Learn How to Give a Sensual Massage With 15 Helpful Tips

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Sensual Massage Tips and Tricks

The art of massage, particularly sensual massage, often takes a backseat when it comes to intimacy. The truth is, anyone can give a sexy massage! All it takes are a few tips and the ability to enjoy it as much as your spouse does!

Not to mention, there is something so sweet (and sexy) about a sensual / erotic massage from your spouse. Their intimate touch, loving hands, and desire to make you happy all come into play when you’re together enjoying a sexy massage.

To help you experience the pleasure of a sensual, sexy massage, we’re sharing some ideas with you on how to give a professional-caliber, adult massage right in your own home. Keep scrolling for tips on how to set the mood for a romantic massage, professional massage tips, and at the very bottom, 5 killer tips for giving a sexy massage that will rock their world!

Learn how to give a sensual massage with these 15 tips

How to Set the Mood for a Sexy Massage

For starters, setting the mood for your sexy massage is crucial for success! Not only will this help your spouse unwind and feel comfortable, but taking time to set up a special experience for your spouse will help YOU get excited for what’s to come!

Take time to prepare for a sensual (aka sexy) massage at home. | The Dating Divas
Set the mood for a sensual massage.

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Here are a few tips to get you started:

1. The ambiance is key. When giving a sensual massage, your environment needs to be serene and comfortable for both of you. Even if you are a little insecure about your skills, the atmosphere is of the utmost importance. It will create an environment of relaxation and comfort, which will help your spouse feel calm so they will be able to focus on their more intimate senses.

2. Turn your bedroom into an oasis. You can set up shop in any room, but if you have kids and want to ensure privacy. Make sure that the room is de-cluttered and clean. It is hard to enjoy the romance of a steamy massage when the space you’re in feels dirty.

3. Scatter tea light candles around the room. Soft lighting creates a feeling of seduction and intrigue. Decorate with some rose petals, lay down a clean sheet or towels (using massage oils can make a mess), and have some soft, calming music playing in the background (Google “ambient noise” if you need ideas). You can also use a blindfold to block out other distractions. If you’re up for massages in the tub, we love the floating tea candles in this adorable couples massage kit!

4. Draw your spouse a nice, warm bath. Baths are always a good way to start out the night. Let your spouse relax while you set up for the massage. This will also help to warm up the muscles and relax them before you begin.

How to Give a Sensual (or Sexy) Massage

Whether you are the giver or the receiver, a sensual or naked massage can be a great way to relax, romance, and connect with your spouse.

Romantic ideas for a sexy and blissful night at home. | The Dating Divas
How to give a sensual massage at home.

5. Rub your hands together to warm them up. Warm the oil in your hands before putting it on your spouse, or take a tip from the spas and immerse the bottle in a bowl of warm water. I highly recommend Bath & Body Works Stress Relief Massage Oil from their Aromatherapy line. I also have a small travel candle in the same scent that I will light and put close by to give a relaxing, calming aroma. Another great option is the Kama Sutra massage oil line–it’s edible :).

6. Start out with a light touch. Remember that your objective is to arouse, so regulate your pressure accordingly. Start with some long strokes with no oil down from the head to the toes. Touch very lightly, so you are just touching the hairs of the body. You can even try using fur or a feather duster to start the massage.

7. Massage the back with oil. Place some oil on your hands and massage the back with long, easy strokes. You can position yourself behind their head and stroke down the back near the spine and back up the sides. The Divas are big fans of the Kama Sutra brand massage oil candle. You can also use a Heart Warming Massager. It’s a heated massage pad that is perfect for relieving muscle tension, reducing stress, and soothing your aches–plus, it’s reusable! Making sure that both you and your partner are warmed up is essential for a sexy massage.

8 Start slowly, then increase the pressure. Once the muscles have warmed up and are relaxed, increase the pressure. Knead the muscles around your spouse’s shoulders and neck using your thumb and forefingers. Most of us hold a lot of tension in our neck and shoulders. Keep in mind that you want to follow the flow of the muscles, not work against them. Pay attention to what pressure points your spouse is responding to.

9. Massage everywhere. You can massage the wrists, fingers, ears, the back of the neck, and the insides of the elbows and knees–these areas are probably rarely given any attention. Rub your fingers over your spouse’s scalp, massage and rub every finger and every toe until your spouse is fully relaxed. Feel free to rub, kiss, lick, and even nibble on these neglected regions. Your spouse will feel appreciated by your attention to detail. If you have a problem with your hands tiring too quickly, give a sensual massage using other parts of your body. Your hands aren’t your only tools; you can make good use of your oiled arms, chest, and stomach. This is the concept behind erotic massage, of course.

10 . Don’t expect a massage in return. Your spouse may be so relaxed after getting a sensual massage from you that they are unable to reciprocate immediately after you finish. That doesn’t mean they won’t reciprocate your loving affection later on.

BONUS: Steamy and Romantic Massage Ideas and Tips

Take time to find out what feels good to your spouse with these sensual massage hints. | The Dating Divas
Romantic massage ideas for him and her to try in the bedroom.

For women: Wondering what is appropriate attire for you to wear while giving a sexy massage? Try a silk chemise. Your husband will LOVE to have that silkiness glide across his skin while you are massaging his back muscles. Or, turn up the heat even more by stripping down and giving a naked massage. The key is to feel good about yourself as you give it–that’s the secret to unforgettable sensual massage.

For men: Women like to be touched, especially by their significant other. It is comforting and stimulating at the same time. You want to relax her and to calm her–so don’t press too hard. Be alert to her body’s responses to you, and you can’t go wrong.

Sexy Massage Tips

Now you know the basics, but if you want your sensual massage to go beyond relaxation, we have a few more very sexy tips for when you’re giving an erotic massage.

1. Give a naked massage. Skip the clothes altogether and show your spouse exactly where you see things headed. Giving a massage naked allows you to rub and press more than just your hands against their body.

2. Turn on a sexy playlist. Rather then ambient sound, search for a sexy music playlist on Spotify or YouTube. If your goal is to create a truly sensual experience, music can get you there.

3. Lightly graze the more sensitive areas. During your sexy massage, rub down each part of the body. However, when you come to the areas that a professional masseuse would leave alone, gently glide your fingers over it. This taunting move will take your naked massage to the next level.

4. Use something other than your hands. While you are rubbing down each muscle, and teasing them with gentle touches all over, change things up by using a body part other than your hands. Your lips, your tongue, your teeth… all the way down to your toes! Get your whole body involved in this sensual massaging moment.

5. Let them choose where they want to be touched. After rubbing down your lover, let them choose one last area for you to focus your attention on. At this point, you have built the anticipation and held all the power. Now you can let your partner choose where they want to be touched/rubbed/kissed.

Sensual Massage FAQ

How to Give a Sensual Massage

Set the mood, give without expecting to receive, and start soft and gentle, moving to deeper more sensual touch as time progresses.

When to Give a Sensual Massage

Sensual massage can be welcome during times of stress, or tranquility. Read your partner’s body language and determine the best timing. You should also talk to your partner and tell them that you want to give them this romantic massage.

What Items Do You Need to Give a Sensual Massage?

– A comfortable space
– Massage oil or lotion
– Towels for clean up
– Sheets or blankets for draping and warmth
– Relaxing music

We hope you now mastered the sensual massage. For more great ideas like this one, check out our:

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I am a very outgoing person that loves spending time with my family and friends. I have a thirst for knowledge, I am completely at home in the kitchen, and my biggest passion in life is snow skiing. I've been married to my sweetheart for 15 years and we have 3 children. I also love to travel!

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Recent Comments

  1. Wow, these tips for giving a sensual massage are fantastic! Kari has truly provided a comprehensive guide on how to create a romantic and intimate experience through touch. Setting the mood with a serene and comfortable environment is key, and I love the idea of using tea-light candles, soft lighting, and calming music to create a sensual ambiance.

    The tips on how to give a sensual massage itself are incredibly helpful. Starting with a light touch and gradually increasing the pressure allows for relaxation and arousal. The emphasis on exploring neglected areas like wrists, ears, and scalp shows the importance of attention to detail and making your partner feel appreciated.

  2. I’m a massage therapist in Los Angeles, and I do provide women sensual massages. What a great article Kari. There are so many health benefits to a sensual massage. I’m glad for people like you that gets the word out.

  3. Great suggestions. My husband and I give each other back runs often. Reading this gave me ideas to make it romantic and to remind me to slow down a bit.

    1. Yes! I love this! We give each other massages a lot, too (basically we both have horrible backs! ha!). It seems like when we take our time it is a lot more intense and sensual, thus memorable 😉

  4. I’m seeking to rev things up in the bedroom and get my husband engine boiling not put him to bed (he works 60 hour weeks and always tired) what kind of massage can do that? desperately seeking advice

    1. Hi Gail! This type of massage will also work, you’ll just want to alter it for your husband. I would start with the shoulders/neck area and between the shoulder blades. Have him sitting up, rather than laying down. This is where most of us carry our stress. I would also focus on the scalp, hands and feet (Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet), just because these won’t put him to sleep but also feel amazing! I would look into using an orange scented massage oil as this scent usually helps to awaken and invigorate. While this book isn’t about sensual massage, it can give you great ideas for energizing your husband through touch.

  5. I’m so glad I found this! Have someone really special that needs to learn to relax and let the world go.. I’m thinking this might just be what gets him there! Thank you for sharing this.. u might be changing lives and not really realizing it!!

  6. We’re having 1 night away my plan is, a nice swim, spa, sauna back to the room for me to give the wife a full massage using coconut oil.
    I’ll report back in a few days 🙂

  7. Do you have any decent books that you would recommend on sensual massage. Many on amazon have pornagraphic pictures in them… I would love to read a book on this , but would like to steer clear of real pictures of couples

  8. Wow! So excited reading all the comments and knowing I am on the right track. My perfect wife reserved a 4 day stay in a cabin on a mountain creek after a severely difficult/stressful month at work for me. The irony is the dates happen to correspond with her birthday. So I’ve hidden candles, massage lotion, notecards for love notes etc. in a bag we are taking. I plan to give her a long sensual massage on the morning of her birthday. I think I have a clue about giving a massage but the information from you and the other responders gives me great ideas and in retrospect validates some of my plan. Thank you everyone for the advice and wish me luck!

    1. Brian, your wife is absolutely going to love that! You are so thoughtful and what a perfect time for a much needed getaway for the two of you. So glad you were able to find some helpful ideas/advice on here. Best of luck and hope you have a wonderful and relaxing getaway!

  9. DEZI!
    I absolutely love it! You know your husband’s love language and I admire you for that! If everybody read that book before getting married, I believe our divorce rate would be far less than it is now. Either couples would figure out they aren’t compatible or better yet they would know what it is that their partner needs from them and if willing to speak one another’s love language, marriages would last.

    Kudos to you and yours?


    1. Crystal! Thank you for your sweet comment! It’s SO true, knowing your spouse’s love language changes everything! Haha! I remember stumbling through the first few years of marriage trying all sorts of things (felt like throwing cooked spaghetti at a wall and just hoping something stuck!)… had I only known what really resonated with my husband would’ve saved me a lot of time and frustration. But I swear, that these massages are always a win with him. Wish you all best, thanks for visiting!

  10. Thank you so much. I loved the ideas you gave, without all the crass sensual stuff that is better left unread. Ready to surprise my hubby. Thanks again

  11. I’m a licensed massage therapist and umm that was really good advice you gave. Couldn’t have worded it better myself for my clients who ask for advice. ??

    1. Kim – wow, thank you!! I’m SO glad! That is a wonderful compliment, and a relief that I’m giving sound advice! 😉 Thanks so much for that!

  12. Mu hubby gave me a sensual message one time very romantic but man the message was soo good it put me to sleep missing out on the “finale” Lol think I’ll be the one giving the message this time! Thanks for the great advice!!

  13. …this is the first time I read your blog, and I looove it!…those ideas are just amazing, cannot wait to put them in practice!

  14. When I try to give my husband a massage, especially with light touch, he moves away because it tickles. Any suggestions?

    1. give a lot more pressure. Men have different sensitivity than women in their skin and don’t really like feather light touches! So give more pressure; they can handle it.

    2. Lissa – I agree with Rose. It depends on the man. My husband is ticklish and doesn’t enjoy the lighter touches, though I know many men out there do enjoy lighter touching. I would start with a deeper massage and go from there. Try to stay away from the areas that he would be more prone to be ticklish. you could even try using the larger electric back massagers that can be purchased at department stores (i.e. we got ours at Macy’s).

  15. I love the idea of giving my husband a massage but I often feel like I will be terrible at it! This has given me the confidence to pamper him just like he deserves. Thanks for the tipps

  16. Thanks for demystifying massage for us. Just sent my H a text telling him I wanted to give him one sometime this week. Love your stuff!

  17. Thanks for all the fabulous tips!! My husband’s love language is Physical Touch and doing something like this, instead of the lame 7 minute one I did last night in both our stinky work clothes, would make him think he had died and gone to heaven!