CLICK TO READ PART 1 OF OUR STORY
CLICK TO READ PART 2 OF OUR STORY
I’m driving home from a doctor’s appointment and I see a homeless man on the side of the road. This isn’t uncommon here in Colorado, but it hits me really hard that he has nowhere to go. I feel so bad for him! I start crying and can’t seem to stop. Tears cloud my vision and I’m grateful for a stop sign so I can try to pull myself together.
This is my life. I cry. About everything. WHY, you ask?? Because I have soooo many drugs and hormones flooding through my body that I literally cannot control my emotions. I’m a walking pile of tears! I’m doing daily injections 3x/day plus taking medications and going in for daily appointments which include ultrasounds and bloodwork. My stomach is so sensitive now (from all the shots) that just touching it or having something brush up against it… hurts. I feel like a crazy person and I’m an emotional wreck. THAT is the life of someone going thru infertility treatments…
Let me catch you up from everything that happened since going on our Vail trip. The year 2016 started with the decision to leave that Vegas doctor behind. Our friends in Colorado (who had done IVF before) were ready to try again and they had an appointment with someone named, Dr. Greene. They had such great things to say about him that we decided to make an appointment. We were ready to work with someone who was as passionate about helping us find success as we were.
We met him, GRILLED him (especially Jamie Ha!), and left feeling really good about him! He took a completely different approach. Instead of everything being rush-rush-rush… like it was with our last doctor, he felt like it was extremely important to figure out the perfect plan for each couple no matter how long that took. Fast forward thru more appointments, and we decided that since one issue in the past was my low egg count and since we knew I COULD get pregnant but wasn’t able to keep it… we felt like doing a couple egg retrievals in a row PLUS genetic testing on surviving embryos was the way to go this time.
One thing we later found out about our last doctor was that he had done what is called mini-IVF or micro-IVF. This approach uses lower doses of fertility drugs and involves less monitoring of the growing embryos before transfer. It’s a cheaper way to go (can be as low as $8000) BUT it’s not the route you want to take if you want more than one child. We were hoping to produce a lot of healthy embryos so we could have as large as family as we wanted. This approach usually only produces 1-2 embryos. This means the doctor transfers those, doesn’t have to worry about storing frozen embryos for couples, and will have repeat customers if the couple wants another child. This also equals more money for the doctor… it costs more to do a full IVF cycle (retrieval AND transfer) than it does just to do a frozen transfer. I was pretty crushed when this information came to light. I lost any remaining respect I might have had for that doctor.
Back to why I’m so hormonal…. Ha! THAT was my life during the two retrievals we did. Now that you are MORE than educated on what a retrieval is, I can fast forward thru the emotional and physical toll it took on us. We decided to try one egg retrieval to see how many embryos we would get before moving forward with a second. This took the majority of 2016. You need to go in for tests to make sure you are ready, then take shots/meds to prep for the retrieval (grow the eggs), go in for constant monitoring and bloodwork, and once the retrieval is over, the eggs are fertilized, once you see how many made it through the week, biopsies are taken and sent into a lab and you wait for the test results. Once that is done… you wait for your body to recover (at least a month… maybe two) before you try it again. Lots. Of. Waiting.
On our first attempt, we had 8 follicles. Two of them seemed to be “sucking” up all the drugs and were growing like crazy. We were able to successfully retrieve three that were large enough but only two had mature eggs in them. The GOOD news was that they were able to fertilize both. We were extremely worried at this point since every step of the process, you usually lose some. We had to wait 5 days to see if they would make it.
We received the news on April 22… BOTH EMBRYOS SURVIVED!!! They took biopsies of both and then froze them… and the waiting game began. It takes between 10-15 business days (about 3 weeks) to find out if anything is wrong with the embryos. Lemme tell you, those 3 weeks go by SOOOOOO slowly! Embryos are also ranked as “good” “fair” or “poor” (I think they are more scientific than that, but that give you the general idea.. ha!) Ours were both ranked as “fair.”
On May 10th, we received a phone call with mixed news. One embryo was missing Chromosome 7, which means that it would result in a miscarriage and wouldn’t make it full term. The other embryo… was healthy!!! This means if we were to transfer it, we’d have an 80% chance of it making it to a live birth.
At this point, Jamie and I knew we wanted more than one child, so we decided to move forward with another retrieval session to see if we could get more healthy embryos. We started “round 2” in June. My meds were upped even more to see if we could produce bigger/healthier follicles.
My schedule consisted of me going into the doctor’s office every. single. morning. I would get my blood drawn and then go in for an ultrasound. After heading home, Dr. Greene would review my ultrasound results and my bloodwork, create my medicine protocol for the next 24 hours (what shots to take, when to take them, what pills to take, and when to take them), pass it off to my assigned nurse, Sarah, and she would call me to fill me in. Let’s just say Sarah and I were pretty much BFFs by this point! That girl was outgoing, funny, upbeat, and calmed me down every time I had a freak out! I felt like she was really invested in our success and I was so glad I had her during this process.
