I feel like the world must weigh on you a lot. In a time that says women don’t need men to make them happy, my heart breaks a little for you. Yes, I’m sure I could survive without you. I’m sure I would have happiness. I’m sure our children would grow to be decent human beings.
But life without you?
You fill me with more joy and passion and completeness and life and love than I could have ever imagined. You are part of my soul. Perhaps I don’t need you to survive, just like you don’t need me. But heck – I want you. I want you all of the time. I rejoice in the strength of women, and part of the beauty of womanhood these days is making whatever choice you want.
My choice? It’s you. Every. Single. Time.
So here is a letter – an “open letter” if you will, that applies to the past, present, and future. To tell you how much I want you. How much I need you. To tell you that I’m human. To tell you that I’m grateful for you. To tell you how much you matter not only to me, but to the world.
There is a downright myriad of emotions that I feel about you loving me, despite all of my imperfections – but the one that stands out the most is gratitude. So thank you.
Thank you for letting me shine.
You let me work this crazy job and manage this crazy house and look after our crazy kids. And you never, ever question me. You never, ever question my ability. You’re just always there – on the sidelines – cheering me on, repeating over and over again that I am capable of greatness. I’ll admit; I don’t always believe you. In fact, I hardly ever do. But your faith and belief in me is more than enough, all on its own.
Thank you for centering me.
You are my rock. You have this loving way of grounding me when I get wild and crazy ideas, and this thrilling way of lifting me when I’m down. You always seem to know (and give) just what I need at just the right moment.
Thank you for being my teacher.
Whether it’s you giving me the down-low on how to change a flat tire, or the importance of saying “no” sometimes when life gets too demanding (…still working on that one), you always have the patience to walk hand in hand with me through this crazy life. It never goes unnoticed.
Thank you for showing me who I really am.
Since the day we met, I knew you were different. The minute you walked into my life, I felt immediately comfortable and content with exactly who I am. Everything just made…sense. You have magnified my strengths and my weaknesses, all at the same time. It’s confusing. And wonderful. And overwhelming. And oh-my-heavens-I-have-so-much-to-BE. You’ve seen me at my absolute rock bottom, but you’ve also caught rare glimpses of my true potential; when I actually manage to wipe aside the dried peach yogurt from my shirt and wade through the Mt. Everest of diapers to show you what I am really capable of.
But what gets me the most?
That you love me all the same, whether it’s making potty jokes with our two year old, or shining somewhere with expertly coiffed hair and perfectly manicured nails; I’m just me. You taught me how to be myself and love myself. In time, the mountain of diapers will be gone, but for now, you drink me all in – and don’t seem to mind the messy journey along the way. And it speaks volumes.
So somewhere between the spilled milkshakes in the car and nights when I make you stay awake to watch Parks and Rec re-runs, I’ve learned some things, too. Things about marvelous, fascinating, fantastic you.
You have a history worth knowing.
So share it with me. Tell me about your past. Tell me about your heartbreaks, your trials, those English essays you failed, those awkward first dances, the old sports injuries. I want to know. I want to know every-single-thing about you. I don’t want to hear it from your Mom, or your best friend from elementary school. I want to sit on the couch with you and drown myself in nacho cheese and hear every. last. word.
You have weaknesses worth overcoming.
Just because you have weaknesses doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. In fact, weaknesses make our relationship stronger. When you admit your weaknesses to me, you really say, “I trust you with this. I’m showing you that I am vulnerable, and that I need your help.” I can help you. You just have to let me. Tell me what you want to overcome, and I will hold your hand, and cry with you, and rejoice with you, and stick by your side until your what-once-was weakness becomes one of your greatest strengths. I’ve seen you do it before, you can do it again; and I will be with you every step of the way. Never, ever feel like you need to hide them from me; they make you seem real and human and…well, just like me. And it makes me love you even more.
You have a future worth attaining.
Set goals with me. Dream with me. Make adventures with me. Whatever you want in life, part of my responsibility is to help make it happen. So tell me your innermost desires, and let me help you get them. You deserve it. I want you to be a man you are happy with, so let me be your driving force.
You have talents worth showcasing.
Whether it’s making our children laugh or how you lift everyone around you, nobody can do what you do – and I mean that. Plus, the world needs to see how much milk you can drink in a day. Honestly, it’s a talent.
You have fears worth conquering.
Your fears make up a part of who you are, and I married the whole package. So tell me what they are, and let me help you. Stage freight, heights, getting stuck in an elevator – whatever. Nobody deserves to live their lives in fear.
You have opinions worth sharing.
What you say matters. What you think matters. You shape this household just as much as I do, and I want to know what you think. Don’t like the color of the paint? Let’s talk. Contemplating upping our savings? Tell me why. Think the kids need a change of course? Let me know what you want to see happen. As you talk to me, I can understand more clearly what it is you want for yourself, and our family. Often times, my opinions alone are skewed, and I need you to help me balance it all out. Your opinion matters, no matter what it is; I want to hear it.
You have faith worth sustaining.
What we believe in is the center of our relationship. Let me strengthen you. Study with me. Learn with me. Seek help with me. I need you in this; we are a partnership in so many ways, and spiritually is one of them. When you share your spiritual thoughts with me, you share your soul. More than anything, I want to see your soul for all of its true beauty.
Most importantly, be you. And only you.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted.