If you have come here wondering how to fix a broken marriage, you are in the right place. Our passion is empowering couples to dig a little deeper, put in that extra bit of effort, and fight for the type of marriage that they want. Marriage problems vary. There is a whole slew of honesty and trust issues that can infest a relationship. Financial struggles can put an unbearable strain on things. Maybe you just aren’t kind to each other anymore and every interaction has spiraled into an ugly disagreement. Whatever you are going through, we want to show you how to reconnect with your spouse. Yes, it’s going to take work, and yes, it’s a two-way street. However, it starts with you. You can turn things around. The content of this post can be applied today, right now, and you will notice a difference in your marriage.
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The first step in how to fix a broken marriage is identifying the core issues. What are the hotspots that make both of you tense and unwilling to compromise? Have you taken time to step back and see it from your partner’s point of view? Just about every disagreement could benefit from one, or both, of you taking a moment to step back and fully understand where your partner is coming from. The following are different techniques for easing the tension and ultimately finding more effective ways to communicate.
How to Fix a Marriage
Recognizing your own shortcomings are a major key in fixing a broken marriage. Almost every marriage could benefit from the suggestions below for having a better relationship. Make goals for yourself. Starting today means you are already on your way to a better relationship by tomorrow. Pick one of these suggestions and throw real effort behind it. Perhaps make yourself a timeline, and stick to each suggestion for a full week. If you do this with genuine effort, you will see a difference.
Controlling Your Reactions Can Save Your Marriage
The way you react to conflict plays a major role in the health and overall wellbeing of your marriage. When your spouse brings something up that irritates you, how do you react? Do you immediately roll your eyes, or raise your voice? Imagine the power a deep breath and a conscious choice to speak calmly could have in fixing a broken marriage. If you fly off the handle and react so severely to everything that is said, then your marriage will be trampled by conflict and anger. You are powerful. You can choose to control your reaction, thereby controlling the situation. Science shows us that we naturally mimic the emotion and body language of those we are around. If you want a gentler, more kind partner, then you need to adopt those attributes. They’re contagious!
Validating Your Spouse’s Feelings Can Strengthen Your Marriage
We can get so caught up in being “right” and “winning” an argument that we stop listening and go right in for the kill. However, in that situation, no one wins. Taking time to develop the habit of validating your partner’s feelings will change everything. Saying “I understand” does not mean that you agree. You can still disagree, but understand why your partner feels a certain way. Even more powerful is the effect of listening to your partner’s point of view fully (without trying to conjure up a rebuttal) and then saying, “you’re right.” Try this. Watch their body language completely change. More importantly, watch your broken marriage begin to be repaired. Being heard by your partner is one of the greatest feelings. Like a breath of fresh air filling the lungs all the way to the brim. Certainly, it’s a way better feeling than defeating the one you love.
Verbalize Your Appreciation to Save Your Marriage
No matter how bad things have gotten, or how far from fixing your broken marriage you are, there is still something in your spouse that you admire. There is something that originally drew you to them that is still there today. Verbalize it. There are so many times we think a generous thought about our spouses, but then just let it fade away, never letting them know it. Don’t suppress that goodness! Hearing a genuine compliment from your spouse has far-reaching effects. A sincere compliment or show of appreciation changes the course of their day. It changes the way they feel about themselves and the way they feel about you. Not only will it lift and inspire your spouse, but it will also train your brain to focus on the positive. Also check out The 5 Love Languages to learn how to make your spouse feel appreciated!
Look for the Good in Order to Strengthen Your Marriage
Train your mind to focus on the good attributes and actions of your spouse. Focus on what they are doing right and the efforts that they do make. Rather than keeping a running list in your head of their mistakes and shortcomings, redirect your negative thoughts to give credit for any positive effort, no matter how small. Stop yourself when your thoughts begin to spiral downward. Instead, redirect your thoughts upward. Give your sweetheart the benefit of the doubt. Also, try to see things from their perspective. If you had the day or experiences that they have had, how would that feel and how would that affect your feelings.
How to Reconnect with Your Spouse
Fixing selfish, or toxic habits is the first step in fixing a broken marriage. The next step to save your marriage is to reconnect with your spouse. A little effort goes a long way in healing wounds and reigniting your connection. Again, this is something you can start right now!
Create Happy Memories
Every day is a new chance to create a story that you will tell over and over again. If things have been messy, or ugly in the past, choose to move forward making happy memories today! Begin fixing your broken marriage by choosing to get off of your phones and get off of your couch. Instead, get out there and make new memories! When you reflect on your year it will be filled with happiness and new fun memories, rather than memories full of tension and arguments stemming from a damaged marriage. What could you do to bring back the playfulness? Try out one of our at-home dates, out of the house dates, or go crazy with a sexy date!
There is serious power for fixing a broking marriage in reminiscing. Reconnecting over shared happy memories reminds you of those incredibly happy feelings. Use touch, taste, smell, sight, hearing to reignite memories you have together. Pictures, food, or music could help bring back the memories and emotions of your favorite times together. Reminiscing makes relationships stronger by linking the past to the future.
Do the Little Things
If you are looking for how to fix a broken marriage, start by doing the little things. For example, rub their back, hold hands, touch, kiss–more than just a peck. Surprise your spouse with a gift, or a little note. These are the little things that add up to a happy relationship. So, to get yourself off to a running start you could try doing a 30 Day Love Challenge and complete quick and easy romance ideas to help you work towards an even happier, hotter relationship every single day. If you need a kick start for showing love every day you could also try the 10 Minute Marriage Challenge and both of you can get texts right to your phone with ideas for showing your spouse love and growing your relationship.
Save My Marriage
As simple as it sounds if you want to save your broken marriage, you just need to try. So that means putting in some effort! No matter how big the problems feel, you can change the course of your relationship. A step in the right direction, and then another, leads to a complete change of course. It takes time and consistent effort, but you can do it! Decide you will fight for your broken marriage, and then fight! Use these tips and reconnect with the one you love. The payoff for your hard work will be more than you could have hoped for as you develop new habits and become the best version of yourself.