I was up to 5 shots in one day and about a week before the scheduled retrieval, she called with the news that my estrogen level was crazy high and that I needed to get off my phone and do ANOTHER shot immediately so my body didn’t think it was time to ovulate (get rid of the eggs). That particular shot burns and I was now lucky enough to have to do it twice a day on top of my other ones. I just kept telling myself it was worth it.
I should also report that by this time… I was a PRO at shots. During our first round, Jamie had to do all of them for me. Fast forward a year and I was able to do all the the “little” shots in my stomach but I left the “trigger” shots and the progesterone shots to him… those were too much for me!
Heading into our 2nd retrieval, we once again had 8 potential follicles but with all the extra drugs, they were larger than the last batch! They were able to retrieve five and four were successfully fertilized. We allowed ourselves to get excited. The thought of being able to freeze multiple embryos just meant we could have a larger family!! It increased our odds… in our favor.
They called us a few days later with bittersweet news. One of the embryos didn’t make it, one DID make it (and was frozen), and the other two were unknown for now. They told us they were going to let them “fertilize” one more day. One had a 50/50 chance of survival and the other wasn’t looking good. We were discouraged but tried to remain hopeful. There was still the “genetic testing” phase the embryos needed to go through so the more we had, the better our chances of having some that would be genetically sound.
They called us the next day to let us know one didn’t make it. They were only able to send biopsies of two embryos off to the lab for testing… and it was time, again, to wait. We were extremely discouraged, but the good news (heck, I would have take ANY good news at that point), was that I was currently off any medication, which meant daily crying was no longer an obstacle. Ha! I was starting to feel a little more like myself… and even though I was disappointed with only having two embryos to test… I think I was “all cried out” and was able to dealt a little better with that news.
News came back a few weeks later. Once again, we had one genetically sound embryo and one that wasn’t. The embryo that didn’t pass this time had an extra chromosome 9. I looked this up and children who are born with this “condition” vary… some are perfectly healthy and others are severely mentally disabled. Most doctors won’t transfer any embryos that have been tested and aren’t genetically healthy… so we were down to just one embryo for this round and two overall.
At this point, after two rounds of retrievals.. our issues were pretty clear. I have a low egg count, my follicles have a hard time growing to a large enough size to BE mature for fertilization (unless drugs are used), and even when we get to the point of fertilizing mature eggs… there is a 50% chance they would make it to a live birth (due to missing or extra chromosomes). It’s safe to say that we would never have had biological children without the help of modern medicine! It was also a relief to finally be able to pinpoint our fertility issues.
Buuuutttt…. before we could think about the next step, which was transferring the embryos back into my body… we needed to get this ole body of mine in tip-top shape! It was now June.. we’d spent half of a year working with Dr. Greene figuring out our issues, growing/retrieving eggs, fertilizing eggs, testing embryos, and we saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Did this take longer than when we were with our first doctor? Sure! But we now finally had answers, we weren’t blindly transferring embryos and hoping they would take, and our hope was renewed. We were more than willing to do anything needed to make sure my body wouldn’t reject any embryo we placed in the uterus in the future.
Soooo….what was next? Polyps! What a fun word… (not!) I had them in my uterus and we needed to remove them before doing a transfer. (Polyps = growths that are usually noncancerous but can be cancerous.) Anything that could potentially prevent a healthy embryo from attaching in my uterus needed to be resolved… just one more step in the process to ensuring success! The surgery was scheduled for the middle of August… another waiting game but there are all sorts of things we needed to do to prep my body. It was scheduled in a local hospital and I was pretty nervous. Up until then, I’d done all of my procedures at the infertility clinic. Being at a hospital freaked me out! In a nutshell, they basically surgically removed the lining in my uterus AND all the polyps.
Once that was done, my body needed to go through a full cycle (ya know, the fun period thing…) but apparently the surgery messed my body up a little. It skipped over a month.. which put us even further behind. Two months later, I had a period and we could finally start down the road to a transfer! At this point, Sarah, my nurse had been with me the whoooole time. I had now “graduated” to be with a FET nurse (frozen embryo transfer)…. And Stacy was my new gal!
Time to start meds again! Once again, a box of meds arrived and it was time to dig in. Lupron shots, Estrogen patches, and Estrace medication… and about a week before the transfer, the dreaded progesterone shots began. Not everyone will have the same medical protocol… it will depend on what your body needs as well as your medical history. I also did a round of intralipids about a week prior. This is supposed to help with implantation. You’re hooked up to an IV and it’s fed into your bloodstream. (A blend of soya bean oil, egg yolk, glycerin and water… intralipids infuse your body with calories.) You usually do this after the transfer as well, if you are successfully pregnant.
And FINALLY…. on November 28th, we went in for our transfer.
THE TRANSFER: Remember how PAINFUL this was with my last doctor? I shared that information with both Stacy (my nurse) and Dr. Greene and they were both a little surprised. This procedure isn’t supposed to be painful. Whhhhaaattt? It was MY turn to be surprised! Before the actual transfer, Dr. Greene scheduled a “mock” embryo transfer. This was completely new to me and now knowing about this, I’m shocked our last doctor doesn’t do this. My advice: Definitely make sure your doctor does this if you are shopping around for fertility doctors!!! I feel like this should be a requirement! The “mock” transfer is a trial run of the actual embryo transfer. It allows the doctor to determine the best “route” to the ideal embryo landing place in your uterus, helps to measure the length from your cervix to that ideal landing place, and ensured that there are no unexpected road bumps along the way (like an undetected fibroid, scar tissue on the cervix, or any other problem that might make the real transfer difficult.)
