Sensual Massage

How to Give a Sensual Massage

The art of massage, and particularly sensual massage, has taken a backseat when it comes to intimacy. Many people, mostly us women, are sometimes uncomfortable giving massages to our spouses because we believe we aren’t any good at it. The truth is, any one of us can give an excellent massage like a pro if we would just allow ourselves to enjoy it as much as our spouse does. I don’t know about any of you…but I LOVE the spa. I’m sort of addicted you could say. A professional massage is amazing because you are relaxed once you walk in the door knowing that you are about to get pampered. To be honest, I would take a massage from my husband over the spa any day. So I thought it would definitely be fun to share some ideas with all of you on how to give a semi-professional massage right in your own home.


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Set The Mood

  1. When giving a sensual massage ambiance is the key to success. Even if you are indeed not very good at giving a massage (or so you like to think), the atmosphere is of the utmost importance. It will create an environment of relaxation and comfort which in turn will help your spouse to feel calm so they will be able to focus in on their more intimate senses…if you know what I mean…
  2. You can really set up shop in any room, but if you have kids and want to ensure privacy I would recommend doing so in your bedroom (wink, wink). Make sure that the room is de-cluttered and clean. It really is hard to have romance or relax when there is disaster everywhere you look.
  3. Scatter tea light candles around the room (this creates a more flattering light for both of you), decorate with some rose petals, lay down a clean sheet or towels (using massage oils can make a mess so be prepared), and have some soft, calming music playing in the background (I prefer nature sounds or ambient noise…something along those lines). You can also use a blindfold if your spouse has a difficult time blocking out other distractions.
  4. Another good way to start out the night is to draw your spouse a nice warm bath. Let them relax while you set up for the massage. This will also help to warm up the muscles and relax them before you begin.

HOW To Give A Sensual Massage

  1. The best way to start the sensual massage is to rub your hands together to warm them up. No one likes cold hands for a massage…brr! Warm the oil in your hands before putting it on your spouse, or take a tip from the spas and immerse the bottle in a bowl of warm water. (Similar to the post Corie did HERE.) I highly recommend Bath & Body Works Stress Relief Massage Oil from their Aromatherapy line…it’s Eucalyptus Spearmint and it’s wonderful! I also have a small travel candle in the same scent that I will light and put close so he’s breathing in the relaxing, calming aroma. Another great option is the Kama Sutra massage oil line…it’s edible :).
  2. Start out with a light touch; your objective is to arouse, not to bruise. Start with some long strokes with no oil down from the head to the toes. Touch very lightly so you are just touching the hairs of the body. You can try using fur or feathers to start the massage. Get your own feather duster from Amazon HERE.
  3. Next place some oil on your hands and massage the back with long, easy strokes. You can position yourself behind their head and stroke down the back near the spin and back up the sides. I like to use a Heart Warming Massager at the beginning. It’s a heated massage pad that is perfect for relieving muscle tension, reducing stress, and soothing your aches…and it’s reusable. You can get one of these from Amazon HERE.
  4. Start slowly and then once the muscles have warmed up and relaxed increase the pressure. Next, knead the muscles around your spouse’s shoulders and neck using your thumb and forefingers. Most of us hold a lot of tension in our neck and shoulders (I personally collect a plethora of knots in between my shoulder blades…so this is the main area my husband massages for me). Keep in mind that you want to follow the flow of the muscles, not against them. Pay attention to what pressure points your spouse is responding to.
  5. You can massage the wrists, fingers, ears, the back of the neck, and the insides of the elbows and knees…these areas are probably rarely given any attention. Rub your fingers over your spouse’s scalp, massage and rub every finger and every toe until your spouse is fully relaxed. Feel free to rub, kiss, lick, and even nibble on these neglected regions. Your spouse will feel appreciated by your attention to detail…{WINK} If you have a problem with your hands tiring too quickly, give a sensual massage using your body. Your hands aren’t your only tools; you can make good use of your oiled arms, chest and stomach.
  6. As with most things…never, ever expect a massage in return. Your spouse may be so relaxed after getting one from you that they are unable to reciprocate immediately after you finish. That doesn’t mean they won’t reciprocate your loving affection later on.

Added Extras…

For women: Appropriate attire for you to wear? Lol…try a silk chemise. You husband will LOVE to have that silkiness glide across his skin while you are massaging his back muscles. Anything but those grubby sweats that you’ve been lounging around in all evening will work perfectly. Remember…this is a sensual massage.

For Men: Women like to be touched…especially by their significant other. 🙂 It is comforting and stimulating at the same time. You want to relax her and to calm her — so don’t press too hard. Be alert to her body’s responses to you and you can’t go wrong.

About the Author: Kari

I am a very outgoing person that loves spending time with my family and friends. I have a thirst for knowledge, I am completely at home in the kitchen, and my biggest passion in life is snow skiing. I've been married to my sweetheart for 14 years and we have 3 children.

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Recent Comments

21 Responses to Sensual Massage

  1. Thanks for all the fabulous tips!! My husband’s love language is Physical Touch and doing something like this, instead of the lame 7 minute one I did last night in both our stinky work clothes, would make him think he had died and gone to heaven!

  2. I love the idea of giving my husband a massage but I often feel like I will be terrible at it! This has given me the confidence to pamper him just like he deserves. Thanks for the tipps

    1. give a lot more pressure. Men have different sensitivity than women in their skin and don’t really like feather light touches! So give more pressure; they can handle it.

    2. Lissa – I agree with Rose. It depends on the man. My husband is ticklish and doesn’t enjoy the lighter touches, though I know many men out there do enjoy lighter touching. I would start with a deeper massage and go from there. Try to stay away from the areas that he would be more prone to be ticklish. you could even try using the larger electric back massagers that can be purchased at department stores (i.e. we got ours at Macy’s).

  3. Mu hubby gave me a sensual message one time very romantic but man the message was soo good it put me to sleep missing out on the “finale” Lol think I’ll be the one giving the message this time! Thanks for the great advice!!

  4. I’m a licensed massage therapist and umm that was really good advice you gave. Couldn’t have worded it better myself for my clients who ask for advice. ??

  5. DEZI!
    I absolutely love it! You know your husband’s love language and I admire you for that! If everybody read that book before getting married, I believe our divorce rate would be far less than it is now. Either couples would figure out they aren’t compatible or better yet they would know what it is that their partner needs from them and if willing to speak one another’s love language, marriages would last.

    Kudos to you and yours💕


    1. Crystal! Thank you for your sweet comment! It’s SO true, knowing your spouse’s love language changes everything! Haha! I remember stumbling through the first few years of marriage trying all sorts of things (felt like throwing cooked spaghetti at a wall and just hoping something stuck!)… had I only known what really resonated with my husband would’ve saved me a lot of time and frustration. But I swear, that these massages are always a win with him. Wish you all best, thanks for visiting!