Tips for Building Relationship intimacy and Closeness
All of us here at the Dating Divas are so passionate about our mission to strengthen marriages and families. We have some of the most fun and unique date ideas, family activities, and relationship intimacy ideas in the form of sexy dates and games that not only keep the spark alive, but totally fan it into a flame.
There are many different forms of intimacy, especially in a marriage. While quality time together and sexual intimacy are so important, we also believe that emotional closeness is a huge and important part of relationship intimacy in marriage. In fact, a study in 2018 found that partners being emotionally accessible to one another was more important than sexual accessibility, especially for women.
Another study from 2012 found that emotional intimacy was the biggest predictor of sexual satisfaction in couples with sexual arousal problems. In other words, feeling emotionally close with your spouse could actually improve your sex life!
In this article, we will discuss what emotional closeness looks like and how to build an emotional connection with your spouse.
The Importance of Emotional Closeness in Marriage
New relationships can be fun and exciting, but closeness grows over time and turns a relationship into something strong and wonderful. While all forms of intimacy can strengthen your bond, emotional intimacy only occurs when both people feel loved, understood, and respected. A couple will bond even more when they feel they can be wholly themselves together.
It’s no secret that marriage has a way of showing off your flaws in a way that dating just doesn’t. Suddenly, dirty laundry on the floor or the way you squeeze a tube of toothpaste can become the little things that grate on your partner’s nerves. A foundation of emotional closeness is a protection against those little problems and a shelter from the storm when the big problems arise.
Emotional relationship intimacy is so important because it provides a sense of security for both people in the marriage. You won’t worry so much about losing the relationship when you are yourself, for better or for worse.
Luckily, building emotional intimacy isn’t some daunting task — it can and should be a lot of fun, and will create some of the most rewarding memories in your marriage.
Ways to STrengthen Your Emotional INtimacy
The scary thing for a lot of us is that building emotional intimacy with your spouse requires being vulnerable. Vulnerability is hard, but the only way to feel that closeness with your spouse is to work through it. One of my favorite memories of early marriage is staying up late into the night just talking. Something about the dark makes it easier to open up and be honest. We learned so much about each other that way, and it was totally worth the tired mornings the next day.
Although shared experiences and time together can create closeness, if you’re searching for how to build an emotional connection, a lot of times just talking is the answer. Be open with each other and be willing to share the things you’ve never told anyone else — even the things you are embarrassed about.
I have always found the idea of 36 Questions to make people fall in love completely fascinating. It goes back to the ideas of happy arranged marriages and searching for soul mates — can you really fall in love just by asking each other questions? The creator of this list of questions believes so. Imagine the impact these conversations can have on your marriage! You’ve already chosen each other, you’re already in love. Could these questions help build a closeness you’ve been seeking?
Of course, we’ve come up with a few of our own intimate questions to ask your partner. Try a couple of these and see if you can get the conversation flowing.
- Who was your best friend growing up?
- What is your first memory?
- What did you most look forward to about being married?
- What is something I do that you love?
- What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
- What makes you feel loved and respected?
More Paths to a Stronger Marriage
Here at The Dating Divas, we love love. Strengthening marriages is our main goal! Try one of our awesome resources for building emotional closeness with your spouse:
- Sign up for one of our 10 Minute Marriage Challenge programs for some helpful and unique romance ideas to help remind you both to put each other first every day.
- Our Conversation Starters App will give you more great intimate questions like the ones above to ask your partner and get you two chatting.
- Check out the Ultimate Intimacy App to help strengthen both physical and emotional intimacy.
- Is writing your style? Try this cute Love Email Club idea.
- Check out our Romance Planner for Couples for some great intimate questions to ask your partner.
- Set some goals and try the 21 Day Habit Challenge for Couples.
- Start with some Romantic Ways to Say I Love You.
Finally, here are a few extra intimacy ideas to help you feel close when being vulnerable can feel a little intimidating:
- Try talking in the dark. The darkness can help you open up and be more vulnerable.
- Go for a drive and talk while you drive.
- Set some time to spend together every day to intentionally work on growing closer together.
- Schedule kid-free date nights.
- Put away phones and turn off the TV. Focus completely on each other.
- Call or send texts when you aren’t together. Sometimes it’s easier to open up when you aren’t face-to-face.
- If your partner is unwilling to open up, dive in fully yourself. Show them you are willing to be vulnerable and commit to focusing on what you can control — your own actions in your marriage.
Choose any of these ideas and watch your marriage grow. We are so excited to see what your relationship can become when you are committed to growing your emotional relationship with your spouse.