I took a valium combined with 600mg of ibuprofen and we drove to the clinic with me still being worried but also at peace that it wouldn’t be a horrible painful process like before. I trrrruuullly think that experience with our first doctor traumatized me! I tried really hard to drink a ton of water, but once again, it wasn’t enough.
Luckily, Dr. Greene wasn’t rushing things. I was given a whole lotta water to chug to fill up the ole bladder. I was so grateful the water wasn’t FORCED into me to keep on a schedule. The nurse kept checking my bladder and it was finally ready. I posted a little video below of us RIGHT before we did the transfer.
THIS is the cool part!!!!
Dr. Greene came in with a big smile on his face and asked us if we were ready to get pregnant. With our infertility history, we were super hesitant to get our hopes too high. We told him, “Let’s DO this!” I absolutely loved how they had everything set up! Where I was laying, the room led into another room where the embryologist was with our lil embryo. There was a camera shining down on the table and we were able to see her take the embryo and put it in a “syringe-like” tool. She carefully brought it into the room where we were and handed it to Dr. Greene. We then watched on the monitor as he placed the embryo in my uterus! It was surreal! A tiny little white dot on the screen…. and we were supposedly pregnant!
Of course, then the waiting game begins. Three blood tests to make sure the embryo implanted. One 4 days later, one 8 days later, and then one 11 days later AND a pregnancy test AKA… they tell you if you are truly pregnant. This was a little harder to wait almost 2 weeks…. but we did.
THE NEWS: The phone call came on December 9th, 2016. I remember being on a conference call with Chrissy (our site director and one of my best friends) when my phone started ringing. I saw “Dr. Greene” as the caller and FREAKED! I hurriedly told Chrissy I needed to get this, hopped off our call, and answered. By this time I had had 3 blood tests… the first test was to make sure I had the HCG hormone in my system… and the other two were to make sure my numbers were going UP! If so, that meant the embryo had implanted and we were officially the farthest along in a pregnancy we had ever been. Stacy was on the other end of the phone and you know my pattern… the tears started the second she said, “Congratulations!” With the tears freely flowing, I listened as she shared that not only was my HCG level high, it was CRAZY high. Around 5578… I was in the HUNDREDS with our first IVF attempt, so this just made my heart so happy! I asked her what the odds were that we’d miscarry at this point and she was extremely confident that it was less than 3%. My heart soared and for the first time, I allowed myself to think of the future… and really hope.
After hanging up, I couldn’t focus. I had a huge meeting with my team and a to-do list a mile long… but all I could think about was JAMIE and telling him that he would finally be a dad. I decided to let Chrissy in on our secret so she could hold down the fort (and cover me in upcoming months if I didn’t lose the pregnancy) and she was able to cancel everything for me while I came up with a fun new way to tell Jamie the best news ever. A phone call wouldn’t do… instead, I recruited our little furbaby, Kash, and drove to his work…. here’s a little video of what we did to surprise him.
Fast forward to March…. And we are officially OFF all medicine (besides prenatals) and shots. Can I just tell you that the day we did the LAST progesterone shot was one of the happiest days ever!?!?
We decided to celebrate by taking a “babymoon.” Although a trip to the beach sounded super relaxing… I was feeling pretty bloated and the thought of lounging in a swimsuit was NOT appealing to me. Ha! Jamie planned the best trip ever to Seattle… a place I had never been and was on our bucket list. It was the perfect getaway to forget about everything we had been through the previous year and just have FUN!!!!
We decided to wait longer than the 1st trimester before we announced our good news. With our history, we wanted to make SURE this pregnancy “stuck” before letting loved ones in on the celebrating… we’re now almost 5 months along and it’s time to share our good news with the world! We had the best photoshoot with the darling Callie, of Callie Hobbs Photography and I’ll post some of my favorites below. 😉 I’ll be sharing more in the coming weeks on our Instagram feed. I have also linked up below to another infertility post we have on our site. After losing our first baby, I promised myself that once we were successful at growing our family, I would open up and share my story, in hopes that I would be able to help others out there like us. It was too raw and painful before to talk about, but we’re ready now. I also placed a list of tips below for things to ask potential doctors about if you are shopping around for a fertility doctor. 😉
WHEN YOU GET A PRICE QUOTE FROM A CLINIC, ASK IF THE PRICE INCLUDES:
- Any pre-IVF fertility testing or consultations
- Mock embryo transfer
- Ultrasound monitoring and bloodwork
- Pregnancy testing (hCG beta bloodwork)
- Fertility drugs (this is usually a separate bill)
- Embryo testing (this is usually a separate bill)
- Cryopreservative of any extra embryos
- If they DO store extra embryos as part of the price, find out how long they store them for that price. (some clinics will include storage for a year in their pricing and then start charging you yearly after that for continued storage)
- Any additional assisted reproductive technologies you may need. I.e. ICSI, PGD, assisted hatching, testicular sperm extraction, etc.
A lot of clinics will have a “a la carte” pricing menu. Make sure you find out in depth what everything will cost. Also make sure you AREN’T getting a mini-IVF aka microIVF session (please learn from our mistake!!). Ask for a FRESH transfer quote and a FROZEN transfer quote so you can compare/contrast. With our past, I’m a solid believer in frozen transfers now just because that allows you to test the embryos. I can’t imagine the heartache we would have continued to put ourselves through if we kept doing fresh transfers.
I hope this post was helpful! If you missed Part One and Part Two, I’ve linked them up so you can check them out. We’re SO excited for our little boy to finally get here and I’ll be sharing more of our journey on Instagram and on IG Stories so be sure to follow us along there!
You might also find our post titled, Infertility Support: Tips for Marriage useful. Having support for infertility is so important since infertility often leads to divorce. Keep your marriage strong despite the causes of your infertility!
We love your comments
Hey Tara!
What an incredible and heartbreaking journey you have been on. I am so glad I came across your article as tomorrow I go in for my first appointment with regards to IVF. I am 24 years old and have an extremely low egg count and a few other things along with it. This news broke mine and my husbands heart. However, reading your article has given me hope. I only hope to be as strong as you during the process.
All the best with your baby boy!
Good luck, sweet girl! It’s QUITE a journey… the infertility road. My egg count was (still is) SO low and that one one of our problems. However you grow your family, just know that the Lord is aware of you, loves you, and this is a journey that He will be with you every step of the way. Sending SO much love!!! xoxo
So happy after reading ur story. Big hugs n kisses , you made me have more hope
Thank you so much!! Infertility is definitely a hard trial and I wish you ALL THE BEST! Sending lots of love your way! xo
Tara,
I just finished reading your IVF story. What a trooper you are! What a huge blessing your baby boy is! You still have one frozen egg, are you going to try again?
I am an only child and although I absolutely love it! I think sometimes it’d be nice to have a sibling. A bond that I always wanted, but never got to have. If you don’t have another or are nervous to try being an old child is pretty amazing! Haha! But, there are pros and cons to both. Good luck!
Bailey Rae
Hey Bailey! Thank you for your comment! We will most definitely be trying again for a second baby and if it doesn’t work, we are open to looking into adoption. I’m from a family of six kids and my husband had three kids in his family. I would have loved a large family, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us. We both want more than one kiddo… no matter how they come to us. 😉 xo, Tara
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Tara, I have always loved the Dating Divas site (I think the first time I came upon it was in 2011), but I never knew who the founder was until this year when I started following you on Instagram. After reading your story, I just can’t believe all you were able to accomplish and set your mind to while also going through some of the worst trials of your life. When we wanted to start a family, it took a bit longer than we had expected. I wasn’t even on birth control, but we just weren’t getting pregnant. It was a whole year from when we started trying until we found out we were pregnant, but I cannot even imagine going through what you had to in order to bring a child into this world. You are brave. You are strong. And you are an inspiration to all who are on this infertility journey. Thank you for writing out your entire story.
Oh Charlee!!! Your comment touched my heart. Thank you so much for your kind words. Your words mean so much to me!! I peeked at your blog and I love what you are doing too! It looks like you bring joy to the world in your own way and I’m so grateful that there are others out there who are willing to open up in order to lift others. Keep up the great work!! XOXO
What a gift this has been for me to stumble upon your blog and this post. We started our IVF journey in 2015, for different reasons( my husband has cancer so after radiation and 18 months of chemo we were hesitant on the long term effects this took on his body and sperm) With the assumption we didn’t have infertility issues we thought it was be an easy/ quick journey and boy we were wrong! I’ve had 3 FET ( one being the same day of yours November 28) which obviously failed. I just had another FET yesterday April 21, so I’m hanging on the couch as I read this 🙂 As you know I’m hormonal at the moment I shed some tears, smiled ear to ear and literally laughed out loud. THANK YOU for sharing your story and in doing so inspiring me to keep-on.
Haley! Thank you so much for your sweet comments and sharing your story with me! I’m going to be sending prayers & love your way for this 3rd FET! Infertility is SO hard but I’m so glad that we are able to find others out there who are going thru the same thing and band together. We are totally #SoulSisters in this! Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do to help! Hang in there, babe! xoxo
Tara – Thank you so much for sharing your personal and emotional journey to pregnancy in a real and humorous (where and when appropriate and applicable). Getting pregnant, becoming a mother and building your family seems a “given” and so easy for others that when that “little window of opportunity” eludes you, it can be crushing. You question why you can’t be like others…thank you for sharing that there are more of “us” out there than we realize. That God’s timing, ways and plan are better than ours and that He is with us every step of the way. Blessings and congratulations on your impending bundle of joy!
Oh Nicole! Your message touched my heart! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful response. There really ARE so many of us out there who struggle with this. We just need to find each other so we have a support system. Trusting in the Lord is also a HUGE part of why we were able to stay so optimistic. Sending lotsa love your way! xoxo
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure it took a lot of guts to do and i’m grateful for the education as well.
