The Importance of Self-Care for the Sake of Your Marriage

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is putting effort into improving your own health and well-being. However, for many, just hearing “self-care” can make you cringe. Carving out time for yourself is another thing to add to the never-ending to-do list of tired, overworked moms and dads. Self-care Sunday sounds great–for someone with more time. The elaborate self-care activities all over social media look incredible–for someone without all my obligations. And a relaxing weekend away sounds divine–if I could afford it!

An overworked mom in need of self-care. | The Dating Divas
Self-care ideas for tired parents

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Do you also feel that self-care is a task you never get to? If you feel helpless to fight back against the burnout in your life, just wait! This post is going to change everything for you.

Why Self-Care is Crucial in a Relationship

Prioritizing your own health and happiness is easy to overlook. After all, you have so many other things you are juggling. However, if you are constantly putting other people’s well-being above your own, eventually, you will run out of fuel and have nothing more to give. In addition, your marriage will ultimately suffer because you didn’t take care of yourself first.

Imagine that any act of self-care plugs you in and recharges you. If you take the time to recharge yourself, you will have battery power left for your relationship at the end of the day. However, if you let the stress of the day drain you to 0%, you will be too tired or irritable to give anything to your spouse— and if this pattern repeats day after day, will lead to severe disconnect. Over time you will notice you feel distant and discontent in your marriage. So with that in mind, recharge yourself with self-care activities that give you that little boost you need and your marriage will avoid major slumps!

What is self-care in a relationship and how does it help couples find happiness? | The Dating Divas
A happy couple that prioritizes self-care

The bottom line is that taking the time to give our minds and bodies the nourishment and care they need make us feel better and show up better in our relationships. So both you and your partner should prioritize self-care!

Self-Care Ideas That Actually Stick

I once heard that you should do three things every day just for you. Initially, I thought that wasn’t doable. I have kids, extracurricular activities, dinners to cook, a house to clean, a busy husband to support, and much more. Between drop-offs, pick-ups, and when I’m not running errands, I should create a rose petal bath? It’s just not going to happen. However, the more significant issue for me was that I didn’t even know what I could do that would be just for ME. I’m pretty certain hobbies and interests of my own expired many years ago.

Starting small, I realized that there are things that immediately make me feel lighter and more joyful. For example, playing a song I know every word to and singing it out loud. I also love doing funny dance moves in front of my kids and hearing their giggles. Even a pair of super soft socks brings me a little burst of joy.

A couple dancing as a form of self-care. | The Dating Divas
A husband and wife with more energy after individual self-care

So if you are ready for the magic of self-care, try this idea of doing just three simple things you love every day. This one concept is transformative.

Self-Care Activities by Category

To help you get started, we will give you a massive list of self-care ideas; some may seem so minor you may wonder how they even made the list. But that is what this post is all about. Self-care can be anything that makes you feel good. It can take one second, but if it improves your day or mood, it is worth it!

A mom that is happier after doing three self-care activities every day. | The Dating Divas
Self-care benefits the whole family

The self-care activities are going to be categorized into four groups. As you start regularly prioritizing self-care, you may become more attuned to your feelings and needs. When this happens, you can choose to be more intentional in finding self-care activities that will nourish you most at that moment. For example, if you struggle with self-esteem or have noticed negative thoughts about your body, choose an activity from the physical self-care category. This will allow you to do something that makes you feel happy and create a positive experience within your body. Likewise, if you are feeling anxious or extra overwhelmed, choose from the mental self-care category.

Try to evaluate what you feel most deprived of in your life and relationships. Then, look over the list of self-care ideas below and choose something that could feed you in those areas you are feeling deprived. After that, make a goal as a couple to do three things every day that make you happy. You will notice a boost in your mood and positive changes in your relationship.

Simple Self-Care Ideas

Physical Self-Care

  • Give a long hug
  • Focus on your breath
  • Dance around the kitchen
  • Kiss your spouse for six seconds
  • Take a nap
  • Go on a walk
  • Swing
  • Exercise
  • Eat something that makes you feel good
  • Go to bed early
What is self-care? Physical activity! | The Dating Divas
Self-care can be as simple as stretching your muscles
  • Sleep in
  • Practice Yoga
  • Stretch
  • Do skincare
  • Move slower than usual
  • Climb a tree
  • Tap on your body
  • Smell a flower
  • Stand outside in the rain

Mental Self-Care

  • Go outside and fill your lungs with a deep breath
  • Write in a journal
  • Read a book
  • Paint something
  • Walk barefoot on the grass
  • Hold a pet
  • Do a puzzle
  • Create something
  • Set a goal
  • Craft
Self-care activities like painting help fulfill your creative needs. | The Dating Divas
Painting and drawing are great self-care activities
  • Crochet
  • Write something
  • Set boundaries
  • Get in the sunshine
  • Write a letter
  • Redecorate/repurpose a space
  • View some art
  • Do an act of kindness
  • Watch leaves dance in the trees
  • Learn something new
  • Clear something off of your to-do list

Emotional Self-care

  • Snuggle up in a cozy blanket
  • Identify your biggest feeling and tell yourself it’s okay
  • Call someone you love
  • Message someone you haven’t talked to in a while
  • Bake something that makes you happy
  • Let your emotions move through you (laugh, cry, etc.)
  • Volunteer for an organization
  • Relax with a massage
  • Go to dinner with a friend
  • Make conversation with a stranger
Self-care ideas for busy parents. | The Dating Divas
A woman that uses self-care to recharge and reconnect to herself and her spouse
  • Take a warm bath
  • Forgive yourself
  • Vocalize what you need
  • Listen to music
  • Smell something you love
  • Buy yourself flowers
  • Genuinely smile at someone
  • Look at old pictures from a happy time

Spiritual Self-Care

  • Meditate
  • Pray
  • Reflect on a spiritual experience
  • Think of something you are grateful for
  • Read a poem
  • Repeat an affirmation
  • Visit a place that helps you feel peace
  • Read scripture
  • Hum a song as you do your errands
  • Ask for help
A woman that understands the importance of self-care. | The Dating Divas
A woman knows how to prioritize self-care
  • Spend time alone in the quiet
  • Light a candle and watch the flame
  • Look at the stars
  • Notice how your body is feeling
  • Practice mindfulness
  • Remind yourself how small you are compared to the universe
  • Consider your gratitude for all the things that have gone your way

Making Self-Care a Priority

Revive a little life back into your relationship by taking a little extra time each day to do something just for you. Your health will improve, your mood will get a boost, and your relationship will get the jump start it needs. Once you take small steps to improve your health and happiness, you will be more motivated to take significant steps toward creating healthy habits that should be a priority in your marriage.

You can do a whole self-care Sunday with rose petals baths and a full body massage, or you can begin the habit of doing three simple self-care activities every day. What is self-care going to look like for you?

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The great loves of my life are my family, maple bars, and hand sanitizer. I’ve been married to my very own dreamboat of a soulmate for ten years. I think that there is nothing in the world that's better than laughing so hard you can barely breathe. In our family we have a policy of making that happen at least once a day.

Learn more about Lauren
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