Teamwork in Marriage
When a couple gets married, it’s said many times in the ceremony and even in their vows occasionally – two shall become one. As husband and wife, we are supposed to live one life… together. The problem with many couples is that once our lives get busy with jobs, children, and life’s many responsibilities, we start living two separate lives alongside each other. Maybe the wife handles the housework and the children, while the husband goes to work everyday and handles the bills, or vice versa. Each spouse is taking care of their own particular responsibilities, but they are not working together toward one goal – a happy healthy marriage. Something is missing and that “something” is teamwork!
I hear it all the time. My friends will complain that their husbands don’t have any idea how much they work everyday tending to the children, and then he comes home and expects her to take care of the children all evening too. Or a husband will get a bill in the mail, and stress for the next week about how to find the money to pay it, without thinking that maybe his wife might have an idea of how to stretch the budget and make it work. Oftentimes we find ourselves stretched to the max with a “to do” list a mile long. We are focused on marking the next thing off our list, and feeling overwhelmed at the one hundred things after it. Our spouses are here to help, but most of the time we never even ask. We struggle trying to do it all on our own.
Whether it’s raising children, or paying bills, teamwork skills are essential to a marriage. It promotes bonding and trust between a husband and wife, and later a family. But teamwork doesn’t just happen. It’s not a natural instinct. We’re taught from a young age to be independent. Teamwork skills require work! Making an effort to communicate with each other, and asking for help when we need it is key. Asking for help requires some vulnerability and humility. Remember to be specific when asking for help. And just like we teach our children, using manners makes a huge difference. Work together to take care of the yard work, don’t expect your husband to be entirely responsible for that area of your home. Husbands, if you have small children, taking a few midnight feeding times if possible or changing a few dirty diapers without being asked will do wonders for a marriage. Teamwork is often found in the simplest of tasks, and offering help to your spouse encourages them and lets them know they are worth your time.
One last thing, don’t play the blame game. Blaming each other instead of working together to resolve an issue only intensifies the difficult situation and isolates your spouse. Teamwork requires you to be unselfish, responsive to your spouse’s needs. True teamwork can bring about a bountiful marriage. It allows you to grow as a person, and as a couple. Before you know it, you’re operating as a well oiled machine with all parties left feeling appreciated and fulfilled!