Just started trying to have a baby with my hubby as well.
You are so welcome! Thank you so much for your comments and wishing you the BEST of luck in your journey towards parenthood! xoxo
Tara – I just have to thank you for coming forward with your story and sharing it. We’ve been struggling with infertility of a different kind. We can’t keep our babies from miscarrying. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this but you are such a blessing. Thank you so much for giving me hope!
Oh Roseanna! I’m so sorry to hear that! Miscarriage is SO heart-breaking! I think we would have miscarried over and over if we weren’t able to pinpoint our issues. Once we started doing genetic testing, we realized that only half our embryos actually had all the chromosomes needed (the ones that didn’t… if we were to get pregnant on our own would most likely not make it full term). I hope you guys receive answers soon! I think parenthood will be that much more precious for those of us who struggled to get there. Hang in there, girly! Sending so much love your way!! xoxo
What a beautiful and precious gift! Thank you for sharing this! I wept as I read it because I know the heartache of infertility and it is such a painful journey but the Lord is faithful to carry us through! My husband and I have been diagnosed by a specialist who was very similar to yours and made us feel utterly hopeless…we sought treatment elsewhere and our second doctor was amazing! However we cannot have children unless God chooses to heal and give us a miracle! I was very broken and bitter for a couple of years and decided that we would just never be parents..if we couldn’t create a baby together it was off the table. Like you I was a teacher and adored children..my hubby & I are children’s ministers and teachers in our church..it seemed so unfair! Why us? However as we kept trying to keep serving and trusting, the Lord began softly tugging at our hearts to consider fostering and adoption. After praying about it we have decided that this is His purpose in our infertility and we are so excited! We have bought a house and are preparing to welcome these little ones into our hearts and home! God makes all things beautiful in His time and he truly brings beauty out of ashes in our lives! Thanks so much for sharing your baby news! We serve a mighty big God who is mindful of us.
Rebekah, thank you so much for sharing your story. We sound like we have such similar journeys! I love how much good the two of you have done in this lifetime. I also love that you have been open to hearing and receiving God’s plan for you. My friend that adopted tried everything as well to try to have a biological child, but they would also need a miracle for that to happen. When they ended up adopting, our hearts and minds were all opened. The little girl that is now their daughter was MEANT to be their daughter. The series of event leading up to them finding each other were absolutely miraculous and the only way to explain it would be to acknowledge the Lord’s hand in it. I truly DO believe the Lord makes SO much more of us than we can make of ourselves and He can also see the bigger picture when we can’t. You two will be such amazing parents!! I’m so hopeful of your future! Sending a lot of love your way! xoxo
Congratulations! I lived through an IF journey almost 20 years ago and finding a support group made such a difference! This post made me cry because it brought back so many memories of living through it all and I’m going to share it like crazy because it was so well-written and I just think most people have NO clue what it’s like to go through it if they haven’t dealt with it themselves! I also cried with happiness because although I don’t know you, I am just so happy for you guys!!
You are the sweetest! I’m so glad you liked the articles. I cried as well… reliving all of it again as I put it to paper was therapeutic but also extremely emotional draining. It’s amazing to look back and see how far we’ve come. We’ve learned so much about ourselves, each other, and the trial of infertility. Thank you so much for your kind words! We are beyond thrilled that we are finally receiving our miracle baby. xoxo
Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I were blessed with two children, and then for some reason we couldn’t get pregnant again. After having two early miscarriages we started doing some tests and taking progesterone monthly. When that wasn’t successful, we went to an infertility center for the full workup and spent a year doing clomid, trigger shots, ultrasounds, blood work, and finally IUIs. Infertility is an emotionally draining roller coaster, and I can only imagine how difficult your journey has been. You truly ARE a warrior! Thank you for helping others understand just how hard this trial is.
Oh Rachel! I’m so sorry you guys are currently dealing with this. It really is a hard road to travel but just know you aren’t alone. There are a lot of us. Please let me know if you ever have any questions. I’m here for ya! So glad you have two beautiful children and I’ll be praying you can figure out the current issues so you are able to grow your family further. Lotsa love! xoxo
Thanks so much for sharing your journey. My husband and I are on the IVF journey and are going to start our shots next month. My husband has muscular dystrophy and because of that has a low sperm count. Also, by doing IVF and then doing genetic testing, we can hopefully have a child that won’t have muscular dystrophy. We have waited 12 years to get to this point on our journey. We had tried to do IVF a couple of years ago but then we both lost our jobs and couldn’t afford it. Your story gives me hope as we continue to move forward with IVF. Thanks so much for sharing!
Lauri! Oh girl! I’m so glad you guys at least have some answers as to why you are struggling with infertility. That was the hard part for us… the “not knowing.” The shots are hard but you can do it! As long as I kept my “eye on the prize” and remembered what this was all for and what would be waiting for us at the end if it worked, I was able to push thru. I’m a huge advocate of genetic testing! So glad you guys are doing that too! Best of luck to you guys! Sending love & prayers your way! xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing this important and vulnerable part of your lives. As someone struggling with secondary infertility who will soon be moving and thus shopping for a new specialist, I appreciate you sharing your journey more than I can find words. It helps me have hope and peace for us. So thank you!
