexy thing we can do? Trash-talk ourselves.
Start replacing those thoughts with: “I am learning to love this part of me.” “My body is powerful and beautiful.” “I deserve joy and pleasure—right now.” Self-talk shapes your self-image, and when you speak with kindness, confidence grows.
5. Set the Mood—For Yourself
You don’t need a partner to experience sexy energy. Create moments that feel intimate and sensual just for you: Light a candle and wear a silky robe while you journal. Play soft music while you moisturize slowly after a shower. Sip something warm in lingerie or cozy socks. Try a short guided meditation focused on desire or femininity. You’re not waiting for someone to make you feel sexy—you’re claiming it on your own.
6. Embrace Your Version of Sexy
Sexy isn’t a one-size-fits-all. In 2025, we celebrate sexy in every form: Cozy and cuddly. Bold and flirtatious. Playful and giggly. Strong and fierce. Quiet and confident. Give yourself permission to explore what sexy feels like to you. That’s where the magic is.
Let this be your reminder: sexy isn’t something you earn—it’s something you already are. 💋 Whether you’re teasing in front of the mirror, lighting candles for a solo night in, or just choosing to love the skin you’re in, you’re claiming your power and showing up with intention. So go ahead, babe—walk like you’ve got a secret, smile like you know your worth, and keep embracing the gorgeous, confident YOU that the world is lucky to see.
Part One: Look the Part
Your training for how to feel sexy starts here! Once you look the part, it will be easier to act the part.
As I stated above, sexiness is different for everyone, so looking the part will be different for everyone, too! There are several ways to look sexy, and what’s most important is choosing what works for you. After all, this guide is here to help YOU feel your sexiest.
1. Prep your outfit: There are so many clothing options for feeling sexy. Whether that’s lingerie, your birthday suit, cute sweat pants, loungewear, silk pajamas, or something fancy, put on whatever helps you feel your absolute best!
2. Prep your body: Wash your hair, shave your legs, and apply some skin-softening lotion. Do any of the self-care routines that make your skin glow and make you feel amazing!
3. Prep your hair: Braids are a simple and cute way to pull your hair back for sex. You can also throw your hair into a sleek ponytail or messy bun, or you can let your hair down. Hair plays a huge role in how women feel sexy!
4. Prep your face: Use a face mask, apply makeup, or go au naturel. We love this lip-plumping balm for sexy time because it isn’t sticky, it softens and plumps your lips, and it comes in several shades (perfect for an ultra-sexy or natural look!).
Bonus Tips: Look the Part
BONUS TIP #1! Smell the part: Use your partner’s favorite scent and apply it all over your body, or indulge yourself and use your sexiest perfume. Smelling good helps you feel good! You can even purchase a perfume or body spray specifically for sex. That way, your spouse knows it’s go time whenever they smell it on you! {Wink!}
BONUS TIP #2! Prep your mind: As women, it’s pretty common for our brains to be working overtime. Whether you’re a “raising kids wife,” “working wife,” “entrepreneur wife,” or whatever awesome title you hold as well as “wife,” it’s important to take time to turn off your brain and turn on your body. Finding healthy ways to disconnect from your other responsibilities so you can transform into “just a wife” will allow you to bring your best self to the bedroom. Leave the dishes, last-minute work projects, stress from kids, etc., at your bedroom door and lock. them. out.
Part Two: Act the Part
What is the number one thing that partners find sexy in each other? Confidence.
That’s right, your spouse loves it when you feel confident! And when you feel confident, you act confident. If you’re wondering how to feel sexy in the bedroom, then bring that confidence with you!
1. Own your sexiness: Your spouse loves you and your body, and so should you! Take a look in the mirror and tell yourself five things you love about your body and your personality. Maybe even take turns sharing what you find sexy about each other.
2. Take control: Make a plan for sexy time and stick to it! Take control in bed and let your spouse enjoy what you have planned for them! Perhaps that’s trying a new position, performing their favorite sexual act, or just letting the moment take you where it needs to. Show your spouse that you are confident in your relationship, and let your body do the talking!
Need some ideas for sexy dates? Check out some of our faves:
- Tantric Sex Experience for Couples
- Lingerie Fashion Show Date Night
- The Ultimate 5 Senses Sexy Date Night
Part Three: Set the Stage
Now let’s discuss how to be sexy in bed. It’s time to set the stage, per se. Lights, lube, action!
1. Set the mood with music: Music is a powerful tool when it comes to making people feel a specific emotion. Use music to your advantage and let it enhance your experience! We have a great sex songs playlist that is perfect for the occasion. (You can also use music to help you get in the mood while you’re prepping yourself for sex/Part One!)
2. Dim the lights: Nothing is sexier than mood lighting! Dim the lights, light a few candles, or hang some twinkle lights.
3. Set the stage: Your bed is the stage, and tonight you are the leading lady! Dress up your bed with rose petals, satin sheets, or anything else that will help you and your spouse enjoy the show.
Bonus Tips: How to Be Sexy
I’ve covered the most important tips for how to be sexy, but I wanted to throw in a few more that didn’t necessarily fit with the other tips.
1. Use “props”: I’ve talked about sex toys before, and while they aren’t for everyone, they can definitely add some spice to your already hot night. If toys aren’t for you, consider using a blindfold, feathers, handcuffs, ice, whipped cream, or whatever you can think of to really take advantage of all five senses … especially touch!
2. Have lube on hand: I know lube isn’t absolutely necessary, but trust me, it can be good to have on hand. My absolute favorite lubricant is Coconu Lube, but there are other great brands out there that you can use, including KY, Lube Life, and Wet Platinum. I also highly recommend checking out Evree!
* Enjoy 15% off of your Coconu Lube order with our exclusive code: DIVAS
3. Try something new: Experimenting with sex positions is a great way to shake things up in the bedroom. New positions take practice, and it’s okay if you don’t get it right the first time. Lucky for you, practice makes perfect! {Wink!}
4. Act out your fantasies: Ask your spouse what their perfect night of love-making would involve and make it happen! Who knows, acting out fantasies may lead to some of your most mind-blowing sex together. Or you can give roleplaying a try. Roleplaying is another fun way to embrace sexual fantasies!
In Conclusion
You and your spouse share a connection that is unique to you, and that goes for your sexual connection, too. Don’t compare your sex life with those around you, nor anything Hollywood tries to tell you. Sexiness is different for every couple, as well as every individual. Do what works for YOUR partnership!
And don’t forget that while sex is great for bonding (as well as FUN together!), it’s also about expressing your love for each other. Let expressing your love for your spouse and the love they have for you be your top priority! I can’t think of anything sexier than making love with the person who loves you so passionately.