Oh Dani! Hang in there, sweet girl! When you move, start asking around for recommendations on a doctor. That’s how we found our DREAM doctor (finally). Please let me know if you have any questions or need help. I’m here for you! xoxo
Tara, Thank you so much for sharing! I too had lots of fertility issues. I was told I would never carry a baby to term, I now have two rainbow babies. I will keep you and your family in my prayers, light a candle every night for you, too. I cannot wait to see the little one. There is something about a baby, the smell of the top of their heads, their little fingers and toes. And when their cheekies get all chubby, that is the best!!! Take a deep breath, you are in a for a whole new life. God bless you and Jamie <3
Thank you so much for sharing, Jeannie! I love that you have two rainbow babies! So inspiring! We absolutely cannot wait for this new chapter in our lives. Thank you for your sweet words! xoxo
Tara, our first journeys sound so very similar. I got pregnant with our first round of IVF, only to loose it by 7 weeks. Protocol change for the second round but I was over stimulated and had a very rough time. HCG was only in the double digits on that first pregnancy test. My third IVF was a big bomb. Each time it was so heart wrenching. So many trials and tribulations between the last IVF round and now, but we are on a new journey. We are trying the Gestational Carrier route. It is an exhausting journey, going through the hoops of infertility. Only those who have been through it and are going through it really understand.
I am so happy for you! Thanks for putting your story out there. It is not an easy thing to talk about.
I am hoping and praying that I will finally be blessed to joint the ranks of the successful sometime this year. It definitely has not been in my time….I am in my 13th year of hoping, struggling, praying for my miracle.
Oh you SWEET girl! My heart is aching for you! I agree that it’s hard to know what “infertility/IFV life” really looks like unless you are experiencing it yourself. I’m praying you will also see success and I’m hoping that you have been able to find answers along the way. That was one thing that helped me with our “failed attempts” is to try to learn something new each time about what we could try differently the next time. Sending SO much love & prayers your way!!!! XOXO
Such an amazing story! My husband and I went through secondary infertility and it was SO hard! Nothing has challenged my faith like that. We were able to get pregnant with Metformin and Femara (Clomid-like meds), but IVF always loomed in the back of our minds. You and other women who go through IVF truly are warriors! I knew it involved a lot of shots and precise timing and a bit of luck, but I didn’t realize just HOW much went into it! Enjoy that sweet baby!
HALEY! I’m so glad you were able to find success with meds and so glad you didn’t have to take the next step (IVF – shutter… lol). Thank you for sharing and thank you for your sweet words! xoxo
Wow. To say that your story was put into my life for a reason is an understatement. Hubby and I have been TTC for 10 months, and thankfully I listened to an inner feeling I had and went early on to see a specialist rather than waiting the “common year” that they state an overall healthy person will get pregnant within. We are still going through the testing process, but am pretty sure we will have to go through IUI or IVF to conceive. It is hard not to get down and frustrated, especially with individuals constantly asking “when are you going to start a family.” Posting your story helps individuals like myself who are also dealing with infertility, but also serves as education to those who may unknowingly be causing more pain/sadness when posing questions on TTC. The body is an amazing thing, and there are so many amazing things that have to happen in order for someone to conceive, and it’s important to remember that! Thank you for being so open and sharing your story – i am extremely grateful and am sure others are as well. 🙂 Congrats to you and your husband!
You sweet girl! I’m so sorry you are also going through this but also so happy that you guys are being so proactive about it! The waiting is the hardest part. Waiting for test results, waiting to hear what to try next, waiting to find out if the latest procedure worked. It really helped me to have a wonderful support group who knew what I was going thru. If you have friends who are also experiencing infertility who are willing to be open about it or if you can find a local support group, I would highly suggest it! Anything to keep you motivated and happy! Positivity (and our faith) really helped us get through this. Hang in there, babe! Sending love and prayers your way! xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing your story! As someone dealing with unexplained infertility, it is so encouraging hearing stories with happy endings! It’s such a hard road to go down, & i love the term Infertility Warrior!
Oh girly! I’m so sorry you are going through this too! It’s so hard when the exact cause is unknown… I felt discouraged back in our early days of dealing with this because we didn’t even know what to rule out since we had zero answers. The more we tried and the more we learned, the easier it was to narrow down what did/didn’t work and what options were left. I’m hoping you guys receive answers soon! Hang in there, babe! Sending prayers your way! xoxo
Tara, I am in the beginning of writing a book about infertility and would love your contributions if possible. My history is an IVF cycle with my eggs in which none of the embryos survived therefore no transfer; a fresh IVF cycle with donor eggs which resulted in my gorgeous son, a FET in which again the embryo didn’t survive; and 3 FET with donated embryos in which I am now 10 weeks pregnant on the third attempt. So you could say I’ve got a little experience with the journey…
Hey Sarah! Oh wow! It sounds like you’ve had quite the journey as well! You definitely DO have experience with the infertility stuff. I’m so glad you are writing a book about it! I’m not sure I’d be able to contribute but you are more than welcome to reference this story. If you do so, please include our URL and link to the post. I’d love to know when your book comes out! Best of luck to you! xoxo
I am not pregnant nor trying to get pregnant just yet (getting married this Sept). But the manner in which you wrote this journey was so incredible. It truly opened my eyes to the little miracles around us. I have never been particularly immersed in my faith, praying or speaking to God, But the things you described as miracles were eye opening and helped me recognize the miracles in my own life. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in November and compared to some of the stories I have heard, she has had a fairly easy go thus far, no sickness and no pain. My dad was diagnosed with spinal stenosis and doesn’t have an appt to meet with a surgeon until Aug but his symptoms and pain is getting worse and can cause permanent damage. Last week a miracle happened and he by chance met with one of the doctors that is on the surgical team for the doctor he was supposed to see in Aug. They exchanged information and he is trying to get my dad in sooner.
I am so happy that this is happening for you and I truly wish you and your husband the best of luck, your boy will have incredible parents. And thank you for opening my eyes to the miracles in my life!!
Oh Vanessa! Your sweet and thoughtful comment just made my day! Thank you so much! I’m so sorry that both of your parents are experiencing health issues but SO glad to heat that your mom isn’t suffering and your dad was able to meet that doctor miraculously! There truly are miracles happening around us on a daily basis. I love reflecting on my week each Sunday to try to remember all of my blessings. When I do that, I find that it’s a lot easier to spot things that ARE miracles. Things that have absolutely no logical way of making sense. I’m so glad you are seeing them in your live as well. Sending SO much love your way for you and your whole family! XOXO
Tara- the Holy Spirit led me to read this testimony today and encouraged my heart. Thank you for sharing. I know too well the long and tiring road of infertility and I’m honored to walk with warriors like you. Precious baby is so loved already!!
Oh Delilah! I’m so sorry you are part of the “infertility” club but so glad this post was able to help you! Thank you so much for your sweet words! Please let me know if I can help in any way. Sending love and prayers your way! xoxo
What a beautiful story, so happy for you. Youve shared many great details that will surely help lots of couples out there.
Thank you so much, Kristen! You are the sweetest! xo
Thank you for sharing your story and giving a face to an issue that many of us are or have dealt with but rarely talk about.
After my second child was born, my husband and I wanted a third close in age to the second (the prior 2 had over a 5 year age difference). After more than 4 years of trying, I went to a fertility doctor. Before I was allowed an UIU or IVF, I had to take Femela for 3 cycles and then Clomid for a few cycles. On my last month of Clomid, my blood work showed I didn’t ovulate in September. Later that week, we meet with the doctor and was scheduled to start IVF in December. I was waiting for my cycle to start that month, so I could schedule an appointment to determine if my polyps returned. I was ready to get the ball rolling. My cycle was late, so I told my husband that I was going to take a pregnancy test. Every time I took one in the past, my cycle would start the next day. When I picked up the test from the counter to throw away I saw it said “pregnant”. I was in shock. According to my early ultrasound, I got pregnant 3 days before my cycle was due. I’m finally in my third trimester and due the first week of June.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and wishing you a happiness on the months to come! When is your due date?
Also, looking forward to seeing future pregnancy post and printable and crafting ideas.
CHRISTY!! I love that you have a true miracle baby! That is the BEST news!!! We will have babies close in age. Our little one is due August 16th. Congratulations to you too!! xoxo
Tara, you are for sure a warrior. Thank you SO much for sharing. I cried reading this. I really really needed to read this right now. Thank you for opening up your heart and sharing. You give me hope! I’m learning patience and trusting in the Lord’s timing. Thank you for your strong example. I’m very happy for you and your husband!
Oh Chelsea! You are so sweet! I’m guessing you are struggling with infertility as well. Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can help in any way. I was SO blessed with an amazing support system of women who had been through this that I could go to when I had questions. I’m an open book if you ever need one. Sending a lot of love and prayers your way! You’ve GOT this!! xoxo
Wow! What an amazing story! Thanks for sharing those hard times and the good times (yay!). I am so excited & happy for you and Jamie! My husband and I haven’t been married for long but I will seriously learn from your wisdom and experience!
Thank you so much, Alise! xoxo
Just… tears. I’m so grateful for you, Like, I can’t even put it into words. Just know, I’m crying and I think you’re amazing.
Thank you so much, sweet girl!! The feeling is mutual! xoxo
Tara…what a journey! i was in tears reading your story and in even more tears at the outcome. Hope the rest of the pregnancy is smooth and can’t wait to see the most adorable baby in the world.
Oh Kiki!!! You are the sweetest! Thank you so much! Your kind words mean so much to me. xoxo
Major congrats to you and your husband! What a joy! Your story is inspiring and I am so thankful you share Everything! You mentioned in part 1, you wish you had asked for a healthy egg count. At what point do you recommend that to other women trying? Is it based on age or depending on how long you try with little success? Thank you for your advice!
Hey Em!! You are so welcome! With the egg count – blood tests can predict how many eggs you “should” have, but as you can see from my story – my blood work results didn’t match my actual egg count at all! The most accurate way to see what you are producing each month would be to have a doctor check you right before you ovulate (discard the follicles/eggs). I’m not sure if a regular OB would do that or if you would need to have a fertility specialist do it. They should be able to see your follicles and at the fertility clinics, they can actually see the SIZE of your follicles. A mature follicle is size 16mm or larger. It would be great to see what your body can naturally do without any fertility drugs. My recommendation is if you have tried for a year and haven’t seen any success.. I would JUMP on being as proactive as possible. It’s a complete personal decision. If you are desperately trying to start a family and you have been actively tracking your ovulation cycle and are intimate when it’s the right time each month and aren’t getting pregnant… I’d even start in on working with your doctor after a few months. It never hurts to jump on it! (Also – women produce less and less eggs the older they get. Once you hit your 30’s, it plummets… so for us, the sooner the better!) Let me know if you have any other questions. XOXO
Tara, you are a rock star and so is your husband! This is such an inspiring story. I’m so glad you’ve held on to your faith and are sharing about your miracles! We need it this world. I really needed to read this today. I cried right along with you! Wishing you the best and enjoy the being pregnant it is really so fun to have that little one so close to you all the time. Hugs!
EMILY! Thank you so much, sweet girl!! I’m so glad you liked what I wrote. I feel like I put my heart into sharing our story. It’s been SO emotional just putting it to paper. I’m definitely enjoying the pregnancy so far (minus the nauseousness and headaches. ha!) But it’s seriously worth it!!!! We are sooooo excited!!!
Tara! My heart is bursting for you. So happy for your sweet family. Wish I could give you the biggest bear hug. You’re going to be the best momma. One of my favorite quotes (that I found during my own struggle with infertility) comes to mind:
““Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come.”
― Joseph F. Smith”
XOXO, Shelley
Oh Shelley! How I love your guts!!! I still remember sitting in your living room and you sharing your miraculous story about your babies. It gave me hope! You’ve been such a wonderful friend through the years. Thank you so much for sharing that quote. I LOVE it so much!!!
This made me cry. I am so happy for you! Your little baby is so precious.
Thank you so much, Kaitlyn. That means a lot. I’ll cry with you! lol The tears just won’t stop. We just feel so blessed! xoxo
Soooooo happy for you guys!!! Congratulations!
Thank you so much, Nisha!! We are SO excited!!! Love you! xoxo
I am so over the moon for you both! I just love your trust is our Father’s plan and amazing outlook. This baby is so blessed to have such amazing parents who jumped through hoops to have him. You will be an amazing mother. Thankful for the example you are and all the help you’ve given others. So happy for your family!!!
Thank you so much, Kristie! Your sweet comments mean a lot! I truly hope I can be the mother this little one deserves. xoxo
Tara & Jamie, we are beyond excited for you guys! I was so happy to hear this news this morning! Thank you for sharing your story and your inspiring examples. You will be EXCELLENT parents. Much love to you, with fond memories of our time in Las Vegas.
KARINA!!! Thank you so much for your kind words! We loved our time in Vegas as well and I’m so glad our paths were able to cross before we moved. You are one amazing mother and an example I will think of as we get closer to being parents as well. Love your guts! xoxo
You are SO strong and courageous Tara! I love you to pieces and feel so blessed to have you in my life! You have truly shown me through the years that we don’t get to pick all our trials but we can pick our reactions. You are gorgeous inside and out and I’m excited for you!! XOXO
Thank you so much, Ferren! I know we both have completely different trials, but just know that you are a source of strength to me as I go through mine. I love you to pieces! xoxo
Congrats Tara, that’s SO exciting!!!! You will be an amazing mom and I’m so glad you chose to share your story with everyone! Your announcement photos are ADORABLE, but I wouldn’t expect anything less because you and Jamie are adorable!
Amberly! You are the sweetest ever! Thank you so much. That really means a lot to me. xoxo
Tara – Congratulations to you & your husband!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I read the whole way through, and you are just amazing! Loved the links, and videos too – such faith from them all.
Looking forward to your updates, and I wish you both the absolute best.
Louise xx
Thank you so much, Louise! You are so sweet! It had been quite the journey and I’m so glad we have record of it! As I was writing, I was worried this was just WAY too long. Ha! I’m glad it’s helpful to others! xoxo
Wow! I’m completely blown away! Tara, I’m so happy that you were able to share this post because I think every woman needs to read it, especially pre-baby couples like me and my hubby. My husband and I haven’t started trying yet but infertility is always in the back of my mind and while the process sounds grueling it also would be worth it for a baby. Thank you so much for posting this and providing an in depth view on infertility. My heart is with you and your husband. ❤️
Thank you so much, Kristen! I’m so glad this was helpful! There were so many times I wished I could have someone sit with me and explain things every time we came up against something new we didn’t understand in the infertility world. I’m SO grateful I had my “barren bunch” friends and I’m hoping I can provide that for others. Good luck when you start trying! Please let me know if I can ever help. xoxo